Adventures in Parenting
by Sparkling-nexis137
Summary: Splinter. Someone who in one day was not only mutated into a giant rat, but suddenly found himself with four turtle children! You think he went into it as a perfect parent? You couldn't be more wrong.
1. First Night

**First Night**

 _Crying._

 _Nothing, but crying._

Splinter stood practically pulling his newly mutated whiskers out. What had happened to his life? One minute he was a normal human buying a few pet turtles to keep around the house, and then BAM! He was a mutant rat living in the sewers with four babies who _would not stop crying!_

He stared down at them with a mix of worry and horror. What was he to do?! He decided to assess the situation for the fiftieth time that day. Not because he didn't understand it, but because breaking it down helped him not to plunge into a full blown panic attack!

So, what did he know?

One, he was a mutant rat. That much was obvious.

Two, he could no longer live among other humans. He had attempted to ask some humans for help soon after his mutation, but their terrified screams and a few bullets from some patrolling cops were more than enough to convince him that he no longer belonged to their world. This wounded him deeply, but at the same time he was a ninja. Used to seclusion from the outside world and living in secret. Granted this was a stretch even for him, but nothing he couldn't handle.

Three, he now lived in the sewers. This was a strictly tactical move. It was an expansive and elaborate maze of tunnels which allowed him access to anywhere in the city. He would easily be able to find food, water, clothing, and whatever else he might need as well as have enough room to move about so he didn't feel like a, well, like a rat trapped in a cage. Shelter would be no problems. All in all though the mutation into a rat was definitely not his first choice, he would be able to handle his new lifestyle with all the ease of the ninja master that he was. At least that's what he would have thought except for…

Four. Four baby turtles lying on a table in front of him screaming their tiny, green heads off. Out of everything that had happened to him that day this was the one thing that truly frightened him. He remembered how he had discovered them. After he fled down into the sewer to avoid the police he had planned to run away into his newfound seclusion.

But then he heard them. It was faint at first. A slight green glow in the air. A hushed murmur. He turned around, and suddenly there they were. Lying upon the ground surrounded by a pool of whatever green goo had transformed him. Four precious children. So helpless. So beautiful. It was love at first sight. More than love. It was his new family, and on some levels even more wonderful than the one he had lost back in Japan. He picked one of them up into his arms. Carefully. Cautiously, as if the slightest movement would cause them to break.

He didn't know how long he held the little one, staring at him with wonder as if holding the stars themselves in his arms. But eventually the little turtle clutched his newly grown fur with wandering fingers. And he smiled. And that's when Splinter knew that these four were his children. And that he would love them until the day he died and all eternity after.

But then reality set in.

And the crying started.

Splinter stood there staring at the crying children who, despite his fervent prayers, had once again not ceased crying while he desperately tried to get his life together during the twenty seconds it took him to make his mental list.

He had been prepared to live a hundred years scrounging on scraps and garbage, but being a parent? Sure, he was a parent before, but A) He had his wife to help him, B) He had only had one child to take care of, and C) SHE WASN'T A MUTANT TURTLE! How does one even take care of a mutant turtle child? How much of them was turtle and how much human? Should he give them milk or worms? That one was actually easy since he had _neither_! But that brought about new worries as he remembered that he had nothing, no supplies, no food, zip, nadda with which to take care of his new found sons!

And so here they were again. In the middle of the abandoned train car that he was currently using for shelter with his four new children lying on a rusty metal table. Crying. He knew he needed to go get supplies. He would _not_ lose his children to starvation. But could he leave them alone? Surely, anyone within a mile could hear their screams, and the moment some human, stray dog, or possible sewer gator found them they were as good as gone. He needed to quiet them down. But how?

"Shhhhh. Please, my sons. Be still." He picked one up, and rocked him gently in his arms, stroking his head the same way that he had his daughter back in his old life. Slowly, it started to lull the little one to sleep, but all too quickly the vestiges of sleep burned to smoke as a loud cry erupted from the table.

Splinter looked down to see one of his children flailing around, unconsciously smacking his brother in the face. Oh, that one was going to be a fighter! The brother's unceremonious cry of response set the chain of cries blaring anew. Splinter sighed. This wasn't working. If he wanted to get them to sleep it had to be all at once.

An idea suddenly sprung to life in his mind. He set the turtle in his arms back on the table with his brothers. Clearing his throat, he began to sing. Softly, sweetly. Just like she used to.

" _Lullaby and good night, with roses bedight  
With lilies o'er spread is baby's wee bed  
Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed  
Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed"_

Slowly, the children began to quiet down. He smiled, remembering the way his wife had once sang this exact same song. Out of a thousand Japanese lullabies, she had chosen this one English song with which to send their young daughter off to sleep.

" _Lullaby and goodnight, thy mother's delight  
Bright angels beside my darlings abide  
They will guard thee at rest, thou shalt wake on my breast  
They will guard thee at rest, thou shalt wake on my breast"_

He hummed as the children yawned, their eyes closing to sweet slumber at last.

She had chosen the perfect song.

With the tune still straining across his lips he quietly backed out of the car. Though slumbering now they would soon awaken and when they did he vowed he would have food for them. He had been blessed with a second chance to be a parent. A second chance to have a family! And by the lullaby he sang and everything in him he swore that he would not waste this chance.

With the final notes of his song the door slide shut. And Splinter prepared to provide for his family, both now and forever more.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi hi everyone! Sparkles here with the newest TMNT fanfic! YAAAAAY~! This is a fic devoted to the love, the trials, and the hilarity of family! Specifically the family of everyone's favorite bunch of turtles! There will be laughs! (Lots of laughs since you know it's me) But there will also be some more emotional chapters since, of course, both laughs and tears are part of what it means to be a family.**

 **Though the next chapter and maybe some of the following will be more or less in chronological order, the story will eventually start skipping around, going from infant to teen years to childhood and everywhere in-between! But don't worry. I'll** _ **probably**_ **tell you what period of time we're in at the start of the chapter. Most of the time that is. ;D**

 **Anyway, I would love to hear what you think of this latest story! Thank you all so much for reading, and, as always, have a super happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	2. A Walk With Gelato

**A Walk With Gelato**

 _Almond petals danced around them as laughter echoed through the streets of Venice._

" _Try it!"_

" _It's too sweet."_

" _How do you know if you won't try it?"_

 _Yoshi laughed as his beautiful wife, Shen, sat in front of him playfully attempting to thrust a cup of gelato right up his nose. He could tell from her mischievous expression that she wouldn't be giving up on her quest to force her frozen treat into his face any time soon, so, reluctantly, he tried a spoonful of the extra-sweet, Italian ice cream._

 _Immediately, his face scrunched up as the overwhelming sweetness hit his taste buds. Shen laughed all the harder at her husband's gently twisted features._

" _How you stand these Western desserts is beyond me." said Yoshi as he waited for the sweetness to slowly fade._

 _Shen shook her head. "Honestly, Yoshi. You're too closed minded. Japan is wonderful, but there's so much more out there."_

" _I know." He said as he wrapped his arms around her. "Which is why I'm thankful to have a wife with such…unique tastes to broaden my horizons."_

 _She laughed, smacking him on the arm before leaning back into his lap._

 _As she stared up into his eyes and he stared back down at her, she slowly lifted a hand to cup his face, the cold from the gelato tingling against his cheek._

" _Trust me, my love." she said, a smile gleaming in her eyes. "Before our honeymoon is over I will show you exactly what this country has to offer."_

 _A cry pierced the air._

* * *

Splinter jolted awake. He looked around his newfound home, the algae covered stones alien as he slowly tried to remember where he was. Thankfully, the cry coming from the other room served as a quick reminder.

With a sigh he rose from the makeshift table he had apparently been passed out at. He swore parenting hadn't been this exhausting the first time around.

As he stretched the cry amplified in volume.

"Hai. Hai. I hear you, my son."

He shook his head, smiling. He had only been a parent for one day and he already knew who was causing trouble.

As he walked into what he deemed the nursery room he looked down at his four children, each of whom now lie in a make-shift crib composed of plastic tubs and worn out blankets he had salvaged from the dump. He turned to the left to the crib nearest the door where now lay the source of his awakening.

"Upset again, little one?" asked Splinter as he picked up the crying child in question. Ever since he had brought this one home he had done nothing but cry and flail his tiny little limbs about like miniature windmills. He was a troublesome child, but something about the fire in his spirit reminded him of himself when he was little.

As he slowly rocked his screaming son, he realized that he hadn't actually named him yet. Or any of his new sons for that matter. Sure, he had names for them when they were regular turtles, but Zippy, Speedy, Lightening, and Flash hardly seemed appropriate for his newfound children.

"It appears you need a name, my son." said Splinter smiling. "Perhaps I'll call you…Gelato."

WHAM!

Splinter flinched back in surprise. Did he just…Did he just get punched in the face by a baby?!

Splinter looked down at his son, the small turtle's arms flailing even as newfound soreness blossomed across Splinter's jaw. Truly, he needed to redouble his ninja training if an infant could deal him such a mighty blow.

As Splinter rubbed his jaw with his freehand, he remembered something from years ago.

* * *

 _It was Florence, Italy. His wife had taken him to the Palazzo Pitti museum to see a painting._

" _Well, what do you think?"_

 _Yoshi stared up at the painting. It depicted God surrounded by storm clouds and seated among angels and ferocious beasts who looked ready to rend anyone who might approach their master to pieces._

" _I think these Westerners have the subtly of a cannon."_

 _Shen laughed._

" _Because Kabuki is soooo subtle."_

 _Yoshi's cheeks burned red. His wife always knew how to point out his little hypocrisies. A trait he both loved and loathed._

" _This is the Ezekiel's Vision, painted by the great artist Raphael." she continued." It's one of the most passionate depictions of God ever to come out of the Renaissance."_

" _Is he supposed to seem so…frightening?"_

" _He's supposed to seem strong." she explained. "That's how you know he'll protect you."_

* * *

Splinter was jolted from his thoughts as another fist barely missed his newly elongated nose. He looked down at his unhappy son and smiled.

"Very well then. If you don't care for Gelato, then I shall call you…Raphael. Does this suit you, oh angry one?"

As Splinter continued rocking his son, slowly the child began to calm down, his wildly whirling limbs gradually ceasing their rampant rotations.

"Raphael it is."

With a gentle kiss on the head, Splinter laid the little turtle back in his crib, silently praying he would stay silent for at least a little longer.

" _Uh! Uh!"_

Splinter's head turned to the right as he noticed yet another of his sons had woken from their slumber. He walked over to the back, left-most corner of the room where his son was now gently moving his limbs as small grunts escaped from his lips.

Splinter's eyes narrowed. This was crunch time. The sputtering calm right before the storm that would soon lead to another wailing storm of tears and agitation if he didn't move quickly enough to placate his son. He looked down at the child, noticed the rounded movements of his mouth, and automatically knew what had to be done.

With all the speed of a ninja master he picked up his child and flew out of the room straight to the kitchen. Or rather what he called the kitchen since it was just an old cooler sitting in a little alcove amidst his solid stone lair, but calling it the kitchen helped him feel just a little bit more normal.

He quickly opened to cooler to produce a lukewarm bottle of thankfully not quite expired milk mixed with algae and ground worms. He had discovered from a pamphlet he had "borrowed" from the pet shop that baby turtles were omnivorous from birth, but since his sons were some part human he had decided to mix it with some milk just to be safe.

With one swift motion he plopped the bottle into his son's mouth, who immediately calmed, pacified by the presence of much needed food.

Splinter smiled, his breathing slowly returning to normal now that the crisis was averted.

"That's it, my son. Drink as much as you like."

With warm eyes Splinter watched his son do exactly as told, filling his tiny belly with the apparently pleasing invention.

Invention…

* * *

 _Yoshi watched with a mixture of curiosity and downright confusion at what was going on before him._

 _They were in the town of Vinci, Italy, another one of his wife's honeymoon destinations. He had expected rolling green hills and rustic building._

 _Instead, before his very eyes, he and a crowd of people watched as a man dressed in Renaissance clothing was sitting in a tiny cart with a large wood and paper spiral coming out of the top pedaling like a mad man in an attempt to get the cart to fly!_

 _Yoshi watched as the man and his cart bounced around the town square like a psychotic chicken, the strange flying mechanism on top giving him aerial lift for precious seconds at a time before falling right back to the ground only to hop back into the air seconds later. All in all it reminded him of something he might see at an Italian circus!_

" _And you call this…genius?" asked Yoshi incredulously._

 _Tang Shen shook her head. "This? No. This I call comedy. But beneath the comedy is where the genius lies. That thing coming out of the cart is called an aerial screw, one of the first prototype flying machines ever created by the great inventor, Leonardo Da Vinci."_

 _Yoshi cocked an eyebrow. "I thought Da Vinci was a painter. Is he not?"_

" _He's a painter, yes, but he's also an inventor, musician, mathematician, botanist. Over the course of his life he mastered more than fifteen different area of study."_

" _He must have been extremely disciplined to master so many."_

 _Tang Shen smiled as she looped her arm around her husband's elbow._

" _He was. A lot like you."_

* * *

Splinter looked down as his child drained the last drops from the bottle.

"My! Someone was hungry." he said with a laugh. He lifted the tiny turtle to his shoulder, patting him once on the back. Immediately, the little one let out a tiny burp before relaxing into his father's warm fur.

"Well done. My Leonardo."

The child snuggled more firmly into his father's shoulder as Splinter slowly crept back to the nursery. With silent footsteps he set little Leonardo back in his bed.

As he tucked the tiny turtle in he felt a strange sensation. As if he were being watched. He looked behind him only to find yet another son awake and currently staring at him with wide, watchful eyes.

Splinter shook his head as he stepped over to the third crib.

"Does no one wish to stay asleep tonight?"

He looked down at his child who continued staring at him with those same curious eyes. Splinter reached down a finger to stroke the little one's plastron, as he learned it was called, only for the little one to grab his finger with wondering hands.

Splinter smiled as he watched his son curiously grasp his knuckle.

* * *

 _Tuscany, Italy._

 _Yoshi and Shen stood outside the Effizi Galleria, staring up at an imposing statue of a man in medium length robes with a turban on his head looking off into the distance._

 _Shen sighed. "The one day we come to visit and it's closed for renovations." She ate her Gelato in a huff, savoring the sweet taste to contrast her bitter heart._

" _I admit it is a setback." said Yoshi carefully. "However, if you knew it would be closed why did we come?"_

 _Shen took the spoon from her mouth and plopped it back into her gelato._

" _Because not all the sculptures are inside the museum." she said pointing up at the one before them. "This is the great sculptor, Donatello. While everyone else in his time was using the same old Gothic style, he pioneered new ways of combining ancient Roman form with innovative new techniques in perspective. Some say his sculptures were so filled with emotion that they looked as if they had been sculpted from life itself."_

 _Yoshi looked at the statue of the man before them, slowly taking in the details of the piece. His strong features. The way he looked off into the distance as if analyzing the world itself._

" _He does have an air of wisdom to him." he admitted._

 _Shen grinned. "Finally, taking an interest in Italian art I see. Are you sure you wouldn't rather have him in a kimono?"_

 _Yoshi smiled at her. He had to admit, this Western style of art was slowly growing on him._

 _Shen turned back to the sculpture._

" _He chose to try things no one else had ever thought of. And became famous for it. If he can do that, maybe going to a museum without actually going_ inside _the museum doesn't seem quite so farfetched."_

* * *

Splinter watched as the tiny turtle's finger slowly slipped away from his knuckle, falling back onto the covers as his son drifted back into his slumber.

"Rest easy. Donatello."

With a gentle smile he slipped the blanket back over Donatello's sleeping form.

He looked around the room. Thanks to their apparent inability to sleep three of his sons now bore strong names which carried with them a legacy of great artists, inventors, and philosophers. Names that one day he hoped the whole world would know and love them by.

And yet one remained.

Slowly, Splinter walked over to his last remaining son, the only one who had actually decided to sleep through the night. This was his smallest son. Even at the pet store he had known this one was the runt of the litter, hatched last out of all his brothers, and yet somehow that fact had made him want to bring this little one home all the more.

As he stood staring down at his peacefully sleeping son he actually felt…disappointed. After of moment of staring without incident he finally sighed, shaking his head in resignation.

" _Well…Why not?"_ he thought humorously.

Laughing both to and at himself, he gently picked up his youngest son, stroking his cheek in hopes of lulling away the sleep for just a moment.

"Wake up, my little one. It's time to find out who _you_ are."

And as the very words left his mouth, he remembered something. Something precious.

* * *

 _It was the final day of their honeymoon. Tang Shen had shown him all across Italy, from Rome to Venice to Tuscany. She had shown him so many wondrous sights._

 _But now he couldn't_ see _anything at all!_

" _Where exactly are we going?" asked Yoshi, fumbling blindly as Tang Shen held her hands firmly over his eyes._

" _It's a surprise."_

 _Yoshi frowned. As a ninja he didn't exactly like nor trust surprises. Usually they resulted in either a blade at your throat or a shuriken in your back. However, since he doubted that his wife had suddenly hired a bunch of pizza eating assassins to take him out he went along with her little game, praying that wherever she was taking him, they would get there before he found himself eating a mouthful of pavement._

 _Suddenly, Shen brought him to a stop._

" _Are you ready?"_

 _Yoshi cocked an eyebrow. "A ninja is ready for anything."_

" _Then open your eyes."_

 _Tang Shen's hands slide away from his face. Slowly, Yoshi's eyes opened, his blurred vision adjusting to the light after his long period in darkness._

 _But as his eyes adjusted they quickly widened in wonder._

 _Around him, on every side, north, east, south, west, were walls upon walls of paintings! Murals depicting hundreds of figures, each person a work of art in themselves and yet when positioned side by side created the greatest masterpiece his eyes had ever seen._

 _Tang Shen stood beside him, watching as he stared slack-jawed at the world around him._

" _Welcome to the Sistine Chapel. One of the greatest works of art in the entire world."_

 _Yoshi continued to stare._

" _I have to admit, I was not ready for this."_

 _Tang Shen laughed._

" _It gets better. Look up."_

 _Slowly, Yoshi turned his eyes skywards to reveal even more wonderful paintings! These more grand, more powerful, more beautiful than even the ones he had already beheld._

 _As Yoshi strained his neck to see all the elements to the beautiful tapestry of art above him, Shen stood innocently beside him, looking up and following his gaze._

" _You know what my favorite part about the Sistine Chapel is?"_

 _Yoshi shook his head. "I can only begin to imagine."_

" _It makes you look up."_

 _Yoshi turned to her confused._

" _Up?"_

" _Up. We spend so much of our day looking down and around that we never stop to actually look up."_

 _Yoshi stared, confused. "And why would that be so important?"_

 _Shen laughed._

* * *

Splinter looked down upon his youngest son whose eyes slowly fluttered open as he stared skyward towards his teary eyed father.

" _Because silly. When you look up…"_

Slowly, the edges of the little turtle's mouth began to curl.

" _You smile!"_

A tear slide down Splinter's face as he stared into the eyes of his beaming son, a smile as bright as the sun itself painted across his tiny features.

Unlike all their other trips, Shen had waited until he had asked to tell him the name of the artist. But it was a name he had never forgotten.

"It is an honor to meet you." He said with a smile.

"Michelangelo."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi Hi Everyone! The second chapter is here at last!**

 **First off, thank you all so much for reading. You guys ROCK OUT LOUD! And second, you would not BELIEVE how much research had to be done to get this chapter out here. I spent half an hour just trying to find out what flowering tree native to Italy would be in the first scene. It was a complex and difficult story to write, but it was soooo much fun! And like my writing teacher always said, "A writer who loves their work is a writer who does their research."**

 **Anyway, I would love to hear what you guys think of this latest chapter. Thank you so much for reading, and as always have a super happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	3. Baby Talk

**Baby Talk**

"Hey, Mac."

"Yeah, Bern?"

"The other day I went to the boss's office to ask for a raise. I told her 'I'm a hard working employee who deserves to move up in the world.'"

"And what'd she say?"

"Nothing! She gave me a step stool and sent me on my way!"

"Baaaahahaha!"

All around the sewer tunnel construction workers laughed amidst large machines and tall electric lights.

Splinter himself muffled his chuckles at Bernie's corny joke, clutching a bag of freshly dumpster-plucked groceries in his arms as he hid high above the crew nestled stealthily among the pipes.

It had been six months since his little mutation incident, and though he had thought a lifetime of solitude would come naturally to him as a ninja he soon discovered that spending month after month with no human contact was much more difficult than anticipated. The first few weeks had been easy, mainly because all his attention had been focused on figuring out his new living situation and caring for his young sons.

Now that he was at least moderately settled, however, the loneliness of his new lifestyle was quickly becoming unbearable. His sons were wonderful, but by no means could be counted as decent conversation partners.

At one point he wondered if he would go mad from the lack of outside contact. When he first arrived in New York he had seen a homeless man who walked around in a ballerina tutu screaming about how his brain was being eaten by mutant potatoes! Was that Splinter's fate? To dwell in the lonely silence until he too was dancing about in colorful clothes proclaiming the misdeeds of alien vegetables? He had imagined it once, and sadly enough it had put him off eating his daily supply of carrots for a week.

Thankfully, as the sixth month passed winter settled upon New York, and with it new denizens came to the sewers. Some were homeless people seeking shelter in the warmth of the tunnels, but most were construction workers toiling tirelessly to make sure the city's network of steam pipes were kept in tip-top shape.

At first Splinter had been terrified. The more people there were the more chances he had of them discovering his secret hideout, and worse, his children! But at the same time the sound of human voices echoing through the air had been like sweet music to his mutated ears. And no music was sweeter than that of his personal construction crew.

They had come to the sewers to do some routine maintenance work, but upon discovering a set of hazardously worn pipes had extended their stay. As the days passed by Splinter had cautiously started to watch them, drawn by their warm demeanor and the hilarious, if not sometimes cheesy, tales of the one called Bernie, or Bern for short.

He was a master of comedy, and when the turtles were down for their naps, Splinter took the greatest delight in settling down to watch the crew and listen to his comedic stories.

But as with many good things in life, his story time had to come to a close. Splinter checked the time on a watch he had scavenged. 2:15. His sons would be up any minute, and what's more, though he enjoyed his human time, he knew that leaving them for anything longer than an hour put them at risk.

With a heavy heart and a sigh, Splinter stealthily leapt from his perch, jumping from pipe to pipe until he landed a safe enough distance away to continue on foot. He turned back towards the distant crew with a smile.

"Until next time, my friends."

* * *

" _Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"_

Splinter walked through the archway to his home just in time to hear crying coming from his most troublesome son.

"Yes, Raphael, I hear you!" Splinter half shouted with a smile on his face. He walked to the kitchen where he set down his bag of groceries and plucked a fresh bottle from the milk cooler. By now he had several sets of coolers with which to store his dumpster begotten treasures. He hoped one day he would have a refrigerator, but sadly with no electricity snow was the best he could get for keeping things cool.

With bottle in hand he walked into the nursery to find all his sons awake, and one screaming his head off.

The moment he stepped through the door Michelangelo cried excitedly to see him.

"Why, it is wonderful to see you too, Michelangelo." said Splinter as he plucked Raphael from his crib and plopped the bottle firmly in his mouth. "How has your day been?"

"Ababababab." said the tiny turtle. Splinter smiled. Though none of his sons would be able to speak for quite some time, they had begun to make their first non-crying or gurgling sounds. And none of them were more talkative than his little Michelangelo.

"You don't say?" said Splinter. "And did your brothers behave while I was gone?"

"Geeeeeee."

"They did not?! Whatever do you mean?"

"Aheh! _Yaaaaaa!_ "

"Leonardo escaped his crib to battle a dragon?!" asked Splinter in mock shock. He turned to Leonardo. "Is this true?!"

Leonardo stared at him with questioning eyes.

"No need to deny it, my son. I can see the guilt in your eyes. But tell me this: Did you win?"

Leonardo stared for a moment longer before he put his hand in his mouth and started sucking on his own fingers.

Splinter grinned. "Well done, my son! To defeat a dragon at your age is no small feat. This calls for a celebration! Warm bottles of milk all around!"

The babies all stared apathetically at his grand proclamation, all except Raphael having moved on to their next diversion. Splinter chuckled to himself. His children may not be great conversationalists, but that didn't mean they did not have fun.

One by one Splinter plucked his children from their cribs and escorted them to the living room to practice sitting upright on their own. If they were going to be great warriors of the Hamato clan one day sitting up would be the least of their training. And if it just so happened to fill the time until he could go spend more time listening to Bern's stories, well that was just a consequence he would have to live with.

* * *

Splinter sat high up in the pipes as the construction workers labored below.

"Hey, Mac."

"Yeah, Bern?"

"The other day I told my dog, Skippy, to go fetch me a bone. So, he went off and I waited a bit, and when he came back you wouldn't believe what he brought me!"

"What?"

"It was a dinosaur bone!"

"No way!"

"Yeah, way! So, I look at the bone and I think 'I could make a lot of money off this thing.' So, I tell Skippy to go get me another bone. And he goes off, and I waited a little bit, and sure enough he brought me back another one! This time it was from a Tyrannosaurus Rex! Big bone! From the biggest dinosaur of them all!"

"That must be worth a ton of money."

"You bet it was! So, I think 'Why am I doing this one at a time?' So, I turn to my dog, Skippy, and I tell him 'I want you to go fetch me the biggest, oldest, mustiest pile a bones you can find. And he runs off and I waited a little bit, and you know what he brought back?"

"What?"

"My mother-in-law!"

"Baaaaaaahahahahahaaa!"

The tunnels erupted in laughter. Even Splinter had to bite his fist out of sheer effort to suppress his barely contained guffaws.

Though the ninja master himself had deeply loved Tang Shen's mother, Bern's infamous mother-in-law often led to some of his best material. Splinter had feared that he would be late to the show after his children refused to go down for their naps, but after some soft-singing and a sprint down the tunnels he had arrived just in time.

"Man, Bern, you are really on point today." said Mac, whipping his brow with a pocket handkerchief.

Suddenly, an alarm blared off to the side.

"Break time!" called the foreman. Everyone began packing their things. Splinter checked his watch. He should be getting back also. It was already well past his usual hour, so his children were all probably getting restless by now. He stood up, ready to leap back towards his home when—

"Hold it! Hold it just one minute!"

He stopped. Splinter cast his eyes down to see Bern taking a position on top of a pile of concrete.

"Before you go anywhere." said Bern. "I got a story I'm just dying to tell you."

"Awwww, Bern!" said Mac. "Can't it wait until after lunch?"

"Ya want food, or ya wanna hear the most excitin', most gut wrenchingly funny story ya ever heard in your life?"

Everyone mumbled among themselves. Finally, the foreman spoke up.

"This better be a good story, Bern!"

"Trust me," said Bern grinning. "It'll knock your socks off so hard they'll die, go to Heaven, and send ya back a postcard."

The entire crew laughed as they gathered around for the story.

Splinter checked his watch. Surely, he could afford just a little longer. His children had been late getting to their naps, so they were probably still sleeping anyway. One more story couldn't hurt.

With a confident smile on his face, Splinter sat back down ready for the tale of his life.

* * *

A can skidded down the stone tunnel.

Behind it trudged Jeremy, a young construction worker carrying a heavy box of lunch orders. He was new to the crew, sure, but that didn't mean they had to go and stick him on lunch patrol.

"This stinks!" he shouted as he once again kicked the can. Nothing seemed to be going right today. First, he got sent on lunch patrol. Then, the lady at the deli-counter had kept him waiting forever, not to mention giving him the stink eye. And now, to top it all off, he was lost! Lost in the sewers of New York, trudging about with a heavy box of lunches, most of which smelled horrible! Could it get any worse?

" _Ababababab."_

Jeremy stopped. Was that…Nah! Couldn't be.

" _Geeeeeee_."

No. He definitely heard it that time. Slowly, Jeremy put down the lunch box. He crept down the tunnel towards a large stone archway where he could hear…well, he could hear something. Now he just had to investigate and find out what it was…

* * *

"And so there we were." said Bern as his audience stared. "The house was on fire, the cops were out front, and my mother was wrapped from head to toe in bubble wrap. I was furious! I turn to my little boy, Jimmy, who was standing there all teary eyed, watching his toys go up in smoke, and suddenly my heart melts. I mean he's just a kid, right? So, I sigh and I ask him 'Well, Jimmy, did you at least learn a lesson from all this?' and he nods, so I ask 'What did you learn?' and he looks me straight in the eye and says 'Next time I give grandma ice cream, I'll do it at _her_ house!'"

"Baaaaaaaaahahahaha!"

The entire tunnel erupted into a thunderous uproar of laughter and applause.

Splinter himself was practically rolling with laughter, clutching his side as his ribs threatened to snap from the force of his gasping guffaws. The joke may have taken a half-hour to set up, but it was more than worth the wait.

"That reminds me of my little girl, Bonnie." shouted one construction worker. "Last week melted her dolls in the oven because she thought they looked cold!"

"That's nothing!" called another. "The other day my little girl, Jen, asked my grandma, straight to her face, if she was part raisin!"

More howling crows echoed through the tunnels, and Splinter couldn't help but grin ear to ear. They were fathers! Just like him! Finally, people who understood exactly what he was going through! Who could have guessed that almost every member of this wise cracking crew was a parent dealing with the exact same situations that he was dealing with right now? You know, minus the mutation and living in a sewer part that is.

Splinter shook his head as his laughter calmed down. Every time he thought these construction workers were simple laborers they surprised him with their depth and wisdom. And each time they did he was reminded how truly grateful he was to have them in his life.

"Guys! Guys!"

Splinter looked down the tunnel where a young construction worker was sprinting towards the group with a massive box in his arms.

"Jeremy!" shouted the foreman. "What took ya so long? Those lunches better still be warm!"

"Forget the lunches!" shouted Jeremy as he stopped breathlessly in front of the crew. "I found something waaaaay better."

"Better?"

"Yeah! Check it out." Jeremy sat the box down on the ground as the construction workers gathered around to see what was inside. Splinter was curious himself, but unfortunately didn't have time to stay and find out. He leapt from his pipeline perch, ready to sprint towards home when—

" _Abababab."_

The world froze. Splinter could feel his heart turn to ice in chest. That sound. There was no mistaking that sound.

His entire body felt as if it had been turned to lead. So great was his shock that he missed the pipe he had been leaping towards, and instead SMACKED face first into another pipe before plummeting to the ground. It took every ounce of ninja training he had to land softly and scuttle into the shadows without being seen.

One of the construction workers briefly turned in his direction. The worker eyed the shadows, as if searching for something he couldn't quite make out, but, upon seeing nothing, turned back to face the box as he and everyone else murmured in wonder.

Splinter's heart crashed against his chest again and again even as stars from his recent head trauma continued to dance in front of his eyes. He was disoriented, but he knew he had to get back up to the pipes. Had to see for himself what was in the box even though deep down he already knew.

He turned and leapt into the air as high as his legs would take him. Latching onto one pipe and then another, he worked his way across the ceiling until finally he could see into the box. And as he did so, all his worst nightmares came true.

There, lying in the box, were his children. All four of them, wedged together as if they were the very sandwiches which the box had undoubtable once held. The construction workers ogled them.

"What are they?" asked one.

"Are they aliens?"

"What if they're like little dino-people?"

"Whatever they are, I bet we could make a fortune selling them online."

Splinter cursed himself. And then cursed himself again! How could he be so foolish?! He had left his children unguarded, unprotected, and now they were in the hands of a group of humans, not a few of whom were staring at them as if they were hunks of meat ready for sale.

Jeremy pulled the box closer to himself. "What do me 'we?' I found them!"

"Yeah, but you sacrificed _our_ lunches to do it!"

"Guys." said Bern nervously. "I don't think ya should be messing with them like that. They look like babies, and if their Mother's anything like my Mother-in-law she'll rips us apart faster than Mac with a pastrami sandwich when she finds out we have her kids."

"You worry too much, Bern. What are the odds that their parents are gonna find out?"

Splinter would have smiled if the situation wasn't so dire. He had to think fast. He had to get his kids, but if the workers saw him they would never return to the sewers again. He had to be subtle.

As fast as he could he fled back to his shadowy corner on the ground, and grabbed several small chunks of broken concrete in his hand. It was time to make use of the ninja's greatest weapon: Stealth.

With a quick flick of his wrist he sent a concrete chunk soaring across the tunnel into one of the electric lights. The light shattered, plunging that section of the tunnel into darkness.

"What was that?" asked Jeremy nervously.

One by one each of the lights in the tunnel were shattered, returning the tunnels to their natural state of shadowy gloom, only the light from the manhole covers in the distance providing what little illumination there was.

The construction workers looked around frantically.

A scuffle off to the side.

"I heard something!"

"Quick, Mac, get us a light."

Mac fumbled for a second before turning on a flashlight. He swung it around the tunnel, but Splinter was careful to avoid its piercing gaze. With silent footsteps he wove between the scattered workers on all fours, getting ever closer to the box with his children.

Mac looked around before suddenly stopping. His eyes watered as his breath hitched.

"What's the matter, Mac?"

"My allergies are acting up."

"I thought you were only allergic to fur."

"Well, there must be some nearby because…because… _A-CHOO!_ "

With a mighty sneeze Mac dropped the flashlight on the ground. The flashlight spun around and around before suddenly landing on none other than Splinter himself just as he was inches from grabbing the box. Splinter quickly hid his face behind the sleeve of his robe, caught despite all his efforts.

The construction workers stared.

"Hey, buddy." asked Bern fearfully. "Who are you?"

Splinter was trapped. It would be only seconds before they caught onto his not-so-human features. He could flee, but then his children would be left behind. But if they saw him…

No. He knew there was only one option. He took a deep breath, stilling himself.

"I'm sorry." He whispered quietly.

With a dramatic sweep of his arm Splinter revealed his mutated face.

And HISSED!

"RAAAAAAAAAAT!"

The construction workers all screamed, stampeding down the tunnels as they took flight from the horrific figure behind them.

As they ran Bern turned to Mac.

"Hey, Mac!"

"Yeah, Bern?"

"What has soiled pants and is never coming back to the sewers again?"

"What?"

"Me! Let's get out of here!"

The workers scrambled up the ladder, shoving each other out of the way until every single one of them was gone, up to the surface world never to return again.

Splinter sighed sadly.

"Goodbye…my friends."

Splinter turned down to his children, all of whom seemed to be alert and well despite everything that had occurred around them.

He smiled as he picked up the box. It was true his friends were now gone, but his family was safe, and that was all that mattered.

As he picked up the box Michelangelo smiled at him.

"Buuuuuuuu!"

"Why, yes, Michelangelo." said Splinter smiling. "They were silly men."

"Gebababa."

"You want to hear a funny story? Well, I would be happy to share. There once was a little kappa…"

And as Splinter regaled his children with his humorous tale, he turned down the tunnels, ready to make the long trek back home.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi Hi everyone! Here we are at Chapter Three! YAAAAAY! This was a long one, but it had to be to encompass all the long winded jokes and really capture Splinter's longing for human friends.**

 **Anyway, I would love to hear what y'all think of the latest chapter! Thank you all so much for reading, and as always have a hyper awesome day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	4. To Ninja or Not to Ninja

**To Ninja or Not to Ninja**

 **Age:** _Five Years_

Splinter sat in the middle of the dojo, a sword in his lap and several bowls of fruit seated in front of him.

Off to the side, four little five year old turtles stared, curiosity etched across their faces.

Subtly, Splinter glanced at his little ones, the anticipation gleaming in their eyes. The ghost of a smile flitted across his lips, but he made sure not to let it be seen.

He stilled himself, sitting in silence for just a moment until—

"Hajime!"

With a flick of his wrists he tossed the sword high in the air, the light glinting off its polished surface as it soared skyward.

As the sword rotated above, Splinter sweep-kicked the four bowls of fruit causing apples, mangos, pineapples, and cherries to leap upwards just like the sword before them.

Without looking, Splinter caught the sword behind his back. His eyes snapped opened, the airborne fruit dancing in the reflection of his irises.

SHINK!

Splinter returned to his seated position, the sword once again resting in his lap, seconds before dozens and dozens of pieces of finely chopped fruit plummeted through the air only to land neatly in the four bowls from whence they all came.

The little turtles erupted into cheers at this amazing act of swordsmanship!

All except one.

Splinter stood up, smiling.

"I am glad you all enjoyed my little demonstration, my sons. What I have just shown you is an ancient art form known as ninjitsu, and starting today you shall all be learning it."

"You mean we're gonna get to make fruit salad?!" exclaimed Mikey excitedly.

"I…suppose, but ninjitsu is for far more than chopping fruit."

"Like making vegedable salad?" asked Mikey as he helped himself to some pineapple.

Splinter wondered if perhaps he should have used a less food based introduction.

"Ninjitsu is for more than just cooking, my sons. By learning it you will become warriors, able to defend yourself and those you love. It will require discipline and hard work, but if you persist in your studies you too shall one day bear the title of ninja masters."

"Yeah!" shouted Raph. "I wanna be able to kick bad guy butt!"

He kicked out his foot for emphasis only to fall onto his butt seconds later.

"I wanna be a ninja just like Daddy!" shouted Leo.

"Me too!" shouted Mikey through a mouthful of cherries.

Splinter's heart glowed with pride. He had always dreamed that his children would one day follow in his footsteps. With these little ones here before him he would finally be able to rebuild the Hamato clan!

 _A ninja's life is no life for our child!_

His smile vanished as a voice echoed across his mind. He quickly shook his head. As he looked down at three of his children excitedly chattering about their new training he knew he was doing the right thing.

" _Three?"_

Splinter looked up to see one child who didn't look quite as thrilled as his brothers.

"Donatello, what is wrong? Are you not excited for your training?"

Donnie shifted uneasily.

"It looks…scary."

"Are you kiddin'?" asked Raph. "Didn't you see how awesome all that sword stuff was?"

"Of course I _saw_ it!" said Donnie. "I just don't like it."

"Come on, Donnie!" shouted Mikey as he slung his arm around Donnie. "We'll get to make fruit salad every day!"

"Michelangelo, there will be no more fruit salad." said Splinter.

"No more fruit salad ever?!"

"That's not what I…Never mind."

Splinter knelt down beside Donnie.

"Trust me, my son. You will enjoy ninja training. All you must do is give it a chance."

Donnie looked down, reluctance still plain in his eyes.

* * *

"Ichi. Ni. San. Ichi. Ni. San."

Splinter paced the room as his sons performed a simple kata. Step, punch, kick. Step, punch, kick.

It had been three weeks since their training had begun, and all in all they were doing very well.

"Very good, Leonardo. Michelangelo, tighten up. You're too loose. Raphael, less power. More control."

As Splinter came to the end of the line though, he was reminded that one of them was not doing as well as the others. Standing in front of him was Donatello going half-heartedly through the motions. Splinter had tried to coax him into enjoying the ninja training a bit more, even going so far as to give him special one on one sessions, but no matter what he did his second to youngest son would not share his brothers' enthusiasm.

"Yame."

The four children stopped in their tracks.

Splinter walked in front of them and bowed, and his four children bowed back respectfully.

"You did extremely well today. Now, go have some fun."

His children cheered as they ran from the room.

"Donatello, a word."

Donnie stopped as his brothers went on without him. Splinter sat down on his knees, and Donnie, knowing this as a sign by now, walked in front of him and settled into the same position.

"Did you enjoy your training today?" asked Splinter, already knowing the answer.

Donnie looked down. "No."

"Your brothers seemed to like it."

Donnie remained silent. Splinter sighed.

"Is there a particular reason you are so against learning ninjitsu?"

Donnie hesitated.

"Donatellooo."

"...Because."

"Because whyyyy?"

Honestly, sometimes getting words from his children was like pulling teeth.

After a moment more of hesitation Donnie turned to look him straight in the eye.

"Because fighting is dumb! I don't wanna be a Barry Bully! I wanna be like Doctor Caper—Doctor Caterpillar!"

Splinter stared.

"Who?"

"You know. From the book."

Splinter's face remained blank.

"What book?"

"The Doctor Caderpillar book."

Splinter thought back to all the stories he had read his children. Folktales from Japan. English fairy tales. Stories he had made up to please their little imaginations. There had been a lot of stories, but none of which involved anyone named Dr. Caterpillar.

"Let me see this book."

Donnie stood up diligently and ran from the room, stumbling a little on his way out the door.

He returned seconds later carrying a thin children's book with a caterpillar in a professor's hat on the cover.

"This one. It was in that big box that smelled like oranges."

Splinter took the book in his hands. A few weeks ago he had gone scavenging in a library dumpster when they were throwing out any books they hadn't been able to sell from some sort of book drive. He figured he could find some books to help in his children's schooling, though he knew most children didn't even begin to read until age six. Still, he had found quite a few treasures for both himself and his children and decided to bring them home in an old orange crate for future use.

However…

"I've never read you this book." said Splinter.

"I read it myself."

Splinters eyes widened. He knew Donatello had already memorized his letters, but reading? At his age without being taught?

"Show me."

Donnie nodded as he took the book from Splinter's hands. He quickly flipped through the pages until he came to a place that was apparently very familiar to him.

"Hitting people is very bad. It only makes them very sad. If you want to make them smile, use your words once in a while."

Splinter continued staring as Donnie flipped the book around to show him the pictures, mimicking exactly what Splinter himself did every night.

There was a pause as Splinter carefully thought over his next words.

"How long have you been able to do this?"

"A while." said Donnie self-consciously. "I liked watching you do it, so when you taught us our letters I wanted to give it a try. I still have trouble with the big words like Caper—Cader—"

"Caterpillar." finished Splinter.

"Yeah."

"And this 'Barry Bully' is…"

Donnie flipped through a couple of pages in the book before turning it back around revealing a picture of a large and angry looking beetle kicking sand at a pair of crying ants.

"This is him. They call him Steve in the book, but Mikey said Barry Bully is a better name. He was right."

"Can…Mikey read?" asked Splinter cautiously.

Donnie shook his head. "No. Just me."

Splinter nodded, some slight tension easing from his shoulders. He was overjoyed that his son was so advanced, but as a parent he had no idea how to handle _one_ possibly genius child, let alone two.

Still, one problem at a time. He looked back down at the picture of Barry. He could definitely see why his son would get the wrong idea of what ninja training was, but…

"Donatello, what we are doing and what this Barry Bully person are doing are two entirely different things." explained Splinter. "A ninja is someone who protects others while a bully is someone who hurts others."

"So, ninjas don't hurt people?" asked Donnie suspiciously.

"Well, they do, but—"

"See! They're just like Barry Bully!"

Splinter sighed. He needed to think of a better way to explain this, and unfortunately his brain was too busy trying to process this whole reading business to be of much help.

"Why don't you go play with your brother for now, and we can discuss this later?"

"Kay." replied Donnie, clearly unsatisfied. He clutched his book to his chest before quickly fleeing from the room as if any moment Splinter was going to force him into more ninja training.

Splinter sat for a moment, looking after his son.

 _A ninja's life is no life for our child!_

"Tang Shen."

* * *

The door to Splinter's room slide open. It was a simple room filled with furniture he had either gathered from his old home or salvaged from the dump. He had made the partition that separated it from the dojo with his own two hands, and though there were many improvements he wanted to make, it was still far better than the barren stone hole in the wall he had slept in when he was first transformed.

Slowly, he walked across the carpeted floor to his dresser where sat a single picture. It was one of the few photos he had left of his wife. The picture itself displayed him back when he was still human standing with Tang Shen and their newly born daughter, Miwa.

It was taken mere weeks after Miwa was born. They were so happy then.

But not everything in their marriage had been happy.

* * *

 _Moonlight filtered in past the rice paper doors._

 _Yoshi hissed with pain as his beloved wife, Shen, worked carefully washing a large gash on his arm._

" _You shouldn't have been out there." said Shen, the anger barely hidden in her voice._

" _The Silver Serpents were getting too powerful." replied Splinter. "We had no choice."_

" _You always have a choice!"_

 _She flung the rag down into the bowl of water. She tried to stand, but fell back to the ground seconds later. Splinter rushed to her side._

" _Are you hurt?"_

" _I'm fine."_

 _Yoshi stared, eyes laced with concern. Slowly, his eyes drifted down to her stomach._

" _And…"_

" _Don't worry. They're fine too."_

 _Shen's hand ran across her inflated belly attempting to sooth the six month old child housed within. The urge to place his hand on top of hers was almost overwhelming, but Yoshi knew better when she was in such an emotional state._

" _This can't continue." she said suddenly. "These missions are getting too dangerous."_

" _The Silver Serpents have been terrorizing the streets for months. If we didn't stop them—"_

" _There are many ninja in your clan. They could have handled it without you."_

" _They needed me."_

" _I need you more!" screamed Shen. "_ We _need you more. What if you had died out there? Do you want our child to grow up fatherless?"_

" _You know I do not." said Yoshi, attempting to placate her._

" _What do you think will happen after our child is born? Do you expect us both to sit at home knowing that you're out there risking your life for some archaic tradition?"_

" _Of course not!"_

 _Shen sneered. "No. You would rather our child follow in_ your _footsteps. You would train them, teach them to be a ninja like you, hone them until they are nothing but a weapon to be used at the will of the clan!"_

" _Shen…"_

" _A ninja's life is no life for our child!"_

 _She looked away from him._

" _It's bad enough I have to watch you put your life in danger like this. I will not sit by as you train our child to do the same."_

 _She rose unsteadily to her feet, shrugging off Yoshi's attempt to help her._

 _She held the door frame to keep her balance, the light of the moon casting her shadow across Yoshi's worried face._

" _Our child will love you, Yoshi, just as I love you. The question is, will you love them enough to put this life behind you when the time comes?"_

 _She stepped forward and shut the door leaving Yoshi to sit in the darkness. Alone with only the echo of her words._

* * *

Splinter continued staring at the picture of Tang Shen.

"I know that I am doing the right thing." said Splinter. "They need to be able to protect themselves. And each other. I hope that you can see this."

Even as Splinter stared at the photo, imploring it to speak back, begging it to reaffirm him and ease his troubled mind, it sat. The images frozen in time and the frame standing in resolute silence withholding whatever answer Splinter might have desired.

He sighed and cast his eyes downward, closing them as he took a deep breath.

"I am doing the right thing."

* * *

"Did you see me in there?" asked Raph. "I kicked butt!"

Raph threw out a series of punches and kicks, yelling "Hi-yah!" as much as possible while Leo and Mikey proceeded to ignore him by doing their own things as they lay scattered about the living room.

"I did better." said Leo proudly. "Daddy said you didn't have enough control."

"Nu-uh!" shouted Raph. "He said I was too powerful. I bet I'll be a ninja master in no time!"

"Donnie will be a ninja master before you." said Mikey as he worked in his coloring book, making sure to completely obliterate any semblance of the pre-drawn lines. "Daddy's been giving him extra lessons. I bet he can make fruit salad all by his-self."

"I can do that!" countered Raph. "I'm a way better ninja than he is. Watch!"

Raph ran over to one of their many coolers and grabbed a pineapple.

"What are you doing?" asked Donnie as he walked into the room, his book still clutched to his chest.

"Proving that I'm a waaay better ninja than you or anyone else." replied Raph as he pushed a chair over to the kitchen counter. He quickly climbed onto the seat and pulled out a drawer.

"Daddy says we're not supposed to touch that drawer." said Mikey as he put down his crayon.

From the drawer Raph pulled a long knife, the metal glinting in the light. He turned around.

"Put that back!" yelled Leo. "Or I'm telling Daddy!"

"Hope you're hungry, Mikey." said Raph, with a determined smile. "Cause I'm gonna make the bestest fruit salad ever! Watch!"

He tossed the pineapple in the air.

"Raph, no!"

He jumped.

* * *

" _Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"_

Splinter's ear immediately shot up.

"Raphael."

He bolted from the room.

Within seconds he arrived in the kitchen where three of his sons stood huddled around a crying Raph.

"What happened?" asked Splinter as he gently pushed them out of the way. He quickly scooped Raph up into his arms and began checking him over.

"Raph went into the no-no drawer!" tattled Leo. "And then he jumped off a chair and started crying!"

Splinter looked at his bawling son. He was clutching his wrist, and Splinter could tell just by looking at it that it was starting to swell.

"What do you mean he went into the no-no drawer?" asked Splinter, trying to rotate his son's wrist to check for damage despite his volatile protests.

"He was trying to make fruit salad." said Mikey. "Just like you. See?"

The youngest turtle pointed to the side. Splinter looked up.

And all the color dropped from his face.

There, lying on the floor, was a knife, a mere foot away from where his son had most likely fallen.

Splinter's breath quickened, his thoughts racing as horror upon horror of what could have happened flashed across his mind. His son could have _died!_ All because he was trying to imitate something Splinter himself had done.

"No more ninja training." said Splinter.

"What?!" yelled Leo.

"But, Dad—"

"No buts."

His children watched as their father slowly stood up, his eyes a million miles away.

"It was a mistake. From now on we will focus on your school work. You will have more time to play…You will be safe."

Without another word he left, a sniffling Raphael cradled in his arms as all his children, Donnie most of all, watched him from behind.

" _You were right, Shen."_ thought Splinter. _"A ninja's life in no life for them…"_

* * *

Splinter closed his book.

"That's enough for today."

His four children looked up from their schoolwork. One by one he collected their notebooks. Raph, Mikey, and Leo's notebooks were filled with line after line of letters he had made them practice. They were starting to remember which letter made which sound now, which he was thankful for.

He came to Donnie. Since he was more advanced than his brothers Splinter had made sure to adjust his schoolwork accordingly, giving him vocabulary words to practice with though he was quickly moving through those as well.

"You may now have the rest of the day to do as you wish."

Mikey raised his hand.

"Yes, Michelangelo?"

"Can we go back to ninja training now?"

Splinter took a deep breath.

"I am sorry, my son. There will be no more ninja training."

"But Raph was the one who touched the no-no drawer!" cried Leo.

"Hey!"

"Why do we get in trouble for something he did?"

Splinter knelt down, smiling.

"No one is in trouble. This is not punishment. This is me making up for my mistakes. Now, enough talk. Go outside and play. But make sure to stay close to the entrance."

Begrudgingly, his children rose from their seats and headed towards the stone arch leading out of the lair. Donnie glanced back at Splinter for just a moment before following his brothers.

Splinter sighed. They would understand. Soon the ways of the ninja would fade to memory. As it should have for him so long ago.

Slowly, he picked up a box filled with discarded wrapping paper from beside the table, and headed for the dojo. Upon the wall hung many mementos of the ninja way. Antique scrolls. Weapons. He looked over at his katana hanging on the wall.

With a somber air about him he lifted the katana down, and drew it from its scabbard, staring at his reflection in the finely honed steel.

"I suppose we are both antiques." he said with a sad smile.

He slide the blade back into the sheath and knelt down beside the box, carefully picking up a length of paper and wrapping the ages old sword.

* * *

"It's not fair!" shouted Leo as he kicked a pebble across the ground. "It's Raph's fault!"

"Is not!" yelled Raph.

"Is too!"

"The chair slipped! If it had stayed where it was s'possed to we could be eatin' fruit salad right now!"

"At least you got a cool, new glove." said Mikey, hanging from a nearby pipe.

Raph looked down at the plaster shell that currently wrapped around his wrist and across his palm.

"It's not a glove!" shouted Raph. "Daddy says it's called a cast, and it itches!" He frantically attempted to scratch it, but sadly to no avail.

"Maybe it's a good thing Daddy stop training us." said Donnie. "I mean, it did get Raph hurt, and now we have more time to play."

"But I wanna be a ninja!" cried Leo, stomping his foot on the ground.

" _Grrrrrrrrrr…"_

Leo stopped.

"What was that?" asked Mikey dropping to the ground.

" _Grrrrrrrrrrrr…"_

The four turtles turned and looked towards a dark corner of the tunnel.

At first they saw nothing. And then two bright, shining eyes slowly drifted into view.

Leo, Raph, and Donnie slowly backed up, fear clear in their eyes.

Mikey stared at the two eyes until suddenly his face lit up.

"Puppy!"

No sooner had the words been spoken then there, from the shadows, emerged a massive, black dog. Twice the size of any of the turtle children despite the fact that his enormous ribs could be seen pressing against his taunt, dirt covered skin.

Mikey cheerfully ran towards the big dog.

"No!"

Donnie grabbed his arm and jerked him back seconds before the dog SNAPPED his mighty jaws inches from where the tiny turtle had just been.

Mikey's joy quickly melted to terror as Donnie pushed him back protectively. He glanced behind him to see his other two brothers cowering before the black behemoth.

As he edged further backwards, his foot knocked against something hard. He looked down to see a thin, metal pipe lying on the ground.

A massive paw thundered against the ground in front of him.

Donnie's eyes darted rapidly around. The dog. The pipe. His frightened brothers. The dog again.

Mikey's grip tightened on Donnie's arm. His lips quivered. His eyes brimmed with tears.

" _DADDY!"_

* * *

Splinter's ears shot up.

Dropping the sword where it lay he flew from the room, his ears pivoting to find the source of his son's cry. He shot out of the lair and into the tunnels.

And his eyes widened.

In front of him sat three of his sons, cowering in fear, while Donnie lay pinned to the ground beneath a massive, black dog, a metal pipe held in his son's outstretched arms serving as the only thing keeping the dog's mighty jaws from connecting with Donnie's face.

Splinter's eyes narrowed.

Without a second's hesitation Splinter leapt at the dog. With a quick, two finger jab Splinter jammed his fingers right into the dog's side.

The dog SHOT across the tunnel like cannon fire and SLAMMED into the wall before falling crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

Splinter quickly turned to Donnie, helping him from the ground and frantically checking him over.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine." said Donnie.

"Mikey, stop!"

Splinter looked up to see Mikey standing next to the unconscious dog.

"Michelangelo! Get away from there!"

"But he has a shiny necklace on!" defended Mikey. "Look!"

Splinter slowly stood and walked over towards the dog. Sure enough a silver collar hung from his mammoth neck, and on that collar hung a single tag declaring his name to be "Fluffy" and listing his home address.

"I know he was super scary." said Mikey. "But I think that's cause he was hungry. Like how Raph gets scary when he doesn't get snack time."

"I do not!" shouted Raph.

Splinter smiled. Leave it to his youngest to go from fear to compassion the moment the danger was over.

"Can you help him?" asked Mikey, his eyes brimming with concern.

Splinter knelt down beside him. "I shall do my best."

"Daddy."

Splinter turned to see Donnie standing behind him, determination plain in his eyes.

"What is it, my son?"

"I wanna be a ninja now."

Splinter raised an eyebrow.

He turned completely to face his third youngest child.

"Donatello-"

"When the doggy was gonna eat us I was really scared." said Donnie. "But then I saw Raph and Leo and Mikey were scared too, and I remembered all the stuff you taught us about how ninja protect people. It's only 'cause you taught me how to protect them that we didn't end up doggy food before you got here."

Splinter stared, completely lost for words.

"I wanna learn how to protect people too." said Leo. "Just like how you protected us."

"Me too!" shouted Raph.

"Me _too_ too!" added Mikey.

Splinter looked down at all his children, staring up at him. Eager to learn. To follow his footsteps in the path of a ninja.

" _Shen."_

As if in response to his thought Splinter felt a warm presence gently rest upon his shoulder.

He turned his head, only to see nothing there. And yet, on some level, he knew that Shen would approve of his sons'…of their sons' new path.

He turned back to his children, a proud smile beaming across his face.

"Very well. If you are sure this is what you want—"

"We are!" shouted Leo.

"Super sure!" added Mikey.

Splinter's smile grew even wider.

"Then let your training begin!"

* * *

"Ichi. Ni. San. Ichi. Ni. San."

Splinter paced the dojo watching as all four of his children performed their kata with ample vigor.

"Watch your footing Leonardo. Raphael, keep your wrist straight. Back straight, Donatello."

Splinter stood in front of them, watching each of his children move in sync to the tapping of his cane.

Despite trying extremely hard to maintain an air of discipline, he couldn't help the smile that beamed across his face.

He turned to look at the dojo wall where hung a new shelf lined with knickknacks and momentous from his home in Japan.

And in the center of the shelf, in all its framed glory, was the picture of himself, Miwa, and Tang Shen, standing ever vigilant over their sons' training.

" _I know you're proud."_ thought Splinter, his heart brimming with love.

" _We're doing the right thing."_

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi Hi Happy People! I LOVE YOU ALL~!**

 **Okay, everyone, we've got a really long chapter here, but it was a chapter that absolutely HAD to be written. It took a lot of time to get this just right, but I knew that in a story about the turtles' childhood and Splinter's experience as a parent a chapter about the beginning of their ninja training had to happen. Especially after Season 3 Episode 20 "Tale of the Yokai" which, by the way, WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!**

 **On a more practical note, some of you may have noticed that there was a pretty big time skip between the last chapter and the current one. That's right, folks. Just as I promised way back in chapter one, we have officially begun skipping around in time! When will the next chapter be? Who knows! But just as with this one, I will let you know what age the turtles are at the beginning of the chapter…Most of the time. ;D**

 **Anyway, I would LOVE to hear what you guys think about this brand spanking new chapter. Thank you so much for reading, and, as always, have a hyper happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	5. Care to Dance?

**Care to Dance?**

 **Age:** _Sixteen_

" _Raaaaaaaaaaah!"_

"Here they go again."

Donnie sighed as he and Mikey sat on the sidelines of the dojo.

Raph and Leo rolled past them, limbs tangled as an enraged Raph did his best break Leo in two.

" _Yame!"_

Raph froze, his fist raised above Leo's head ready to pound his green face into the mat.

Splinter glared as the two boy disentangled themselves.

"Raphael, what have I told you about controlling your temper?"

"He started it!" defended Raph.

"I did not!" countered Leo. "I was merely pointing out that your footing was a little too wide."

"Stop correcting me mid-fight!"

WHACK!

"Ow!"

Raph rubbed the back of his head, a sharp pain courtesy of the business end of Splinter's cane the only thing stopping him from smearing Leo's smug little face across the room.

"That is enough training for the day." said Splinter. "Now, I suggest you reconcile your differences lest I find a more _creative_ way to do it for you."

Raph and Leo quickly bowed. They knew "creative" often meant painful and ridiculous. Last time Splinter had duct taped the two of them together and forced them go through four hundred kata in perfect sync. It was both exhausting _and_ humiliating.

"Now go." intoned Splinter.

All four turtles quickly fled the dojo.

* * *

"I don't see why you two can't just control your tempers." said Donnie as they all walked towards the living room. "Everyone knows anger is the sign of a weak mind."

Raph grabbed Donnie by the front of the shell.

"Is that so?!"

"See?" replied Donnie smugly. "Case and point."

"Dude, then your mind must be like baby weak!" replied Mikey tapping a finger on Donnie's head.

"What?!"

"He's right, you know." said Leo. "You get angry almost as much as Raph."

Raph smirked as he dropped the outraged Donnie.

"I do not!"

"Pleeease!" droned Mikey. "It's always _'Mikey, get out of my lab!' 'Mikey, don't touch my stuff!' 'Mikey, stop putting my chemicals on your pizza!'_ You yell even more than Raph does."

"That is—"

"True?" offered Leo with an innocent smile.

Donnie growled. He then took a deep breath.

"Well, the questionable validity of your statements aside, I assure you that I am fully capable of controlling my emotions."

"Right." said Raph. "I'll believe it when I see it, baby brain."

Donnie's eye twitched before shaking it off, he started back towards the living room with his brothers in toe.

"You'll see. From now on I'm going to be completely—"

" _I'd love to go!"_

Everyone stopped. They turned towards the entrance to the lair where Casey and April were standing together, April looking incredibly excited while Casey look clearly less than thrilled.

"Come on, Red. It's not—"

"Are you kidding?!" cried April. "I love dancing! I can't believe you weren't gonna ask me to go!"

The four turtles quickly stepped back, crouching so as not to be seen.

"Did Casey just ask April to a dance?" whispered Mikey.

"And apparently she said yes." replied Leo.

Donnie just sat there with a look of sheer horror.

"Come on!" said April excitedly. "There's so much to do!"

"But Red!"

April grabbed Casey's hand and dragged him from the lair.

Everyone stood up.

Donnie's eyes narrowed, his teeth bared as anger slowly bubbled to the surface.

"Feeling a little mad there, baby brain?" asked Raph with a smirk.

Donnie looked at him and then quickly took a deep breath.

"Nope." he said calmly. "I'm perfectly fine. In fact, I'm happy for them. Now, if you'll excuse me I have work to do."

Without so much as a hint of anger, Donnie walked towards the lab.

And slowly Raph's smirk melted away, his eyes quickly growing serious.

* * *

The next day Donnie sat in his lab working on his laptop with an emotionless expression.

"I am calm. Anger is illogical. To be angry is to be weak minded."

A knock sounded on his door.

Donnie turned to see Leo standing bashfully in the doorway his hands behind his back.

"Hey, Don. I…kinda need your help."

"What's wrong?"

Leo looked away.

"I was watching a new episode of Space Heroes. There was this big battle, and I was really excited and—"

"Leoooo?"

Leo blushed. Gingerly he removed his hands from behind his back revealing the TV remote snapped in half.

Donnie's eyes widened in anger. He opened his mouth to yell—

And then let out a cleansing breath.

"I'll fix it. Just be more careful."

Leo's eyes widened as he handed Donnie the remote.

"You're not mad?"

"Anger is illogical. Now, if you'll excuse me I have work."

Donnie turned back around in his chair.

"Okaaaaaaay?"

With hesitant steps Leo walked backwards from the lab.

* * *

Leo exited the lab into the living room.

He turned to the side where Raph leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, glaring at him.

Leo stared back in confusion.

"What?"

"Nothing." growled Raph as he stomped away.

Leo stared after him, twice as confused as before.

* * *

Donnie walked to the kitchen, his face devoid of all emotion.

Mikey, who was busy setting out a series of ingredient filled bowls around a rolled out pizza crust, turned to him with a huge smile.

"Hey, bro! Wanna see something awesome?!"

"I just came for tea." intoned Donnie, his voice flatter than a deflated balloon.

"Come on! It's a new method for making pizza I created. I call it…The Mikey Special."

A small smile formed at the edge of Donnie's mouth.

"Fine."

"Great! Now watch!"

With an agile hand Mikey threw a bowl of sauce into the air.

He quickly leapt up on the counter, and caught the bowl, twirling it on his finger.

He smiled at Donnie as he did so, and Donnie let out a small laugh.

Mikey then used his foot to flip up a bowl of shredded cheese, and began spinning it on his other finger. With all the elegance of Renaissance painter Mikey spread the sauce across the crust, then kicked the empty bowl across the room and into the sink.

He kicked the next bowl of ingredients onto his empty finger, twirling the new bowl as he spread the cheese across the crust. This cycle of flip, spread, kick, sink continued with bowl after bowl in a flurry of energetic movements until finally every single topping stood proudly atop the loaded crust.

Mikey leapt down from the counter as Donnie offered an unenergetic clap.

"That was very good."

"Wait till you see the best part." offered Mikey with a smile. With speedy hands Mikey picked up the loaded crust and sent it spinning hiiigh up into the air.

"Mikey!"

And then there was chaos.

As the crust twirled every single topping Mikey had placed on top of it went soaring across the room, splattering the walls, ceiling, and, most prominently, Donnie and Mikey themselves.

Donnie glared at Mikey through sauce and cheese before the pizza crust itself SLAMMED down on top of his head, covering him down to the neck in a doughy veil.

Mikey screamed in horror!

"Donnie, I am soooo sorry, bro. Let me—"

Donnie held up a hand.

He took a deep breath before reaching up and ripping a face hole through the pizza dough, his expression utterly devoid of emotion.

"It's fine. I'll go wash. You clean up the kitchen."

He stood up calmly, and slowly walked towards the restroom, the sauce still dripping down his shell.

Mikey stepped out of the kitchen to look after him.

He then turned to a different corner of the room where Raph stood watching next to a punching bag.

Mikey took a mushroom off his shoulder and shrugged at Raph before popping the mushroom in his mouth.

Raph's face turned grim as he slammed his fist into the bag.

* * *

Donnie worked at his lab table, his fingers trembling as he held a pair of small tools to a circuit board.

His brow was furrowed in concentration as he attempted to still his shaking hands, but the moment the tools touched the board they fumbled from his grasp, clattering to the ground.

A enraged look flashed across Donnie's face as he prepared to mercilessly smash the circuit board to pieces, but quickly the anger melted away to be replaced by an emotionless calm.

He looked at the calendar hanging on his wall. Blank except for one date: A single Saturday circled in red with the word "Dance" written next to it.

Donnie looked away and took several deep cleansing breaths.

A loud ringing echoed through his lab.

Donnie looked around, perplexed. He searched for a moment until he moved aside a stack of papers revealing a T-phone.

Donnie picked it up, and then took out his own T-phone.

"Whose—"

"There it is!"

Donnie turned to the entrance to his lab.

And his eyes widened.

There, standing perfectly framed in the doorway, was April, dressed in a long, blue dress with her hair done up atop her head in a bedazzling bun, two crimson ringlets cascading down either side of her face.

Donnie could only stare as April walked over to him.

"I've been looking everywhere for that. I had to borrow Mikey's to see if it was here."

She grabbed her T-phone from Donnie's grasp as he continued to gawk.

"Y-y-you look great, April." stuttered Donnie.

"Thanks." said April with a smile. "I've got big plans with Casey tonight, and I really wanted to look my best."

Donnie suppressed a wince as the icy shards of his broken heart ripped their way through his veins.

"Anyway, thanks for finding my phone! Later!" April walked out the door leaving Donnie to stare behind her.

"Later…" whispered Donnie, a longing ache chocking his voice.

His knees began to buckle beneath him.

He leaned against his lab table for support, staring hard at the wood as if somehow hoping it would rise up and consume him then and there.

"It's only logical." intoned Donnie. "She and Casey are both humans. I'm h-happy for them."

He attempted to force a smile.

Just then his T-phone buzzed.

With fumbling hands he picked it up.

It was a text message from Raph:

" _Meet me in the dojo."_

Donnie stared.

Donnie stepped into the dojo. He looked around.

"Raph?"

CLACK!

Donnie turned around as the doors slide shut behind him.

"Hey."

Donnie turned back around to see Raph leaning against the wall holding his bo staff.

"Raph, what's—"

Raph threw the bo staff to Donnie who caught it after a good bit of fumbling.

Raph drew his sais.

"We're gonna have a little sparring match, baby brains."

Donnie narrowed his eyes.

"I'm really not in the mood for—"

WHAM!

Donnie gasped as Raph RAMMED into him sending him tumbling backwards across the dojo floor.

Raph stood up and rolled his shoulders.

"Say something, baby brains?" he asked with a smirk.

Donnie stood up, gritting his teeth.

He took a cleansing breath.

"I said I'm not in the mood for- _Woah!_ "

Donnie barely had enough time to block as Raph jammed both sais right at him.

Raph continued the attack forcing Donnie to defend as he backtracked across the dojo.

"Raph, stop!"

"Or what?"

WHAM!

Raph spun around and kicked Donnie right in the side, causing him to stumble.

Donnie quickly regained his footing, his eyes narrowed.

"You know, I'm actually starting to like this new, calmer you." said Raph. "It's a lot easier to use you as a punching bag."

Donnie glared. He looked at the door.

Raph followed his gaze.

Donnie made a break for it, running as fast as he could for the exit when—

BAM!

Raph punched him square in the stomach.

Donnie gasped as the air rushed out of him.

He dropped to his knees, clutching his injured belly.

"Pft. Is that all?" asked Raph with a smirk. "It's no wonder April chose Casey over you."

Donnie looked up with a glare, his teeth bared, his breath coming faster and faster.

"Maybe I should ask April out. I'd have a way better shot than—"

" _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"_

WHAM!

Raph smiled as he blocked Donnie staff, his brainy brother panting in rage as he glared down at the slightly shorter turtle.

"Enough!"

"Why?" asked Raph. "You mad?"

Raph deflected the staff, and the two went at it, sparring with unbridled passion across the dojo, exchanging blow after blow.

"Of course I'm mad!" screamed Donnie.

"Why?!" yelled Raph back.

"Everything!"

Donnie swung his staff again and again.

"I'm mad at Leo for breaking the remote! I'm mad at Mikey for splattering me with pizza!"

He went for a leg sweep. Raph dodged.

"I'm mad at _you_ for acting like a jerk! I'm mad that Casey is currently at a dance with the girl of _my_ dreams! And most of all I'm mad because I'm just so MAD!"

WHAM!

The end of Donnie's staff SMACKED Raph straight in the jaw sending him sprawling to the floor.

Donnie stood there, panting in rage as Raph slowly sat up, rubbing his jaw. Raph smiled.

"Not bad."

Donnie continued panting before his knees gave way beneath me. He sunk to the floor as angry tears streamed down his face.

Raph knelt down beside his brother, embracing him and letting the burning tears stream across his shoulder.

After a moment of sobbing Raph leaned back, his hands still on Donnie's shoulders.

Raph smiled.

"Feeling better, baby brains?"

Donnie smiled back, wiping his nose.

"You're a jerk."

Raph laughed. The two sat there, sharing a moment of mutual understanding and comfort.

Raph then gave a sinister smirk.

"Now let's go blow off the rest of that anger."

* * *

 _BAM! BAM! BAM!_

"Take that! And that!"

Raph smiled.

In front of him Donnie was pouring every ounce of pent up rage into wailing on a punching bag with a picture Casey's face glued onto the front while Raph himself stood on the other side of the bag bracing it for his brother.

"Come on!" yelled Raph. "Dig deep! What do you hate about Casey?!"

"I hate his stupid smirk! I hate his lack of manners! I hate that he has no regard for scientific principal!"

Leo and Mikey sat nearby, sharing a bowl of popcorn as they watched the slug fest unfurl.

"Hey, guys!"

All the boys turned as April walked in looking exhausted.

"April!" cried Donnie as he quickly ripped the picture of Casey off the punching bag and hid it behind his back. "W-What are you doing here?"

April yawned.

"I'm too whipped to make it home so I thought I'd catch a quick nap here first. Is that alright?"

"S-sure!" said Donnie.

"Thanks." said April with a yawn. She walked over to the couch, and within seconds was out like a light.

"Smoooooth." commented Raph. Donnie slugged him in the shoulder.

He looked up to see Mikey rummaging through April's purse.

"Mikey!" called Donnie. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Relax, bro. I just wanna see if they took any pics from the dance."

Mikey pulled out April's T-phone and held it up victoriously.

"Come ooooon." said the orange banded turtle. "You know you wanna see."

"No. I do not." replied Donnie flatly.

Mikey scrolled through the phone.

Suddenly his eyes widened.

"Baaaaaaahahahahaaa!"

Mikey clutched his sides before dropping to the floor in laughter.

"What? What is it?" asked Leo. He picked up the fallen phone and looked.

And immediately snorted in laughter.

"Uh, Donnie." said Leo through barely suppressed chuckles. "I don't think they went to a dance."

"Huh?"

Leo extended the phone to Donnie.

"Remember how Casey said his little sister was taking ballet?"

"Yeah, but why—"

Donnie and Raph looked at the phone.

And a pair of smiles cracked clear across his faces.

All four boys laughed, clutching their sides as they stared at the phone.

For there, on the screen, was Casey, standing on a stage filled with little girls, looking miserable and dressed in a bright, pink tutu.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi hi everyone! Here's chapter five! And might I add that though it's the first to take place in the TMNT teen years it most certainly shall not be the last.**

 **You may have noticed that this chapter had a liiiiittle less Splinter than other chapters. DO NOT PANIC! There will be plenty more Splinter in the future, but since this is a story about the family as a whole I wanted to make sure we get a nice dose of everyone in the family and all those awesome family situations, including the ones when Splinter's not around.**

 **Anyway, I would love to hear what you think of this latest chapter! Thank you so much for reading, and, as always, have a hyper happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	6. Mistakes

**Mistakes**

 **Age:** _Five Years_

"Hyah!"

 _Sloppy._

"Hyah!"

 _Too loose_

Leo snickered to himself as he sat on the sidelines of the dojo.

In the center of the room Raph was demonstrating sword kata number one through three in front of Splinter. They had been training for a couple months now, and Splinter had decided that they had done well enough on the unarmed kata to be able to start some of the simple armed kata. They could only use the wooden, child-sized weapons, like the bokken Raph was using, but they were suuuuper excited about it none the less.

"Hyah!"

Leo snickered again as Raph did another swing. So far Splinter had only taught them up to sword kata number three. But Leo had a secret.

One day when he was playing in Splinter's room while his daddy was out getting groceries he had found a small book with a picture of a sword on the front. He decided to open it to see if there were any cool pictures of samurai or ninjas, but instead he found it was a book filled with kata! Not that he could read it, but there were pictures with all the steps that showed him how the kata could be done!

Leo decided right then and there that he was gonna learn the most advanced kata he could: Kata number seven! He would have gone for something even more awesome, but sadly he could only count to seven.

He had practiced for like forever in Splinter's room with the bokken. Technically, he wasn't supposed to touch the bokken OR be in Splinter's room without his permission, but the thought of impressing his daddy and showing up all his brothers was too good to pass up.

"Hyah!"

Leo grinned as Raph finished the final swing of his kata. Raph being finished meant it was Leo's turn next.

Raph turned to Splinter and bowed.

"Well done, my son." said Splinter. "Though perhaps you could try it next time with less yelling."

Raph grinned, clearly unashamed of his ferocious yells.

He turned and took his seat beside Leo on the sidelines.

"It was good." whispered Leo. "But my kata is waaaay better."

"Is not!" yelled Raph in a hushed voice.

"You've been talking about this kata forever." groaned Donnie.

Leo turned away in a huff.

"You're just jealous."

"I think it's gonna be awesome!" said Mikey.

Leo grinned at Mikey. His other brothers might be grumpy grump faces, but Mikey was always there to cheer him on.

"Trust me." said Leo. "It's gonna be the awesomest kata ever!"

Donnie groaned again while Raph stuck his tongue out at Leo.

"Leonardo." called Splinter. "It's your turn."

Leo smiled at Mikey once more before standing and walking proudly over to where Splinter sat.

When Leo got there, Splinter handed him the bokken.

"Please demonstrate kata—"

Leo's hand shot up in the air.

Splinter looked at him quizzically.

"Yeees?"

"I wanna do kata number seven."

Splinter raised an eyebrow.

"We have not gone over—"

"I learned it myself." said Leo, his chin jutting out in confidence.

Splinter questioned for a moment how his son had learned a kata he hadn't been taught, but decided to play along for the moment.

"Very well."

Leo bowed, the broad grin plain on his face.

He quickly walked to the center of the dojo, making sure to use his best ninja master walk.

As he took his position he glanced over at his brothers on the sidelines. Raph and Donnie were both glaring, but Mikey sat in obvious anticipation of the event to come.

"You can do it, Leo!" cheered Mikey.

Leo did his best to maintain his noble warrior façade despite the grin threatening to break through his mask.

He grabbed the handle of the sword.

" _Three steps forward, then make the first swing."_ He repeated to himself.

He took a step.

One.

Two.

On the third step he prepared to swing the bokken and blow away his brothers with his awesome swordsmanship.

And failed miserably.

The moment he went to take his third step he accidentally tripped over his own feet.

He tipped forward just as he started to swing the sword.

"Woah!"

As Leo fell, the bokken flew forward right out of his hands!

It SHOT across the dojo and straight through the paper doors of Splinter's room.

CRASH! BAM! BOOM!

Splinter winced at the sound of his possessions shattering again the unseen sword.

" _There goes my new vase."_ thought Splinter.

"Baaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaa!"

Splinter turned back towards his children to see Raph and Donnie laughing their heads off as Leo lay in the center of the dojo, his butt poked up in the air as his face, chin against the floor, burned with embarrassment.

"Yame!"

Raph and Donnie suppressed their snickers as Leo slowly pushed himself off the floor.

Splinter walked over to Leo and checked him over.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, sensei." said Leo, his eyes looking anywhere but at Splinter.

Splinter smiled at him.

"Perhaps that kata was a bit too advanced."

Leo looked down, the red in his cheeks burning brighter than ever.

"Hai."

* * *

As soon as lessons were done, Leo hurried from the dojo, his face downcast and covered in shame.

Before he could get more than two steps out the door Raph and Donnie were on either side of him, broad grins upon their faces.

"You shoulda seen the look on your face!" laughed Raph.

Leo looked away.

"Dr. Caterpillar says, 'They who like to brag and boast, of humble pie will eat the most.'" intoned Donnie with a smile.

"Then Leo should eat a gazillion humble pies!"

Donnie and Raph laughed as they ran off leaving Leo behind.

As Leo stood staring at the ground Mikey walked up beside him, a big smile across his face.

"Don't listen to them. I thought your kata was awesome!"

"No, it wasn't!"

Mikey stepped back as Leo turned to face him, his face filled with anger.

"It was the worst mistake in the history of forever! I'm never doing sword kata again!"

Leo turned and ran away leaving Mikey to stare after him.

* * *

Splinter sat in front of Raph and Donnie watching them as they played a game of checkers. The board itself was in pretty rough shape since it had been salvaged from the dump, but they had most of the checker pieces and what they didn't have Splinter had replaced with painted rocks.

Donnie moved his piece forward.

"King me!" shouted Donnie.

Raph growled.

On the other side of the room sat Leo, hugging his knees to his chest in the corner.

Mikey walked over to him holding a kendama. It was a wooden, Japanese toy similar to a type of paddle ball that Splinter had played with when he was a child. The device had three cups of different sizes and a spike on it, and the object of the game was to get the ball to either land in one of the cups or on top of the spike. So far, none of the boys were very good at it, but they all gave it their best regardless.

"What cha doing?" asked Mikey.

"Sitting." replied Leo, clearly not in the mood to talk.

"That's boring! Come play kendama!"

"I don't wanna."

"Pleeeaaase?" begged Mikey. "You're the only one who can get the ball in the middle cup."

Leo smiled, though just a little.

He stood up and grabbed the kendama from Mikey.

"Yaaaaay!" shouted Mikey as he sat down to watch his brother play.

Leo swung the paddle causing the ball to arc up in the air. It fell and bounced off the edge of the medium sized cup.

Miss.

Leo frowned.

He swung the paddle again.

Miss.

Leo's eyes grew more frustrated.

He tried again and again and again, but no matter what he did the ball wouldn't go in! Not even when he tried it on the big cup!

"Uuuuugh!"

Leo threw down the kendama.

Everyone in the room stared as Leo turned and ran off.

Splinter stood up as he looked after Leo.

He turned to his other children.

"Continue your games. I'll be right back."

He walked off after his son while the three boys stared.

Donnie turned back to the checker board.

He moved a piece.

"King me!"

Raph glared at him as he flipped the board, scattering the pieces.

* * *

Splinter walked into Leo's room. It was a simple space with a layout much the same as the rooms of his other sons. An old, salvaged mattress in the corner. A few broken toys scattered across the floor. And a tattered, blue blanket underneath which his eldest son was currently hiding.

Splinter looked at the lump of cloth that housed his son with sad eyes.

He walked over and sat down on the mattress beside the lump.

"Leonardo?"

"Leo's not here."

Splinter smiled.

"Then who exactly _is_ here?"

A sniff sounded from beneath the covers.

"A big screw-up."

Splinter's smile wavered, but he managed to hold it none the less.

With gentle hands he reached over and lifted the covers revealing Leo, hugging his knees as a trail of moisture glistened across his cheeks.

"It seems I have been lied to." said Splinter. "All I see is my strong, kind hearted son."

Leo looked away, avoiding Splinter's eyes.

"I messed up." said Leo. "Again! I'm the biggest screw up ever."

Splinter sighed. He knew how hard failure was for his eldest, though this was definitely the first time he had seen him take it this hard.

"Michelangelo doesn't seem to think you're a screw up." reminded Splinter.

"That's the worst part!" screamed Leo, turning to full on face his shocked father. "I'm supposed to be his awesome big brother, but I can't even do that right!"

Leo sniffed.

"He should just go find a new big brother."

Splinter stared at him, struggling to find the right words.

"This is dumb!"

Both heads snapped towards the doorway where Mikey stood, his fists balled and anger plain across his face.

He pointed at Leo.

"You're dumb! Stop being dumb!"

The little turtled turned and ran off leaving Splinter and Leo to look after him.

Slowly, Leo's face scrunched up as fresh tears streamed from his eyes.

Before Splinter could so much as say a word, the eldest turtle pulled the blankets back over his head, retreating once again into his self-made fortress of solitude.

Splinter sighed as he pulled the blanket covered Leo into a soft hug. This was going to be a loooong day.

* * *

"Kata number one through three."

Leo bowed to Splinter, a jo staff in his hands.

Splinter attempted to focus on Leo's movements as he demonstrated jo staff kata number one. He had spent a good portion of the previous day attempting to console his son, but no matter what he said Leo refused to be comforted. Eventually Leo had fallen asleep in his arms leaving Splinter with his next problem.

The rat sensei turned his eyes away from Leo towards his youngest son. Mikey was currently sitting on the other side of the room, his face a tiny storm cloud of anger. Every attempt to find the source of his son's raging emotions had ended the exact same.

" _Because Leo's dumb! That's why!"_

The repeated comment had helped nothing. Leo was mad at himself, Mikey was mad at Leo, and Splinter was being _driven_ mad because neither of his sons were cooperating! He briefly wondered if his daughter would have been so emotionally exhausting at this age, though he was quick to answer himself _"Yes."_

Leo turned to him and bowed as he finished the last of the jo kata.

"Very well done, Leo." said Splinter.

Leo didn't reply. He simply bowed again before handing off the jo staff and taking his seat.

"Michelangelo, please step forward."

Mikey looked angrily at Leo for a moment before getting up and walking to the center of the room.

"Please demonstrate—"

Mikey's hand shot up in the air.

Splinter raised an eyebrow.

"I wanna do sword kata number seven." proclaimed the youngest turtle.

All eyes in the room went wide, especially Leo's.

Splinter hesitated. How were his children learning all these kata without him?

"I'm not certain that's the best…"

Splinter drifted off as he stared into his son's determined eyes. He could tell just by looking at him that there wasn't a single thing he could say outside of flat out denial that would change his son's mind.

Hoping this would somehow ease his son's anger, Splinter sighed in defeat.

"Very well."

Mikey smiled. He ran over to the side of the room and grabbed a bokken off the side of the wrack.

"No running." called Splinter as the little turtle sprinted back towards the middle of the room.

Mikey slowed down just a little before taking his place in the middle of the room.

All eyes were on him as he put his hands into position along the hilt.

He stepped forward.

Reeled back his arms.

"Hyah!"

And FLUNG the child-sized sword across the room with all his might!

The bokken went whirling straight across the dojo and RIPPED right through the paper doors to Splinter's room just inches above where Leo's bokken had flown the day before.

CRASH! BAM! BOOM!

For the second time in two days Splinter winced, the unmistakable sound of his _new_ new vase meeting a fatal end echoing through the air.

He turned an angry glare on his youngest son who stood unashamed in the center of the dojo.

"Michelangelo! What is the meaning of this?!"

"Did I make a mistake?" asked Mikey flat out.

"Of course you made a mistake!"

"Do you still love me?"

Splinter reeled back in shock. Clearly, this was _not_ the response he had expected.

As Splinter's brain tried to process the question, his eye drifted to where his eldest son sat on the side of the room, his eyes wide as he awaited the sensei's response.

Slowly, a smile spread across Splinter's face as all his anger vanished into smoke.

With gliding steps he crossed the room to his youngest son.

Wrapped him in his arms.

And gave him a biiiiig kiss right on top of his little green head.

Splinter looked down into his youngest sons eyes as he ran a finger across his cheek.

"More than you will ever know."

Mikey grinned.

He quickly wiggled his way out of Splinter's arms and dashed over to where Leo sat with big, watchful eyes.

Mikey held out one finger and pressed it on Leo's nose.

"Now, stop being dumb."

Leo looked up at Mikey as the slightest hint of moisture formed in the eldest turtle's eyes. He quickly wiped his eyes dry before looking back up at his grinning brother.

The two clasped hands.

* * *

 **Age:** _Sixteen_

BOOM!

An explosion ROCKED the lab causing a giant cloud of purple smoke to rush past the iron doors.

" _Mikey!"_

A panicked Mikey BURST out of the cloud of smoke, fleeing for his life as a soot covered Raph and Donnie followed close behind.

"Get back here!" shouted Donnie.

"I'm sorry, bros! It was an accident! Aaaaah!"

As the three turtles sprinted across the lair, Leo watched from the side of the room, shaking his head as his twin katana hung dutifully from his back.

Master Splinter walked up beside him.

"Just once I wish he'd _think_ before he messes stuff up." said Leo.

Splinter stroked his beard.

"It's true that your brother has quite a talent for getting into trouble."

Splinter smiled slyly at Leo.

"But you still love him, right?"

Leo turned to Splinter in shock!

And then turned back with a smile as he watched Mikey dash across the lair.

"More than he will ever know."

* * *

 **Author's Note** : **Hurray! Chapter six is here at last! I have to say this was another chapter that took a LOT of research. Not for most of the content, but because when I was writing the scene in Leo's room I realized that I didn't know if the lair was structured in such a way that the turtles could have had their own rooms at age five! Like, were these rooms already there or did they have to be built later on? Would the turtles have had to share one big room until they started doing construction? And where are the bathrooms?!**

 **After HOURS of research I eventually I found several maps and photos that helped me realize how everything was laid out, and that the turtles would, indeed, have had their own rooms at around age five. At least I assume since the four rooms they sleep in were already built into the abandoned subway relay station that eventually became the lair. Fun fact! They were probably storage spaces given their size and relation to everything else around them.**

 **If you personally would like more information about how the lair is laid out I've posted links on my profile page that (if you can see them) lead to all my current resources including a hand drawn map and reference photos to confirm that the map is accurate! And if you can't see them just message me, and I shall do my best to help you with all your layout needs. YAY RESEARCH!**

 **And finally (WOW, this is a long Author's note) my Momma's birthday is coming up soon so I'm planning a very SPECIAL surprise for the next chapter to celebrate the bestest Momma ever! She doesn't read this, but I enjoy celebrating her nonetheless!**

 **Anyway, I would love to hear what you guys think of this latest chapter! Thank you guys so much for reading, and, as always, have a hyper happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	7. Unnamed

**?**

Dark. Quiet.

A flash of lightening lit the small room as thunder BOOMED outside the window.

A glint of steel.

Slowly the room returned to darkness as the thunder rumbled to silence.

Another flash!

No. Not a glint of steel.

A man. Dressed in an entire suit of steel.

The Shredder.

As shadows played across his armor he sat in the middle of his meditation room. His eyes closed in deep concentration.

"Daddy?"

His eyes shot open.

Behind him a dark haired little girl stood in the doorway, her eyes filled with fear.

"Enter…Karai."

Lightening CRAHSED outside the window.

 **Age:** _Five years old_

Karai ran across the room, her tiny feet patting against the floor as she flew to her daddy's armor clad lap.

Shredder opened his arms as she slid into his grasp and clung to his chest.

"What is wrong, my daughter?"

Karai looked up at him.

"There's a monster in my room."

Shredder smiled beneath his iron faceplate.

"Is that so?"

Karai nodded.

Shredder laughed.

"Then let us go slay this monster."

Slowly, Karai smiled.

* * *

Footsteps echoed through the halls as Shredder led his daughter back to her room. Shredder's home was a large place. In the five years since he had slain Hamato Yoshi he had slaved through sweet, blood, and tears to build his new empire. It was small now, but one day it would become the greatest in all of Japan.

But there were…complications.

Before his daughter had intruded upon his meditation Shredder had been pondering all that had happened since the fall of the Hamato clan. With no Hamato ninjas to act as vigilante police, crime had risen all across Japan.

The Silver Serpents, a gang which the Hamatos had previously almost wiped out, had quickly risen back to power. And even more troubling, new gangs, syndicates, and criminal organizations had begun springing up like vile weeds across the land.

Shredder had expected that with the Hamato Clan gone there would be nothing to stop the Foot Clan's total domination of Japan's criminal underworld! But with all the competition, his plans had been extremely hampered.

It didn't matter though. Soon, all would bow before him.

Very very soon.

They arrived at Karai's room. Shredder slid the door open and stepped inside.

He stood in the doorway for a moment observing the room as lightening flashed outside the window.

Shredder had spared no expense in giving his daughter the very best. A large bed covered in jet black, silk sheets took up the center of the room while art work depicting great ninjas covered the walls.

Almost all Karai's toys, of which there were many, were dutifully locked away in a wooden chest at the side of the room decorated with golden dragons while her clothes were hung neatly behind the closed cherry wood doors of her walk in closet.

It was a sleek, streamlined place that portrayed little of the warmth and color one would expect from a child's room. The only sign that this room did indeed belong to a little girl was a stuffed fox toy which lay upon Karai's pillow smiling up at a mural on the ceiling depicting a traditional Japanese festival in traditional Japanese style.

Was it every little kid's dream room? Probably not. But Shredder had a certain aesthetic taste, and over time Karai had grown to love her dark, rigidly disciplined room just as much as her father.

Karai peeked around the side of the door into her room.

"Is the monster still there?" she asked with trembling voice.

Shredder looked down at her, a warm smile plain in his eyes.

"Come, Karai. It's time for bed."

Laying a gentle hand upon his daughter's back, Shredder led her across the room's plush, black and white carpet and lifted her into bed.

"Let me tell you a story." said Shredder sitting on the bed as he drew the covers across her tiny form.

"A story?" asked Karai, the fear somewhat dissipating in the wake of her newfound curiosity.

Shredder nodded.

"Once upon a time there was a great kunoichi named Karai."

"Just like me!" exclaimed Karai.

Shredder laughed.

"Just like you. This great kunoichi traveled the land defeating anyone who stood in her way. She was loved by her father, a mighty warlord, and feared by all her enemies.

One day however her father sent her on a mission to the distant mountains. She was to obtain a great treasure known as the serpent's sword. For days she hiked through enemy lands, battling hordes of ninja and laying them all low.

She arrived at the mountains, great black cliffs whose tops sparkled with soft, white snow. She climbed to the top of the mountain, and there saw the sword, resting beneath a giant tree covered in pink blossoms.

She went to grab the blade when suddenly a fearsome monster _leapt out_!"

Karai gasped and ducked beneath her covers.

"It was a great beast with a ferocious looking face and razor sharp claws. Truly a monster if ever there was one."

Karai peaked out from beneath her covers.

"What happened next?" she asked curiously.

Shredder smiled at her as he stroked his hand across her soft, raven hair.

And then SHOT up from the bed, across the room where he SLAMMED his metal clad hand right through Karai's closet doors!

With a mighty heave he jerked his fist back through the door, and with it came a humanoid form dressed in a silver robe.

Shredder threw the figure to the ground as splintered wood rained across the room.

Karai SCREAMED!

The figure looked up revealing a ferocious mask in the shape of a hissing snake's face.

Their hands whipped out of their silver sleeves revealing a set of metal claws on their knuckles.

They leapt at Shredder, ready to finish him then and there, but with two swift movements Shredder grabbed the figure's head, SLAMMED it against the wall, and then threw them back to the ground.

The figure started to get up, their hand going to a short sword strapped to their side, but Shredder SLAMMED his knee down on top of their chest and leveled a single, razor tipped gauntlet straight at their face.

He leaned in close, the figure's serpent-like mask reflected in the gleaming metal of Shredder's own helmet.

"Tell the Silver Serpents that if they _ever_ try to come after my daughter again, I will personally separate every single one of their heads from their shoulders."

With that he grabbed the front of the figure's robe, and, spinning them only once, HURLED them across the room and straight through the window!

The music of broken glass danced across the room.

And then there was silence.

Karai slowly peaked out from beneath the covers.

Before her was her father, standing triumphantly in the middle of the room as lightening flashed across his imposing form, the masked warrior's short sword clutched in his razor tipped fist.

Two Foot Clan ninja rushed into the room.

"Master, we heard noise. What—"

Shredder held up a hand for silence.

"Double security. And I want this window permanently sealed shut before sunrise."

The two foot ninja bowed before running off to fulfill their tasks.

Shredder turned to his daughter and handed her the serpent warrior's short sword.

"Let this be a lesson to you, Karai. We do not fear monsters. We find them…and crush them."

Karai took the sword gingerly in her hands.

Shredder lifted his daughter up into his arms.

"Come. Tonight we shall sleep in my room."

Karai stared for a moment before a smile formed across her face.

She nodded.

As Shredder walked down the halls with his beloved daughter in his arms, Karai leaned against his strong chest and clutched the sword like a teddy bear as she closed her eyed.

"Find them…and crush them." she repeated, her voice fading as she gently drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 **Author's Note: HYPER HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE~! And, even more awesomely, HYPER** _ **ULTRA**_ **HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY TOTALLY AWESOME MOMMA~!**

 **(Disclaimer: Today is not really my Momma's birthday, buuuut it either was or will be in a time frame no more than three months from the posting of this chapter. Remember kids, revealing your actual birthday online is just not safe.)**

 **Aaaaanyway, legal stuff aside, I present the promised SURPRISE chapter that I mentioned during the last Author's note! YAAAAY~! I know this is normally a Turtles-centric story, but in honor of both Halloween and my Momma's birthday it felt like it would be totally AWESOME to spice things up with a spooktastic chapter centered around the Turtle-verse's most dangerous kunoichi! And hence the first Karai chapter was born!**

 **It was actually ultra-fun getting to explore the Shredder/Karai family dynamic. Like, I've several stories that explore the Turtles' childhood (WHICH I LOVE), but I've never actually seen stories exploring Karai's childhood. Go figure.**

 **But enough of that. I had sooooo much fun writing this, and I hope you had just as much if not MORE fun reading it! Let me know what you think of this latest chapter. Thank you so hyper much for reading, and HYPER HAPPY HALLOWEEN! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	8. Scaredy Shell

**Scaredy Shell**

 **Age:** _Five Years_

"Donatello, put that down! Raphael, stop chasing Leonardo! Michelangelo, that is not food!"

Splinter heaved a great sigh as he slumped down on a stool, exhausted.

In front of him all four of his children were rampaging across their home invested in nothing less than pure, unadulterated chaos. He glanced at the clock.

 _1:30am_.

Splinter grooaaaned. What was he going to do? He had put them all to bed three times already and as much as he threatened, yelled, and occasionally begged they just would not go to sleep.

As he sat there amidst the chaos he thought back to when he was little and did the same thing. Of course he had only ever done so once. His father had made sure of that by threatening him with the—

Splinter's eyes shot open. A smile quickly spread across his face.

"Yame!"

The children all stopped what they were doing and looked at their sensei/father.

"Gather round, my sons. I have a story to tell you."

Four little turtle faces lit up. They quickly dropped whatever they were doing and ran to their daddy, taking up their standard story time positions.

"What's the story about?" asked Donnie.

"Is it the one about the dragon and the samurai?! Hyah! Hyah!" asked Raph making samurai sword motions in the air.

"No, my sons. This is a different kind of story. It is the tale of a _monster_ called the Kuro Kabuto."

His children stared at him with wide eyes.

"M-monster?" asked Mikey, already edging slightly behind Leo's shell.

"Yes, a terrible, horrible monster. The Kuro Kabuto is a giant black beetle with razor claws and a mouth filled with teeth as sharp as kunai."

The children huddled closer together.

"He is vicious and mean, and he only eats one thing."

"W-what thing?" asked Mikey, trembling before the rat master.

Splinter smiled.

"Little children."

"Aaaaaaaaaah!"

Mikey JERKED his head and limbs back into his shell so fast that the limbless shell actually spun for a moment before settling down on the ground with the terrified turtle locked inside.

"I-Is he gonna eat us?" asked Donnie.

"Oh, no." said Splinter. "The Kuro Kabuto only eats children who disobey their fathers. But you would never do that, would you?"

Three little turtles shook their heads rapidly, much to their sensei's satisfaction.

"Good. Now go to bed. Lest the Kuro Kabuto stop by…for a snack."

As fast as lightening, the turtles shot from the living room, each vying for their respective rooms like green jackrabbits. Splinter chuckled. When his father had told him that story he had run to his room so fast that he plowed face first through the rice paper door. Sure, he had nightmares for weeks, but he behaved, just as his father had intended.

Splinter was just about to head for his own room when he noticed Mikey's shell lying unmoved upon the living room floor. He knelt down and knocked on the shell.

"Michelangelo." he called softly. "It's time for bed."

"I'm not coming out!" called the tinniest turtle from inside the safety of his shell.

Splinter's brow furrowed. "And why not?"

"Because if I do the Kuro Kabuto will eat me!"

Splinter sighed. "He will not eat you if you simply go to bed."

"No! I'm never coming out again!"

Splinter pinched the bridge of his nose. It was far too late for this.

"Very well."

With all the gingerness of a mother bird Splinter lifted the shell off the ground and gently carried it to Mikey's room. He sat Mikey down on the bed and pulled the covers over him.

"Good night, Michelangelo."

Silence.

"Michelangelo?"

"Night night, Daddy!"

Splinter stood in the doorway for a moment staring at the withdrawn form of his son, his shell the only thing still visible to the naked eye.

Splinter hesitated for a moment before shaking it off. This would pass. After all, this was Mikey! His hyperactive, overly-energetic, couldn't sit still for five seconds son. By morning he would be up and running about their home like his usual self.

* * *

He was wrong.

The next morning Splinter stood in the doorway of his son's room staring at the unmoved shell sitting on Mikey's bed in the exact same position as he had left it.

"Michelangelo?" called Splinter cautiously as he hesitantly stepped towards the shell.

"Morning, Daddy." called Mikey from inside.

Splinter sighed with relief. Despite what he knew of turtle biology there was still a small part of him that worried Mikey had managed to defy science and slipped out of his shell during the night. Splinter had enough trouble getting the fidgeting child into his winter coat. Getting him back into his own shell would have been a nightmare.

Just as quickly as he dismissed his slightly silly worry new, more pressing worries quickly cropped up. Splinter sat down beside Mikey on the bed.

"Have you been in there all night?" asked Splinter.

"Yep. It's really warm."

"Be that as it may, it is breakfast time. Now, come out and go wash your face."

"No! The Kuro Kabuto will eat me!"

"Michelangelo, come out this instant."

"No!"

Splinter growled. He lifted the tiny shell and twisted it around in his arms, searching for some way he could pry out the terrapin locked inside. He turned it around so he could see inside the head hole where two, baby blue eyes stared back at him.

"Hi, Daddy."

Splinter glared. He tucked the shell under his arm and walked out of the room, marching with complete determination to the kitchen.

When he arrive his three other children were already seated at the table, washed and clean _as they should be._

Without a word Splinter plopped the Mikey shell down in Mikey's seat and angrily went over to the pot of porridge he had boiling over a small, enclosed fire.

The other children stared at the shell.

"Mikey?"

"Hi, Leo."

"What cha ya doin' in there?" asked Raph.

"Your brother refuses to come out of his shell." said Splinter as he angrily stirred the pot.

"I'm hiding from the Kuro Kabuto." explained Mikey.

"That's silly." said Donnie. "The Kuro Kabuto could find you in your shell."

"Could not!"

"He's just being a big scaredy shell." teased Raph. "Little baby Mikey afraid to come out of his shell!"

Raph's laughter rang through the kitchen. Normally, Splinter would have reprimanded his son for teasing his brother, but part of him hoped a little prompting from his siblings would finally get Mikey to put this ridiculous behavior behind him.

"Shut up!" shouted Mikey. "You'll be sorry when the Kuro Kabuto eats your heads off."

The kitchen went silent as the brothers pondered Mikey's words.

Leo turned to Splinter.

"Can I hide in my shell?"

"No!"

* * *

Splinter sat in a meditation pose as he watching his sons play in the living room. Leo and Raph were playing with some old toys cars that Splinter had found, and Donatello was drawing.

And where was Mikey?

"That should be blue." said Mikey.

"Like this?" asked Donnie.

"Yep. And then that should be purple!"

Splinter took a deep breath, calming himself. He had thought that play time would lure Mikey out of his shell, but, lo and behold, the child proved more stubborn than even Splinter could have imagined. Instead of coming out to play the little turtle now sat beside Donnie directing him on how to color a picture of…something. To be honest, he wasn't quite sure. Mikey's drawings always tended to be a bit more…abstract than his brothers even when they were being done by someone else.

At first Splinter had been angry at his son's defiant attitude, but now his anger was gradually shifting to worry. What if his son never came out? What if he stayed inside so long he got stuck? Could turtles get stuck in their own shell?

Leo ran over to Mikey.

"Hey, Mikey! Come play cars with us!"

"No thanks." came Mikey's reply.

"Come on! You can't stay in there forever!"

"Can too!"

"But what if you have to go to the bathroom?"

"…"

"…"

"…DADDY!"

* * *

Splinter stood outside the bathroom with his arms crossed, impatiently waiting for his son.

"Michelan—"

"Not done!"

Splinter groaned.

* * *

A deep sigh slide through Splinter's lips as he carried Mikey back into his room. This whole thing had gone completely out of control. It was time to end it before things got even worse…or before Mikey had to use the bathroom again. Really, they were pretty much the same thing.

Splinter sat down on Mikey's bed with the turtle shell set gently in his lap.

"Michelangelo. I have a confession."

"What's a confes-son?"

"It means I want to tell the truth."

"Ooooh."

Splinter took a deep breath.

"The truth is…there is no such thing as the Kuro Kabuto."

"Yes, there is! You said so!"

"The Kuro Kabuto is just a story. You have no need to be afraid."

"But what if that's just what he wants you to think!"

"Michelangelo-"

"No! I won't let it eat me!"

Splinter leaned back in shock as the shell bounced in his lap. Before he knew what was happening the shell leaped off his lap and rolled right out the door.

Splinter stared after him for a moment.

" _I…did not know he could do that."_ He admitted to himself.

* * *

Splinter walked through the lair, his head down in deep thought. He just didn't know where he had gone wrong. The story never had this type of effect on him when he was little. Sure, he trembled in fear whenever his father threatened him with the monster. And yes, he would spend nights hidden beneath his blankets, afraid that the monster would eat him while he slept. Not that the blankets would have done any good against a…

Splinter stopped, a sudden realization donning upon him.

The blankets. When he was little he had used the blankets on his bed as a shield against the monster. He would pull them around himself and create a fortress so the monster couldn't get to him. And now Mikey was doing the same thing, only his fortress was solid and completely attached to him. And unlike Splinter's own father, Splinter himself couldn't just snatch Mikey's fortress away and force him to brave the day.

As Splinter dwelled upon this new revelation he wandered into the living room where three of his children were huddled together.

"What are you doing, my sons?"

The three kids looked up.

"We're trying to figure out a way to get Mikey out of his shell." explained Donnie.

"It's no fun when he doesn't play with us!" exclaimed Leo.

Splinter looked at Raph, who was averting his eyes.

"Do you miss your brother too, Raphael?"

"No!" shouted Raph. "I just want him to stop being stupid!"

Splinter chuckled.

"And what have you three come up with?"

"Not much." explained Donnie. "So far all we've done is draw a picture of Mikey in his shell."

Donnie lifted up the picture which was a surprisingly good drawing.

"Raph did most of the work on it."

"Shut up!"

Splinter stared at it for a long moment, admiring the five year olds' work.

Suddenly, an idea flashed into his mind.

He smiled.

"I think I have an idea how we can get Mikey to come outside." He said, kneeling down to his children. "Would you like to help me?"

The children all broke into broad grins.

* * *

Splinter carried Mikey's shell through the lair. He had found him hidden behind the bath tub. The fact that he managed to get into such a position without coming out of his shell was extremely impressive.

"Where are we going?" asked Mikey, baby blue eyes peering up at his father from the dark of his shell.

"You'll see." replied Splinter, a smile in his voice.

The two arrived in the living room.

"We're here."

Gently, Splinter turned the shell around so Mikey could see into the living room.

"Woooooaaaaaah."

His eyes sparkled with wonder.

In the middle of the living room was a fortress of blankets, pillows, and furniture all constructed and painted to look like—

"It's a shell!" said Mikey.

And indeed it was. The outside of the fortress was composed of blankets painted to look exactly like Mikey's shell. If his shell were drawn by five-year-olds that is.

"Shall we go inside?" asked Splinter, moving before waiting for an answer.

The blankets parted revealing the interior of the shell.

"Hi, Mikey!" said Leo.

Three cheerful faces looked up as Splinter and Mikey walked inside, the blanket swinging closed behind him.

"What is this?" asked Mikey, his eyes moving from side to side as he tried to take in as much of the fort as possible from the opening in his shell.

"We figured that if we couldn't get you to come outside your shell." said Leo.

"That we would come inside your shell with you." finished Donnie.

"But since we couldn't do that Daddy helped us build a bigger shell that we could all fit in." added Raph.

Mikey was silent for a moment.

Slowly, four yellow-green limbs stretched out from inside the shell, followed soon after by a small little head.

Splinter smiled.

"Theeeere's my son." he said, turning Mikey around so he could give the tiny turtle a proper hug. The other three turtles scooted over to join in hugging their youngest sibling.

Mikey looked at them all, surrounding him on all sides.

He looked up at Splinter.

"Daddy."

"Yes, Michelangelo?"

"I don't need this shell anymore."

"Nooooo?" asked Splinter with a smile.

Mikey shook his head.

"No. Cause you guys are my shell. Even if the Kuro Kabuto showed up I'd have you guys to keep me safe."

A warm fire lit up the inside of Splinter's chest. He looked down as three of his children cuddled protectively around their younger brother, and sure enough they formed a perfect shell.

"We can all be each other's shells." said Donnie.

"Yeah! That way we never have to be scared." added Leo.

Splinter laughed as he wrapped his long arms around all four of his children.

"And I shall be the biggest shell of all!"

The four turtles all giggled as they squirmed in Splinter's embrace.

"Hey!"

"You're squishing us!"

"The Kuro Kabuto's gonna get you!"

The lair echoed with the sounds of laughter as inside the fortress the five family members basked in the warmth and safety of their family shell.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi hi Everyone! HAPPY BELATED THANKSGIVING! I hope you all had a hyper fun time! I know I did!**

 **Here's the latest chapter of Adventures in Parenting, which as you may have noticed, is a bit of a continuation of the theme from the last chapter. I have to say I absolutely LOVED this concept and had soooo much fun writing it! I would love to hear what you all thought of this latest chapter! Thank you so hyper much for reading, and, as always, have a hyper happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	9. The Dragon Prince

**The Dragon Prince**

 **Age:** _Seven years_

" _ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!"_

"Crash, bash went the dragon, as he crashed and bashed all across the kingdom."

" _ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!"_

Splinter watched with mild amusement as his four sons paraded around the living room in colorful, if not somewhat shoddy, costumes.

"Have at you, dragon!"

" _ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!"_

Today was Story Day. A day when his sons would work together to put on what he had lovingly deemed "The Play." It had started when he was trying to teach his children about theater and get them into some more creative projects in addition to their ninjitsu training and regular schoolwork. The very first time they had done it they came up with a play that was pretty much a blatant rip off of a fairy tale he had read them. Not very original, but to be fair he didn't exactly expect Shakespeare at seven.

What was truly unexpected, however, came next Story Day when instead of coming up with a new story like he had requested they performed the same play again. And again. And again. For every Story Day since the first over and over without fail. He knew for a fact that his children were more than capable of coming up with new, original stories. Michelangelo alone seemed to come up with twenty a day. But for some reason when it came to actually _performing_ the variety in their repertoire was extremely lacking.

Splinter shook his head slightly, trying to focus on the show lest his children catch him daydreaming. In front of him each of his children was dressed in the same costumes they had created for the very first Story Day.

First there was Leo, who played the narrator. He stood off to the side with a bed sheet robe narrating the story while his brothers acted out the parts. It was the least active role, but for some reason Leo seemed to enjoy telling his brothers what to do more than doing the actions himself.

"Get 'em Donnie!"

Next there was Mikey, wearing a cardboard crown to signify his role as the king. It was a role that only really came in at the beginning and end of the show. He had the least amount of lines to memorize which meant he spent the majority of the show sitting on his "throne" and waving his wooden spoon scepter as he cheered his other brothers on.

"You shall never defeat the Prince of Sewer-land!"

Donnie was the star of the show, aka the prince. Dressed in tin can armor, he fought valiantly, if not melodramatically, to save the princess, a red-haired doll they had found in the sewer one day after a rainstorm. Mikey had originally laid claim to the toy, but ever since the doll started playing the princess Donnie seemed to always find a way to convince Mikey to let him play with her instead. Most often through a bartering system of crayons and shiny objects that Splinter had yet to truly decipher.

And that just left one role.

" _ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!"_

The dragon, aka Raphael. Donning a menacing finger-painted face (which was a pain to clean off), Raph rampaged across the stage, fighting with Donnie to keep him from the princess and roaring as if each bellow was the epitome of triumph.

"The evil dragon spit fire at the prince." narrated Leo.

Raph spit at Donnie.

"Ewwww! Raph, no spitting!"

"Leo said to!" defended Raph, though he was clearly smiling.

"Get back to the fighting!" shouted Mikey.

Leo nodded. "The prince avoided the fire, and with one swing of his katana he slew the big, mean dragon!"

Donnie pulled out one of their wooden practice swords and stabbed Raph through the armpit. Raph ROOOOAAARED in despair, remarkably his loudest one yet, before falling to the ground dead.

"The evil dragon died, and the brave knight saved the princess."

Donnie confidently strutted over to the doll sitting atop her trashcan tower and took her in hand before bringing her back over to Mikey.

"Noble king, I have rescued your fair daughter!" said Donnie, kneeling and milking the scene for all it was worth.

"Good job!" said Mikey. "Now as king of awesomeness I now decree you get married and live happily ever after!"

Donnie grinned.

"And so the knight and the princess did what the king told them and they all lived happily ever after." announced Leo. "The end!"

The four tiny turtles got up and took their bow as Splinter clapped enthusiastically despite the less than enthusiastic look on his face.

"Very well done my sons." said Splinter. "It was even better than the _last_ ten times."

"You really think so?" asked Leo, already taking off his robe.

"It was cause of me." said Raph. "I been practicin' my roar. _ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAR!_ "

"Trust me, Raphael," laughed Splinter. "We all know you have been practicing your roar."

"I think it was because of me." said Donnie. "Everyone knows the prince is the star of the show."

"You just wanna make kissy face with the princess. Mwah mwah mwah!" mocked Raph.

"Shut up! It's better than always dying like the dumb dragon!"

"Who you callin—"

"Yame!"

The children silenced, all eyes going to their sensei.

"All roles are important my sons. Be you the prince or the dragon—"

"Or the narrator!" shouted Leo.

Splinter laughed. "Or the narrator, a play needs everyone to be successful."

"Hai Sensei!" said the children in unison.

"Good. Now go put away your costumes and wash up for lunch."

The children ran off to place their costumes in the costume chest.

All except Mikey who sat on his throne with a pensive face.

Splinter looked down at him, curious. Mikey was usually the first one to the table when lunch was called, sometimes taking the initiative to arrive before it was called just so he wouldn't miss it. If whatever he was pondering was enough to keep him from his algae and worms it must be serious indeed.

"Michelangelo?" asked Splinter as he knelt down. "Is something wrong?"

Mikey turned to him.

"Why does the dragon always die?" asked the tiny turtle.

Splinter raised an eyebrow.

"Because he is a monster who kidnapped the princess."

"But why does the dragon have to be the bad guy?" He held out his hand and looked at it. "Aren't we kinda like dragons?" He looked up at Splinter. "Are we monsters?"

BAM! Tiny turtle fist straight to the heart!

The moment the words left Mikey's mouth Splinter could feel his heart shatter to pieces. Immediately his arms shot out and practically dragged his youngest son into a tight embrace as if Splinter could somehow use his own body to shield his son from the vile words still hanging in the air.

"You are not a monster." said Splinter, an almost desperate pleading in his voice. "Never think that."

"But the dragon."

Splinter grimaced inwardly. Though part him wanted to, he could not deny that his children indeed bore some similarities to the dragon in their story book. Green. Reptilian. Though they were far from the fire breathing lizards of lore, the fact that his son was identifying with the ferocious reptiles was more than enough to help Splinter see them in an entirely new light.

The rat sensei shook his head, the fur on his chin tickling Mikey's scalp.

"I was wrong, my son. The dragon is not a monster. He is just…different."

"So, the dragon can be a good guy?" asked Mikey hopefully.

Splinter smiled. "I believe a good guy dragon would be just what your story needs."

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"

Splinter chuckled, a tidal wave of relief and joy flooding over him as he watched the thoughts of being a monster perish from his youngest son's mind.

* * *

"We're changing the play!"

"What?!"

Three little turtles stared at their youngest brothers with varying degrees of outrage.

"I said we're changing the play." repeated Mikey. "Daddy and I worked super hard and wrote a better play!"

"But I like being the narrator!" protested Leo.

"And I wanna be the dragon!" shouted Raph.

The three eldest broke into an uproar before-

"Yame!"

The children silenced. Splinter looked down from where he stood at Mikey's side.

"Please, my sons, listen to what your brother has to say."

The three children stayed quiet. Mikey smiled at Splinter before continuing.

"Everyone will still be playing the same people." said Mikey. "It's just the story's gonna be different now."

"Different how?" asked Donnie.

"Now, instead of the prince rescuing the princess from the dragon, the dragon's gonna rescue the princess from the prince."

"What?!" shouted Raph. "That's dumb. Dragons don't rescue princesses!"

"Do too!" shouted Mikey. "This time it's gonna be a dragon princess. I'll be the dragon king, and Donnie will be the evil prince who kidnapped her."

"But I like rescuing the princess!" complained Donnie. He looked down shyly. "She has such pretty hair."

"Donatello." said Splinter. "Remember what Dr. Caterpillar says about sharing?"

Donnie scrunched up his face. Truth be told at seven Donatello was already far past the Dr. Caterpillar phase and had already moved onto much more advanced books. His current favorite was the "Detective Beaker" series, a set of middle school level books that mixed surprisingly advanced lessons on math and science with a detective novel. However, since Donnie had been so obsessed with the book series at five Splinter knew that whenever he needed to remind the brilliant child of a lesson that a Dr. Caterpillar quote was only a question away.

"To truly be good girls and boys, you must learn to share your toys." intoned Donnie with a forlorn look.

"Besides, we made you a wizard staff so that when you're playing the evil prince you can cast magic spells at the dragon! Right, Daddy?"

Splinter nodded. He pulled his hands from behind his back revealing a jo staff decorated with dark ribbons and a paper cut out of an evil eye.

Donnie took it with a look of wonder.

"This is so cool!" he shouted.

"So, you'll do the play?" asked Mikey.

Donnie nodded vigorously.

"Do I still get to narrate?" asked Leo. Mikey nodded. "Then count me in too!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaay!"

Mikey turned to the only brother left who was currently standing with his arms crossed and staring sullenly down at his feet.

"How about you Raph?"

Raph looked up at Mikey, his sullen look morphing into a vicious glare.

"No!"

"But you get to be the hero this time!" said Mikey.

"And you get to beat Donnie." added Leo.

"And save the princess!" threw in Donnie. "Even though she still likes me best."

Raph grew even angrier. "No! No! No! I'm never ever gonna do this dumb play! Ever!"

"Raphael-" started Splinter.

"NO! I won't do it and you can't make me!"

Before anyone could say a word Raph turned tail and sprinted across the lair, immediately heading into his room and slamming the door behind him.

Everyone stared after him.

Donnie turned to Mikey.

"Do I still get to keep the staff?"

* * *

The sound of tiny giggles filled Mikey's room as Splinter sat beside him on his bed.

"And then what happened?" asked Mikey.

"Then the little turtle samurai returned to his village with the jewel encrusted sword in hand. The whole village cheered for the little turtle, and threw a great big feast in his honor. And they all lived happily ever after."

Mikey let out a contented yawn as he snuggled deeper under the covers.

"That was a good story." said Mikey.

"Yes." said Splinter. "But now it is time for bed. Good night, my son."

Splinter leaned down and placed a kiss on his littlest son's head.

"Night night, Daddy."

As Mikey closed his eyes Splinter crept out of the room, closing the door behind him.

He smiled to himself. Ever since that afternoon Splinter had vowed to start telling more stories with reptile heroes so the horrible thought of being monsters never crossed his son's mind again. He even thought he'd throw in some rat heroes. Strictly for his sons, of course.

Though that small victory brought him immeasurable joy, there was still one issue he had yet to figure out: Raphael. He and the boys had tried all day to convince his son to participate in the new play for Story Day, but again and again he had refused to listen. And when asked why he hated it so much he would always reply:

"Cause it's dumb! Now leave me alone!"

A poetic and well-articulated response if Splinter had ever heard one.

He sighed as he walked down the hall hoping his hot-headed son would at let him tuck him in for the night. Provided he even let Splinter into his—

" _Hi, I'm Raph. No, that's dumb…"_

Splinter ears perked up as he heard his second eldest son's voice.

" _Greetings! I am Sir Raphael of—No, that sounds dorky like Donnie."_

Slowly Splinter crept towards his son's door, curious who he was talking to. With all the ninja stealth he possessed he quietly slid the door open just a crack to peer inside.

His eyes widened.

In the middle of the room stood Raph, dressed in his dragon costume once again. Normally Splinter would have reprimanded him for applying more paint to his face after Splinter had already taken the time to wash it off, but then Splinter spotted the other resident of the room: The "princess."

Stuck to Raphael's wall was an extremely good drawing, for a seven year old, of what he presumed was Raph's version of the dragon princess. She was green with dragon wings and a long tail. He had forgone the pink dress like the princess doll, and had instead drawn a red one for reasons that were all too obvious.

Raphael stood shyly rubbing his foot against the ground while avoiding eye contact with drawing. He cleared his throat.

" _Hajimemashite._ " he said with a formal bow. _"Watashi wa Rafu desu."_

He stood up and shook his head. "Nah, she probably doesn't speak Japanese. And those are the only words I know so even if she did she'd just laugh at me."

He shook his head vigorously.

"ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAR!" he shouted as he stomped around the room. "I'm the big, mean, dragon and I'm here to rescue you! ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!"

In his mad rampage he accidently STOMPED right on a toy soldier.

"OW!" he shouted as he hopped around the room on one foot while taking the sore one in his hands. He eventually fell back onto his shell, rocking for a moment as he nursed the injured appendage. With a glare he swatter the offending toy solider away.

"Stupid toy." He said as he sat up. "Stupid princess. Stupid—"

"Raphael?" Raph jumped as Splinter slide the door the rest of the way open.

"Don't look!"

Raph immediately got to his feet, sprinting to the wall and ripping down the dragon princess drawing as fast as possible. He angrily crumpled it into a ball as Splinter walked up behind him.

A calm hand on his shoulder caused Raph to stop his angry destruction of the paper and look up at his smiling sensei.

Splinter held out a hand.

"May I see?"

Raph's face grew soar. He slowly, very reluctantly handed Splinter the crumpled drawing if for no other reason than to help lessen whatever punishment he knew he would be getting for painting himself without permission.

Splinter un-crumpled the paper and looked it over with a smile that made Raph sick.

"She's very pretty." remarked Splinter.

Raph _groooaaaaned_ as he threw himself face first down onto his bed. Splinter walked over and sat beside him as the little turtle sulked into his blankets.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" asked Splinter.

"No." stated Raph bluntly.

"Really?" asked Splinter. He held up the drawing. "Then is there something _you_ want to tell me, Miss Princess?"

Splinter held the drawing up to his ear.

"Uh-huh…Really?"

Raph looked up.

"What's she saying?"

Splinter looked back at Raph. "The princess seems to think that you don't want to do the play because you're afraid of talking to princesses."

"Am not!' shouted Raph. "I ain't afraid of nothing!"

"Oh?" asked Splinter. "Then what seems to be the problem?"

"It's just…" he struggled for a moment before looking back down at the covers. "What if she doesn't like me?"

Splinter resisted the urge to point out that the princess was a sheet of paper with crayon on it.

"What do you mean?"

"Princesses like princes." stated Raph. "That's how it works. They ain't supposed ta like dragons. And I'm a dragon! Why would she want a big, angry dragon like me when she could have a fancy prince instead?"

Splinter smiled as he stroked his beard.

"It _is_ very unusual for a princess to fall in love with a dragon."

"See!"

"But then again." said Splinter. "I suppose the only way to find out for sure…is to ask."

Raph stared, confused.

Splinter scooted closer and wrapped an arm around his son.

"You are a brave, strong, wonderful boy, Raphael. If the princess does not like you then you must trust that somewhere out there there is someone else who will love you more than all the stars in the sky." Splinter smiled. "But as the saying goes a treasure unsought is a treasure unfound."

Raph scrunched his face. "What's that supposed ta mean?"

Splinter chuckled. "It means that you'll never know if she likes you…if you never try to find out."

Raph stared up at his sensei, pondering his words.

* * *

" _ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!"_

"Woosh went the dragon as he flew across the sky, getting ready to attack the evil prince waiting below."

" _ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!"_

Splinter watched with rapt enthusiasm as his sons paraded across the living room, some, like Leo, wearing the same costumes as before, and others, like Mikey, who now wore dragon paint in addition to his king outfit, dressed somewhat differently.

"Mwahaha!" shouted Donnie, as melodramatic as ever. "You shall never save the princess!"

Splinter's eyes went to the trashcan tower where the "Princess" now sat. After his talk with Raph last night Splinter had decided to make a new princess for the show. This one was definitely a dragon princess with scaly green skin and a large, slightly oversized tin can head cut to resemble the dragon head in Raphael's drawing.

Donnie had been extremely happy to learn Raph wouldn't be rescuing his beloved red-hair princess, but Raph seemed even more unnerved than before by the appearance of this new figure. Though thankfully not enough to quit the play.

"Get 'em Raph!" shouted Mikey.

" _ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!"_

"The evil prince threw fireballs at the heroic dragon!"

Donnie chucked painted red balls at Raph.

"Hey!" shouted Raph.

"Leo said to." mimicked Donnie with a smile.

"The dragon avoided the prince's fireballs and in one swoop stomped on the evil prince and flattened him like a pancake!"

"What?!"

Before Donnie could say anymore Raph jumped on top of him, pinning him to the floor.

Raph grinned as he sat on top of Donnie who just glared.

"The evil prince died, and the brave dragon saved the dragon princess."

Raph's grinned instantly faded.

He quickly got up off of Donnie and walked to the trashcan tower where the heavy-headed princess sat dangerously close to the edge.

He stood there for a moment before taking a deep breath and getting on his knee like he'd seen Donnie do so many times before.

"Uh, hi princess." said the normally hot-headed little boy. "I'm Raph…the dragon. I'd like to rescue you. If that's okay."

Silence.

All eyes were on Raph.

Splinter was on the edge of his seat. For the first time in a long time he had no idea what was going to happen in the story.

Everyone in the room waited, unsure what the unresponsive princess would do or even could do! And yet still Raph refused to move, eyes locked on the doll as if the tin can headed doll could somehow give him some sign or reply that she accepted him as her brave dragon champion.

Seconds passed, and no one dared to moved. But finally the tedium of waiting proved too much for Splinter's most hyperactive child.

"Get on with it!" shouted Mikey.

With surprising, and somewhat impressive, accuracy Mikey chucked his wooden spoon scepter across the room where it SMACKED right into the middle of the trashcan tower.

The jolt proved just enough. With that final bit of momentum the heavy headed doll tipped over the edge of the trashcan tower, falling through the air for just a second before landing in Raph's awaiting arms.

Slowly everyone in the room smiled.

"And so it was settled!" announced Leo with glee. "The princess accepted the dragon as her hero and flew with him back to her father in the dragon kingdom."

Raph grinned from ear to ear (figuratively speaking). He turned around and walked over to the king.

"Noble dragon king. I have—"

"No more talking!" shouted Mikey. "As dragon king of awesomeness I decree you both get married and live happily ever after with lots of dragon kissy face! Mwah mwah mwah!"

"Mikey!" screamed Raph, a blush bursting like fireworks onto his cheeks.

"And so the dragon and the princess did what the king told them and they all lived happily ever after with lots of dragon kissy face!" announced Leo. "The end!"

"Grrrrrrrrr!" growled Raph. "I'm gonna get you!"

Mikey and Leo both ran away laughing as Raph gave chase. Splinter applauded the show with genuine enthusiasm for the first time in a long time.

"That was fun Daddy." said Donnie. "Next time can I be a dragon?"

"I wanna be a samurai!" shouted Leo as he ran by.

"And I wanna be a fairy king who turns mountains into marshmallows!" added Mikey.

"I'll mash _you_ into a marshmallow!" shouted Raph as he continued in hot pursuit.

Splinter chuckled. Despite his boys' shenanigans one thing was for certain: Story Day was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

"Kissy face! Kissy face!"

" _ROOOOOOOAAAAAAAR!"_

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi hi everyone! HAPPY BELATED SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!**

 **BIG news fanfictioners! Adventures in Parenting has just recently been nominated for the Stealthy Stories 2015 TMNT Fanfic Competition! YAAAAAAAAAY!**

 **It was nominated in the categories of "Best Splinter" and "Best Chibi!" It is an honor just to be nominated for this totally awesome competition! A hyper ultra big THANK YOU to all you awesome readers who made this nomination possible! None of this could have happened if it weren't for all you wonderful, beautiful people who read the story. You guys ROCK OUT LOUD!**

 **Anyway, let me know what you think of this latest chapter! Thank you all so hyper much for reading, and, as always, have a hyper happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	10. Space Case

**Space Case**

 **Age:** _Fifteen_

"Raph, get my medical bag. Stat!"

"Guys."

"Check if he has a temperature!"

"Guys."

"Stay with me, Bro!"

" _GUYS!"_

Everyone froze.

Leo looked around the kitchen at his brothers frozen mid-panic.

Meanwhile, Splinter sat calmly at the table, a cup of tea in his hands with a quirked eyebrow serving as the only sign that anything about the situation struck him as irregular.

Leo took a deep breath.

"All I said was that I, Leonardo Hamato, am giving up Space Heroes for good. That's all."

"He's delusional." said Donatello. "We need to get him to the medical bay now!"

"Donnie, I'm not—"

Mikey grabbed Leo in a tight hug. "It's okay, dude. You'll be better soon."

Leo growled. "Enough!" He shoved Mikey away.

"I'm not sick, okay?! I'm giving up Space Heroes to become a better leader. Space Heroes is an unnecessary distraction, and as the great General Butakao said—"

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold your butter cow." interrupted Raph.

"Butakao!"

"Buta-whatever. Are you trying to tell me this whole Space Hero thing is just you going on another newly elected leader power trip?"

"I do not go on power trips!"

"Yesterday you tried to make Mikey do a thousand backflips blindfolded." said Donnie dryly.

"Yeah, bro! You know I get nauseous at nine-hundred ninety eight!"

"Which is why you need to practice to overcome that!" shouted Leo.

Raph turned to Splinter. "Sensei, will you knock some sense into this knuckle-head?"

Splinter looked from Raph to Leo before setting down his tea cup.

"I admit it is peculiar that you would give up something you love so much so easily, Leonardo. What brought about this decision?"

"I wanna be just like General Butakao, sensei. At age ten he burned every toy he ever owned, and by the time he was he was in his prime he had toppled six shoguns leading a band of ten men armed only with a wok a pair of chop sticks! If I become a leader like him there's no telling what I could do!"

Splinter smiled. "I see…In that case I think you're making an excellent decision."

"Yes!" shouted Leo.

"Michelangelo, as of this moment you now own all of Leonardo's Space Hero memorabilia."

"WHAT?!"

"Awww, yeah, boi!" Mikey flipped over the counter and sprinted for Leo's room.

"But sensei!" shouted Leo.

"What is the matter? Did you wish to burn them instead?"

"No, but…I…"

Raph and Donnie burst out laughing.

"Relax, Leonardo." said Splinter. "I'm sure Michelangelo will take excellent care of your discarded toys."

Mikey rushed up holding an armload of Space Hero stuff.

"Hey, sensei. Should I take Leo's collection of ultra-rare comic books too?"

Leo's jaw dropped.

"By all means, Michelangelo." said Splinter. "And make sure to alleviate him of his cardboard cut outs as well. We wouldn't want him to be tempted to pick up his old ways."

"Sweet!"

Leo reached out a weak hand as Mikey zipped away with all his prized possessions. Meanwhile Raph and Donnie continued pounding the counter in laughter.

"Great job, Fearless." laughed Raph. "You're lookin' more Buta already!"

Leo glared at them before taking a deep breath. He turned and bowed to Splinter.

"Thank you, sensei. For helping to free me of my childish possessions."

"Anything to help, my son."

Leo turned and marched away with his head held high.

And Splinter watched, a smile on his face and a rather curious glint in his eye.

* * *

 _The next morning…_

Mikey stood at the stove rocking out to a song on his headphones as he worked two skillets at once.

" _Batter in the pan, to make my cakes.  
Flip 'em up fast, don't hit those breaks.  
Stack 'em up high.  
Stack 'em up fly.  
Sy-rup  
Serves it up  
For this turtle guy.  
BOOM!"_

Mikey SLAMMED the handles of both skillets causing four perfectly cooked pancakes to flip through the air and land neatly on four tall stacks of similar pancake on the table.

"Aw, yeah, son! Fifteen in a row, yo!"

Mikey flipped over the counter into the living room.

"Breakfast is ready!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

Slowly, Raph, Donnie, Leo, and Splinter drifted into the room.

"Are those pancakes?" asked Donnie with a massive smile.

"Special request from sensei, bros." said Mikey with a wink.

"They can be a special request from Shredder for all I care." stated Raph excitedly as he jumped into his seat, his hands flying to the utensils.

Leo walked towards the table.

"Did you get my-WHAT IS THAT?!"

Leo flung a frantic finger at Mikey who was currently sporting a batter covered baby sling across his chest. And in the sling sat none other than—

"My Space Hero limited edition action figures from the Garpozian saga!"

"Uh, I think you mean _my_ Space Hero limited edition action figures from the Garpozian saga." corrected Mikey.

"You took them out of their box?!"

"Well, duh! They looked so sad all cooped up and un-played with."

"They were in mint condition!"

"What's it to you, Fearless?" asked Raph through a mouthful of pancake. "Didn't you give up Space Heroes so you could be more like General Butter Cow?"

Leo turned a fiery glare on him before taking a deep breath.

"You're right. Mikey can do whatever he wants with them. Even if it's _completely_ —"

He took another deep breath, centering himself once again. He looked at Mikey.

"Did you fix my breakfast order?"

Mikey nodded. He flipped over the counter and grabbed a bowl from next to the stove.

"One bowl of pickled ume plums. Extra sour and served with a smile."

Mikey slid the bowl in front of Leo.

"Ume plums?" asked Donnie.

"But you hate pickled ume plums." stated Raph. "You called them demonic sour balls from the pits of Gribulon 7."

"General Butakao had a bowl of pickled ume plums every day for breakfast." stated Leo as he took his seat. "If he can do it then so can I!"

Leo stared at the bowl. He took a deep breath and then popped one of the soar morsels in his mouth.

Immediately he cringed, his face contorting as everything in him rebelled against the vile flavor. Eventually he managed a weak smile.

"Tasty." he squeaked out.

"This is harder to watch than Donnie trying to flirt with April." said Raph.

"Hey!"

"Well, I for one applaud Leonardo's dedication." said Splinter as he helped himself to another pancake.

"Thank you, sensei."

"No, thank you, my son. Your devotion to become exactly like Butakao has inspired me."

"It has?"

Splinter nodded.

"As such you may skip today's training session while I instruct your brothers on how to follow _your_ example."

"WHAT?!" shouted Raph.

"Really?!" exclaimed Leo, a massive grin across his face.

"You can't be serious, sensei!" shouted Donnie.

"Please, my sons. We all have areas we can improve in and I believe there is great benefit in Leonardo's mimicry. Now Leonardo, why don't you go 'hang out' with April while I instruct your brothers."

"Yes, master Splinter!" said Leo. He quickly scarfed another plumb, struggled for a moment to hold back his vomit, and then sprinted for the turnstiles, a beaming smile still plain across his lips.

Raph turned to Splinter.

"You seriously want _us_ to be like _him_?!"

"I never said I wanted you to be like him." answered Splinter as he took another bite of pancake. "I said I wanted you to follow his example."

The three turtles stared at Splinter before looking at each other.

* * *

Leo practically skipped down the sewer tunnels on his way back from April's.

Today had been a perfect day! He had started his new…tasty breakfast regime, spent an entire day educating April on all of General Butakoa's 447 military exploits—

* * *

 _Elsewhere…_

April SCREAMED into her pillow.

* * *

-And now at long Splinter was finally teaching his brothers to follow his example. I mean, it was always inevitable that his brothers would see his value and seek to imitate him, but to have Splinter openly acknowledge his superior technique and discipline had him grinning from ear to ear!

He jumped over the turnstiles as he entered the lair, excited to see the results of Splinter's training with his less disciplined brothers.

"Guys!" shouted Leo. "I'm home!"

 _BOOOOOOOOOOM!_

Leo jumped as an explosion burst forth from the lab.

He quickly ran into the smoke filled laboratory where he saw a purple banded figure in a white lab coat standing covered in soot.

"Donnie? Are you okay?"

The lab coat wearing figure turned only to reveal—

"Mikey?!"

And indeed it was! Standing in the center of Donnie's lab was Mikey, only instead of his usual orange mask he was wearing his brainy brother's purple mask underneath a pair of large, black goggles.

"Salutations, dear Leo! I trust your excursion to April's house was enjoyable?"

Leo stared, slack jawed.

"Uh…what?"

Mikey zipped over to Leo.

"I was just testing my hypothesis on mixing unstable chemical compounds with high energy pizza toppings, and I must say that the results were indubitably fascinating!"

"I…you…What did you do to Donnie's lab?!"

"Tut tut, my dear turtle bro. This is _my_ lab now. Master Splinter said I needed to focus more on my academic studies and what better way to do that than to imitate the smartest person I know?"

"Donnie?"

"Precisely! And in the spirit of Donatello, _GET OUT OF MY LAB!_ "

Mikey DROP KICKED Leo right in the chest sending him flying out of the lab and skidding across the living room floor.

Leo lay on the ground for a moment, rubbing his head.

" _Hugh! Oh, yeah! Feel the burn!_ "

His eyes widened.

He quickly sat up and turned to the side where he watched an extremely heavy barbell pumping up and down in the air.

And for a moment Leo wondered if Mikey's drop kick had given him a concussion.

"Donnie?"

Below the barbell Donnie smirked, his usual purple mask replaced with Raph's usual red one.

"'Sup, Fearless?" mocked Donnie.

"What are you doing?" asked Leo standing up.

"What's it look like I'm doing, shell for brains? I'm pumping iron!"

Donnie sat up and dropped the barbell.

"Whew! Feels good!"

He kissed his bicep.

Leo could only watch as Donnie put on a mini-gun show with his olive green forearms.

"Is there a gas leak in here?"

"Nah." replied Donnie. "Master Splinter said I needed to work more on developing physical strength, and who's better at physical strength than Raph? Hey! Let's wrestle!"

Before Leo could so much as say a word Donnie TACKLED him, knocking the wind from his lungs and sending them both tumbling across the lair and right through the doors to the dojo.

The struggling pair rolled across the dojo's carpet laden floor before finally coming to a stop next to the tree in the center.

Donnie shoved Leo's shoulders to the ground.

"Hah!" shouted Donnie. "Pinned ya, dork!"

Donnie leapt up from on top of Leo, rolling his arms as he strutted towards the door.

Leo stayed on the ground. Maybe if he didn't move the world would stop and everything would go back to normal.

 _WHAP!_

"Ow!"

Leo cried out as a sharp pain blossomed on his skull.

He jolted up.

And quickly wished he had stayed on the ground.

"Raph?"

There in front of him, wearing Splinter's robe, was none other than Raph, his usual red mask replaced with—

"Is that spaghetti?" asked Leo weakly.

Raph thoughtfully stroked a mustache-beard combo made of pasta hanging from his face.

He SMACKED Leo again with Splinter's cane.

"Ow!"

"These are udon noodles, young turtle." said Raph in a steady voice. "I am most disappointed by your lack of noodle knowledge."

Leo's eye twitched.

"What is happening?" he asked, his voice begging for reason.

"Master Splinter said that I lack self-control. So I have become the most self-controlled person I know. Now away with you!"

Raph SMACKED Leo again with his cane.

"Ow! Stop that!"

"I have no time to listen to such silly requests. I must now meditate. And then boil a new mustache."

Raph sat down in a meditation position, his pasta-beard jiggling with every movement until coming to a full stand-still.

Leo just stared. How had his life fallen apart so quickly?

"Master Splinter." he whispered.

He quickly got up and sprinted for the door. If there was anyone who could bring order, some shred of reason to this madness, it was his father.

"Master Splinter!" shouted Leo, desperation ringing in his voice. "Master Splinter!"

" _Booyakasha!"_

Leo's stomach dropped like a glacier into the Arctic Ocean.

"Please, no."

He ducked just as a skateboard sailed over his head.

From the ground Leo turned towards the skateboard and watched all his newly formed nightmares come true.

For there, upon the skateboard, was none other than Master Splinter himself, his flowing robes exchanged for a loud, Hawaiin patterned shirt-shorts combo with Mikey's orange mask wrapped around his face.

"What is up _dude_?" asked Splinter with a smile.

Leo stared, his breath coming in frantic pants.

" _Whhhhhhhhhy?!"_ he screamed from the floor.

"You _dudes_ are always saying I need to be more fun." explained Splinter. "And who is more fun than your _bro_ , Michelangelo?"

Splinter kicked off, skating across the lair.

Past where Donnie was pumping iron.

Across the doors to the lab where Mikey was holding up a pair of smoking beakers in triumph.

Looping around Raph as he walked towards the kitchen eating half his mustache.

And then back around Leo who stood watching everything he knew implode before his very eyes.

" _ENOOOOOOUUUUUUUGH!"_

Everyone in the lair stopped as all eyes went to Leo.

"This is insane!" shouted Leo.

"What are you talking about, Dork-a-nardo?" asked Donnie.

"You know very well what I'm talking about! None of you are acting like yourselves! Mikey is acting like a science nerd, Donnie's a jerk, Raph's got udon on his face, and Splinter is acting like…Mikey!"

"It appears dear Leo is having some sort of mental break down." pondered Mikey.

"Most undisciplined." added Raph.

Leo stared at them in defeat as he dropped to his knees.

As Leo stared at the floor Splinter walked over and lifted up his chin.

"Are you saying you do not like the new us?" asked Splinter.

"Yes."

"And you would rather we be ourselves?"

"Yes! Finally, someone gets it!"

Splinter smiled.

"Then perhaps it would be wise for you to take your own advice."

Leo stared.

"Huh?"

Donnie, Raph, and Mikey smiled as Splinter helped Leo to his feet.

"For the past few days you have been focusing on becoming General Butakao when what you should have been focusing on was becoming Leonardo."

"I don't understand." said Leo.

"General Butakao was a great leader. But you don't need to _become_ General Butakao to be a great leader any more than you need to act like Donatello to be smart or like Michelangelo to be fun or like Raphael to be strong."

"Though I gotta say," said Raph. "I'm liking the progress Donnie's makin' on those biceps."

Raph punched Donnie in the arm.

"A-ha-how!" screamed Donnie. "Don't do that! My arms as so sore I'll be lucky if I can lift a beaker by next Tuesday."

Splinter looked from them back to Leonardo.

"There is much we can all learn from each other," said Splinter. "but to become a great leader _you_ must become the leader _you_ were meant to be just as your brothers must become who _they_ were meant to be. Understand"

Leo smiled.

"Hai, sensei."

Leo bowed.

A pensive look crossed his face.

"Sensei," asked Leo. "Is it _always_ bad to act like someone else?"

Splinter raised an eyebrow.

* * *

"Full speed ahead!"

Leo grinned. All around him the center of the lair had been transformed into a cardboard and scrap metal recreation of the space ship from Space Heroes.

And Leo stood at the helm, dressed as Captain Ryan and loving every moment of it.

Donnie ran up to him.

"Captain Ryan! The Garpozians have fired galactic torpedoes at the ship! What do we do?!"

Leo slapped him.

"Get a grip, Crenshaw! We need to come up with a plan to counter attack. Dr. Mindstrong, how should we proceed?!"

Splinter turned around in a rolly chair, a green gem stuck to his forehead.

He stroked his beard.

"Hmmmm. Lead them into the Plasma Nebula then take them from behind."

Leo grinned as did all the other turtles.

"You heard him, men." commanded Leo. "To the Plasma Nebula!"

" _YEAH!"_

* * *

 **Author's Note: Woooooo! Chapter ten is finally here! The tenth chapter. Double digits! I'M SO EXCITED!**

 **First off I just wanted to thank you all so much for sticking with this story for ten whole chapters! I hope you're all having fun because I'm TOTALLY having a blast! Writing for the Turtles is such a blessing, and I'm so happy to know it's helping all you beautiful people out there in internet land smile!**

 **Let me know what you thought of this latest chapter! Thank you so hyper much for reading, and, as always, have a hyper happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	11. When the Turtles are Away

**When the Turtles Are Away**

 **Age** : _Fifteen_

"Bye, Sensei!" shouted Leo. "We're off on patrol."

"Take care, my sons."

Splinter watched with a smile as his four boys leapt over the turnstiles, heading off for their nightly patrol of the city.

His ears twitched as he listened for the telltale sign of the manhole cover opening and closing that would signal that his boys had made their way to the surface…

Not yet…

Not yet…

There was the cover opening…

A set of groans as Michelangelo made a none-too-pleasing joke…

Aaaaaaaaand there it was. The sound of the manhole cover being replaced.

And with that Splinter was officially alone. It would be hours before the boys came back which meant yet again Splinter was left to his own devices.

Now…was Splinter Time.

Splinter used his tail to flick the TV remote into his awaiting hand. He clicked it at the TV.

The screen popped on revealing the words _"Days of our Hearts"_ written in flowing cursive letters as dramatic music played.

Splinter flipped up one of the couch cushions revealing a secret compartment in the couch filled with extra-large bags of Cheezy Bitez.

"Now, time to see if Raquel's plot to trick Julio's evil twin into marrying Lupita will actually succeed."

He popped open a bag of Cheezy Bitez and munched a single morsel as his eye remained glued to the TV.

* * *

" _Oh, Lupita. How I love you."_

" _There is something you must know Julio. I am not Lupita."_

" _What?!"_

" _No. Instead I am…Lupita's evil twin's eviler twin from a parallel time line!"_

" _NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

Splinter sat on the edge of his seat avidly gorging himself on Cheezy Bitez. This dramatic revelation was the most dramatic revelation since the last dramatic revelation!

As the credits rolled leaving Splinter with yet another dramatic cliffhanger guaranteed to get him to tune in for the next episode Splinter got up and stretched. He checked the wall clock.

It was almost midnight which meant it was time for Splinter's other Splinter Time hobby: Snooping in his children's stuff.

And he knew exactly where to start.

* * *

The door to Mikey's room slide open.

Splinter sniffed the air as he entered the room. Each of his children's rooms had a unique scent to it. Leonardo's always smelled of green tea scented cleaning products, Donatello's was a mix of motor oil and chemicals, Raphael's smelled a bit like a gym, no doubt from all his working out, and Michelangelo's reminded Splinter of the most bizarre pizzeria in the world.

Delicious Italian scents from homemade marinara and aged cheese mixed with more peculiar scents such as maple syrup and jalapenos. It was a strange combination of smells, and every time Splinter entered the room there was always something new added to the mix. Today's scent? Teriyaki gum drops.

As much as Splinter enjoyed smelling the sometimes tasty and often strange perfume of Mikey's room, he had to keep focused. He was here on a mission.

Mikey had something Splinter wanted.

Splinter walked over to the wall of Mikey's room and pulled away a poster revealing a secret safe. Splinter placed his ear to the safe and listened as his hands worked at the tumbler.

…42…63…15…NO!...16.

 _Click_.

Splinter stood up with a smile. It was the fifth time Mikey had changed the combination, but no tumbler lock was a match for Splinter's keen rat hearing.

Splinter opened the door to the safe—

WHAM!

Splinter stared with an upraised brow at the spring loaded boxing glove he had just barely managed to catch before it connected with his stomach. It was definitely a new addition to Mikey's security system, albite a slightly cartoonish one.

Splinter reset the glove and reached behind it.

His hand connected with its prize.

Slowly he pulled out the treasured possession: A Ratman #76 first addition comic book.

Ever since Mikey was little he had been collecting Ratman comic books. He originally started because he thought someone was secretly making a comic book about his rat mutant father, but after figuring out the truth he kept with the series because of the compelling stories, amazing action, and, though the series was not actually based on Splinter himself, the intriguing similarities between the heroic main character and the father he loved so much.

In general Splinter didn't much care for comics, and occasionally reprimanded his children for spending too much time with them. But this series was special. And every time Mikey would get a new issue Splinter would make it his top priority to read it without his son knowing. After all, if his son ever found out every single one of his attempts to get his children to read other forms of literature would surely be shot down via his children citing Splinter's own love of the comic and using it against him.

Which is why Splinter had made sure his secret hobby was never discovered.

Splinter took the comic in hand and swiftly made his way towards the living room, ready to kick back and catch up on Ratman's latest adventure when—

BOOM!

The lair rocked.

Splinter stumbled for just a second before his foot connected with a skateboard lying on the floor.

The skate board slipped from underneath Splinter sending the ninja master falling backwards while the precious comic went flying out of his hands in the opposite direction.

Acting on pure instinct Splinter turned his fall into a quick back handspring, twirling once in the air before landing back on his feet.

He quickly looked around to see where the comic went.

And stopped dead.

Slowly he made his way towards the couch with a face filled with horror. For there, in the middle of an open bag of Cheezy Bitez, sat the comic, completely covered in artificial, orange cheese powder.

This was not good.

Splinter quickly ran through his options. He could make it look like one of the other boys did it. But they were all out on patrol together so each of them had an alibi.

Maybe he could clean it off? Oh, who was he kidding? Even if he tried every cleaning product he had it would only damage the delicate paper and smear the precious ink. Mikey would notice. Accusations would be leveled. Trust betrayed, resentment would form, and before he knew it his son would join the Foot Clan, don a black bandana, and come after Splinter as the newly adopted son of Shredder himself!

Okay, that was a little bit much, but Mikey would definitely be mad if he knew Splinter borrowed one of his comics without permission and then dunked it in artificial cheese.

No. Splinter's only option was to replace the comic. But how? The boys would be back soon. He needed to buy some time.

* * *

Leo, Mikey, Donnie, and Raph stood on the rooftop of an apartment building looking over the city with a set of binoculars.

"See anything?" asked Leo.

"Nope. All clear." replied Donnie.

"Good. Let's head home already." said Raph.

"Yeah!" agreed Mikey. "I wanna get started on my new Ratman comic. It took me forever to track it down."

"Alright guys. Let's—"

Leo stopped mid-sentence as his T-phone went off. He looked at the screen.

"It's Master Splinter."

"Master Splinter never calls while we're on patrol." said Donnie.

"Must be serious." said Leo.

Leo clicked the accept button. Splinter's face popped up on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Greetings, Leonardo." said Splinter. "How goes your patrol?"

"Everything is quiet, sensei."

"Tell him I said hi." whispered Mikey. Leo pushed him away.

"We were just about to head home."

"No!" said Splinter. "I mean, I…want you to look into something. Something shook the lair earlier and I want you four to check to see what it was."

"It was probably just a minor tremor." said Donnie. "Though I wouldn't rule out a gas leak which could have led to a small explosion."

"Nevertheless," said Splinter. "I want you to conduct a full investigation as to the source of the occurrence. Leave no stone unturned, and don't come back to the lair until you have a full report on what caused it."

"But that could take hours!" complained Raph.

"Yeah! I was really looking forward to my new Ratman comic book." whined Mikey.

"This is not up for discussion." said Splinter hurriedly.

"Hai, Sensei." replied Leo. "We'll get on it right away."

"Good luck, my sons."

Splinter hung up.

"Pfft." scoffed Raph. "What a waste of time."

* * *

Splinter hung up. That should give him at least a couple hours. Now for the next problem. The comic.

Splinter looked down at the cheese covered comic in his hand. To be honest he had no idea where he would find a comic like this. And if he found it he had no idea how he would actually get it. But one problem at a time.

First thing's first. He needed someone who could help him find a replacement for the precious comic. Someone even more obsessed with them than his sons. Someone liiiike…

* * *

"Who dares enter the realm of Malachi, the Sparrow Wizard?!"

Immediately, Splinter questioned his life choices.

Splinter watched as a portal opened in the floor. Flames and fireworks erupted from the portal and then, soaring like an eagle, came Malachi who struck a pose atop a mountain of gold as what sounded like a horse whinnied in the background.

Splinter had been informed about Malachi's illusion powers, but he had to admit this was impressive.

"Greetings, fair traveler. And who might you—"

Malachi GASPED as he laid eyes on Splinter.

"Oh my gosh! It's Ratman! THE Ratman! I can't believe it! I—Oof!"

In Malachi's excitement he stumbled off his pile of gold and DROPPED face first to the floor. Almost at once the mountain of gold disappeared along with all the other fanciful things that had appeared at Malachi's entrance.

Splinter raised an eyebrow.

Malachi immediately scrambled to his feet looking like a kid in a candy store.

"You're real. You're actually…wait a minute. Ratman doesn't wear a robe. Where's your costume and your cape and your cheese powered mouse mobile?"

Splinter was silent for a moment as he tried to process everything the tiny sparrow mutant was saying. He shook his head.

"Forgive me. I am Hamato Yoshi. I believe you've met—"

Malachi gasped. "You're Master Splinter! The turtles told me so much about you! Well, that and I peered inside their minds when they came to play Mazes and Mutants."

Splinter raised an eyebrow.

"Forgive me for not recognizing you, oh great ninja master. To be fair you do bear a somewhat striking resemblance to the superhero Ratman. Though I'm sure a wise sensei such as yourself has no knowledge of such modern matters."

"Um, perhaps I have more knowledge than you would think."

Splinter hesitantly withdrew the ruined Ratman comic from the sleeve of his robe.

Malachi gasped again! He tended to do that a lot.

"A Ratman #72 first addition! What happened to it?!"

Splinter started to speak.

"No no! My keen sparrow senses have already given me the answer."

Malachi sniffed the comic and then licked it.

"Cheezy Bitez. The bane of comic books everywhere! So tasty and yet, oh, how so many precious comics have fallen to their orange powder of death!"

"That is why I need your help." said Splinter. "There was an…accident and I need you to help me replace this comic book before my sons return from their patrol."

Malachi gasped! Seriously, what's with all the gasping?

"You…need _my_ help!" asked the sparrow wizard, astonished. "This is the best day ever! A real ninja master needing my help! Oh, I can't wait to tell all my online friends!"

"No!" said Splinter. "This is a…"

"A stealth mission!" finished Malachi. "Even better. Ducking and dodging through the shadows like silent ninja assassins. Oooooh, it's so exciting!"

"So…you will help?"

"On one condition!" said Malachi, suddenly taking on an authoritative yet dramatic pose. "You must join my band of warriors in our quest to obtain the Relics of Rugafrenz from the ruins of Raddlethwarp."

Splinter stared in absolute confusion.

"Um, I…"

"You have to join my Mazes and Mutants group!" shouted Malachi excitedly. "It's an all mutant group that plays on Thursdays and having a real ninja master on the team would be AWESOME!"

Splinter continued to stare.

"I do have money."

"No!" protested Malachi. "Either join my group on our quest or forget receiving the help of Malachi the Sparrow Wizard." Malachi turned his back.

Splinter stared. "Perhaps—"

Malachi quickly turned back around.

"Oh, pleeeeaaase join my group! Pretty please with Cheezy Bitez on top?"

Splinter pinched the bridge of his nose. He was running out of time.

"How long would I have to be a part of this group?"

"Just until we finish our current quest! None of the turtles ever need to know!"

Splinter sighed. "Very well. Help me replace the comic and I will _temporarily_ join your…quest."

"Huzzah! Yet another adventurer joins our merry band! Now, quickly, my new companion. If we are to replace this comic book I know of but one place we can go. To the surface!"

Malachi flung his cape behind him as he ran off, tripped over a broken tile, fell flat on his face, got up, and then ran off again like nothing had ever happened.

And all the while Splinter yet again questioned his life choices.

* * *

The turtles sprinted down the street pursued by four hovering Kraang blasting lasers.

In a nearby alley Malachi slowly lifted a manhole cover.

"The coast is clear."

He set the manhole cover aside and quickly shimmied the rest of the way into the alley. Splinter looked about cautiously before following behind him.

"Ooooooh, this is so cool!" said Malachi. "Sir Malachi has returned to the surface once more!"

"So, where do we find the comic book?" asked Splinter.

"Fret not, my fuzzy companion."

Splinter was uncertain how he felt about being called a fuzzy companion.

"The object we seek is in yonder tower!"

Malachi pointed towards a nearby rooftop on top of which sat a small, wooden aviary.

Splinter nodded.

"Very well. Let us go. But maintain stealth. We must not be seen."

Malachi rolled his eyes.

"Please. I am a master of stealth."

Malachi did some quick "ninja" moves.

And accidently kicked over a series loud, noisy trashcans in the process.

He grinned innocently, quickly putting his hands behind his back.

Splinter just sighed.

* * *

A car whizzed past the end of the alley.

Splinter and Malachi both peered outside the alley, checking to make sure no one was around to see the pair of mutants.

After a brief moment of silence Splinter signaled for Malachi to move electing for him to go first should anything…unexpected happen.

Malachi squeed silently before leaping out of the alley in a "stealthy" pose.

He quickly ducked behind a trashcan, and then sloppily summersaulted a few feet to hide behind a mail box causing Splinter to groan inwardly with embarrassment.

After a couple more stealthy looks around, Malachi sprinted as fast as his stubby little legs could carry him across the street, and then dove into the alley right into a pile of trash bags.

He stayed buried underneath the trash for just a moment before popping up with a proud stance.

"Huzzah! How's that for stealthy?"

"Well done."

" _Aah!"_

Malachi screamed as Splinter suddenly appeared beside him.

"Don't _do_ that!" shouted Malachi, though he quickly covered his mouth at his non-stealthy outburst.

"Quickly." said Splinter as he pulled down the ladder to the fire escape. "We must get to the rooftop before we're seen."

Splinter gestured for Malachi to go first.

Malachi looked up at the multi-story climbs above him.

"I don't suppose there's a ninja secret elevator we could use?" he asked hopefully.

Splinter narrowed his eyes.

"Very well then!" said Malachi in false enthusiasm. "Onward and upward, my long tailed amigo!"

Malachi got to the ladder and quickly pulled himself upwards.

* * *

Panting rang through the night.

High atop the building a small, mutant hand gripped the edge of the roof, followed quickly by another.

Slowly, a winded Malachi HEAVED himself onto the roof, rolling the last little bit to lie on his back.

"Eight…stories…Huzzah!" huffed Malachi, clearly more used to long hours of sitting and playing board games than excessive amounts of stairs.

Splinter leapt up on top of the roof, landing with the grace of a feather on newly fallen snow.

Malachi looked at him incredulously as he started to get up.

"Truly your ninja skills are worthy of legend."

Splinter smiled as Malachi walked past him to the aviary.

Malachi flung open the door to the aviary revealing an apparently abandoned interior.

He stepped inside the small building and started brushing straw off the floorboards.

A laser blast SHOT across the sky behind the pair of mutants.

Splinter quickly turned around.

He scanned the horizon for any sign of the strange noise he was sure he had heard, but found nothing.

"So, what is this place?" asked Splinter as he turned back to Malachi.

"This is the aviary above my dwelling from my previous life. I hid my secret stash of comic books up here after my mom threatened to throw them out for not cleaning my room."

As a parent Splinter could totally relate.

Malachi lifted a small section of floorboard.

"Aha! We have found the treasure!"

Malachi heaved as he lifted a large box of comic books from underneath the floorboards.

"They're all still here! Captain Solar #36. The Cyan Blur #42. Princess Yum Yum Go Go? How'd that get in there?"

Malachi casually threw it over his shoulder where a sudden laser blast SHOT through the wall of the aviary and vaporized it right behind Splinter's head.

Splinter quickly spun around, watching as charcoal dust drifted to the ground. Now he knew something was going on.

As Malachi looked through his impressive collection of comics Splinter noticed the small hole in the side of the aviary.

He crept over to it and looked outside through the hole.

His eyes widened.

"We have to go. Now!"

"But I haven't even shown you my Lady Lizard #93!"

WHAM! Suddenly a massive, metal something SMASHED the roof off the aviary.

Both Splinter and Malachi looked up as what appeared to be a bizarre fusion between a metal crab and a Kraang flying saucer soared overhead.

"On second thought, we should probably go."

The metal limbed space ship soared a few feet more before dropping down onto the streets below, landing with six crab-like legs right in front of the four turtle brothers.

Splinter and Malachi looked over the side of the building as the two sides did battle, the space ship attacking with lasers and giant metal claws as the turtles did their best to avoid getting snapped in two.

"I have to help them!" shouted Splinter.

"No!" shouted Malachi. "We'll be seen."

"My sons' safety is far more important than a comic book."

"Just hold on! There's a way we can help them AND still remain unseen. But first, get these comic books to the sewers."

Splinter hesitated for a moment.

"Trust me!" said Malachi.

Splinter stared for a moment more before nodding. He grabbed the box of comic books and dashed to the edge of the roof.

* * *

Down below the turtles fought tooth and nail against the giant machine.

"Dude, this thing is awesome! It's like some sorta giant Kraang Crab!" shouted Mikey.

"Can you not admire the thing that's try to kill us?!" shouted Raph as he dodged a giant metal claw.

"I have to admit though, it is quite impressive." said Donnie.

"Not you too!" shouted Raph. "Next thing you know Leo will be askin' it to prom!"

"Hey!" shouted Leo right before he dodged a massive laser blast.

* * *

Malachi clumsily ran down the stairs of the fire escape, trying not to fall despite the fact that half his run was done with a wooden peg leg.

He started down the ladder at the bottom until his grip slipped off the metal rungs.

Malachi fell through the air for just a moment until Splinter caught him, grunting a little under his weight before setting him down on the ground.

"The comics are safe." stated Splinter. "Now, what did you have in mind to fight this machine?"

"Fear not." said Malachi with a dramatic smile. "I may not be a ninja master, but I learned all about these machines when I was in your sons' minds. They are piloted by the vile creatures known as Kraang, but take heart! For though the machine itself is strong, there is no pilot that can withstand the might of Malachi, the Sparrow Wizard! Behold!"

* * *

Malachi pointed his hand at the Kraang Crab as his eyes glowed with pale blue light.

Inside the Kraang Crab a single Kraang piloted the machine, laughing maliciously as she attempted to crush the insignificant turtles.

She felt a light tapping on her shoulder. She turned around only to find herself face to face with some sort of sparrow mutant in a blue cloak.

"Greetings!" said the mutant.

BOOM!

Suddenly fire erupted all around the mutant! Its form grew and shifted in front of the Kraang until there stood not a small, round sparrow mutant but a massive, three headed sparrow DRAGON!

The sparrow dragon turned all three heads upon the Kraang and ROOOOOAAAAARED!

The Kraang screamed in horror!

* * *

Outside the turtles could only watch as the Kraang Crab suddenly went berserk! It frantically stumbled around the streets, flailing all its limbs and crashing into anything and everything.

"What the sewer apples is wrong with that thing?!" asked Raph.

"I don't know." said Leo. "But now's our chance! Mikey, Donnie, tie it up!"

"You got it, bro!" shouted Mikey. Mikey extended the chain on his kusarigama and tossed one end to Donnie.

The two brothers leapt forward and quickly wove the chain around the Kraang Crab's mechanical legs.

Raph and Leo ran to Donnie and Mikey's aid as the two boys planted their feet firmly against the pavement with chains in hand.

"Now!" shouted Leo.

The four brothers pulled the chain with all their might.

The chain tightened, jerking all the frantic legs together into one, unstable clump.

The machine struggled to maintain balance for just a moment before the whole thing came CRASHING to its side against the pavement.

The main hatch in the top of the Kraang Crab suddenly popped opened as the Kraang inside SHOT out and scrambled away, screaming in terror as she fled down the street.

The turtles all stared after her.

"What was that about?" asked Raph.

As the four turtles stared after the Kraang, a manhole covered in a nearby alley was stealthy pulled into place.

* * *

Back at Malachi's sewer lair Malachi shuffled through his massive box of comics.

"Aha! Here it is, my friend. Ratman #72 first addition!"

Malachi handed Splinter a pristine copy of the comic book encased in a plastic sleeve.

"A treasure worthy of our valiant quest!" proclaimed Malachi proudly.

Splinter took the comic and bowed.

"Thank you, Malachi. You are a truly noble warrior. Much more so than I originally thought."

"Thank me?" asked Malachi. "Thank you! That was like one of the most epic adventures ever! Perilously navigating a hostile environment in the dead of night and fighting a giant crab monster all in a quest for comic books and glory! Ooooooh, I can't wait for our Mazes and Mutants session!"

Splinter smiled. Malachi might not be a ninja, but he had a good heart. And was quit handy with his illusions.

"But alas, noble Splinter. We must part ways. The turtles will be back soon and you must get thee hither before your ruse is discovered."

Splinter laughed.

"Farewell, Sir Malachi."

A brilliant smiled beamed across Malachi's face as Splinter sprinted down the tunnels. His next Mazes and Mutant session was gonna be sooooo epic!

* * *

"Sensei, we're home!"

Splinter smiled at his four turtle children from his place on the couch. By his calm demeanor no one would ever guess that he had been sprinting frantically through the lair on his way to replace the comic book just seconds before.

"Greetings, my sons. Did you discover what the source of the shaking was?"

"We did, sensei." reported Leo. "But it's a looooong story. With your permission we would like deliver our report after we've had lunch."

"Take your time." said Splinter. After all, he was there to witness at least part of their investigation.

"Sweet!" shouted Mikey. "Who wants agave syrup and anchovy pizza?!"

"No offense Mikey, but I'm really not in the mood for seafood." said Donnie as Mikey sprinted for the kitchen.

"Especially crab." added Raph.

Splinter laughed. Overall, this had been one of his more interesting nights while his children were away. He still wanted to know what happened in the Ratman comic book, but for now he was content with waiting until another day to find out.

A day _without_ Cheezy Bitez.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Wooooohooooo! Chapter eleven is up at last! And I have BIG news my glorious readers!**

" **Adventures in Parenting" won TWO awards in the 2015 Stealthy Stories TMNT Fanfic Competition! YAAAAAAAY! It won 1** **st** **place in the "Best Splinter" category and 3** **rd** **place in the "Best Chibi" Category! There were even these hand drawn certificates and everything! PRAISE THE LORD! :D  
**

 **Thank you so hyper much to everyone who voted, to the people who nominated the story, to the admins who run the competition, and to all you totally AWESOME readers who continue to stick with this story! You guys ROCK OUT LOUD!**

 **Since the story won the Best Splinter category I thought a chapter focusing on the ever awesome Splinter would be a wonderful way to make this announcement! Let me know what you guys think of this most recent chapter. Thank you all so much for reading and being the totally amazing people you are. LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	12. Baby Proof

**Baby Proof**

 **Age:** _Eight Months_

It happened.

It finally happened.

The worst. Possible. Thing.

It had all happened so suddenly.

About a week ago Splinter was sitting in the living room reading a good book he had scavenged from the library donation bin while his children were playing peacefully on a small rug on the floor. How innocent they had seemed, rocking there on their backs or in some cases sitting upright, a feat he was still very proud of despite the fact that they had learned it little more than a month ago.

But then it happened.

Without Splinter noticing Leonardo had rolled from his back down onto his stomach. An innocent enough move.

But then he put one arm in front of him.

And pushed with one leg.

Splinter's whiskers twitched, almost as if he sensed that his world was about to come crashing down around him.

He looked down from his book…

And there, right before his eyes, was Leonardo _crawling_ across the floor. Technically it was more of a commando crawl than a traditional crawl, but still.

Splinter's eyes had lit up. His son's first crawl! How he had beamed with pride at such a beautiful, shining moment of triumph for his child!

But then the light was snuffed from his eyes.

And a dark dark dread had taken its place.

Splinter looked to one side of the room where a rusty pipe jutted from the wall.

He looked to the other where his collection of coolers stood stacked in small, precarious towers.

He looked directly towards where Leo was crawling only to see a large pool of water connecting to a massive drainage pipe that led off into an inky, aquatic abyss!

The world seemed to shatter as a chilling truth rocked Splinter to the core.

He lived in a sewer.

And a sewer was anything but baby proof.

Splinter had immediately leapt from his chair and scooped Leonardo up into his arms. While he knew turtles were generally fairly quick to learn how to swim, he in no way wanted to test that out by letting Leonardo go for a dip then and there.

As Splinter stood looking around his horribly unsafe home his whiskers twitched yet again. He turned to see none other than his little Raphael doing what could have been deemed as baby pushups against the floor before sliding a full three inches forward on his belly as if determined not to be outdone by his slightly older sibling.

Splinters eyes had practically bulged out of his head. While the same glow of pride that had gleamed for Leonardo gleamed once again for Raphael, the terror he felt quickly grew so massive that any light it might have given off was sucked away into a black hole of fear.

Before anymore of his children decided to go mobile Splinter scooped all four of them up into his arms and quickly deposited them into their respective cribs. There had been slight protest, but he didn't care.

He quickly exited the room and started making a mental list of everything that needed to be fixed, eliminated, or baby proofed even though that amounted to almost everything in the lair. It would be a lot of work and would take a great deal of material, but it _would_ be done! He was confident that if he worked hard he could have the entire place baby safe in a week.

And now, a week later, Splinter looked around the lair and realized how abundantly stupid he had been.

"Agabubububub." commented Michelangelo from inside a playpen that was basically an upside down, wooden table with a bunch of extra legs nailed on.

Splinter nodded. "You said it."

Splinter looked around the lair at his many pathetic attempts at safety.

Pointy corners? Covered in discarded towels and half used bubble wrap.

Watery abyss to nowhere? Surrounded by a set of broken baby gates lashed together with duct tape.

The only thing he was marginally proud of was the fact that the coolers were no longer in towers, though to be honest all he did was put them on the floor and spread them out.

Splinter sighed. This was sad. Like, really, just sad. He knew these ramshackle solutions were just temporary until he had the time and material to make studier, better options, but still, looking around his horribly disfigured home didn't exactly do much to boost his self-esteem as a parent.

On the bright side the wooden playpen he had built served him extremely well. He had made it from a broken table and bars of discarded wood that he had nailed together and wrapped in old towels and T-shirts to keep the babies from getting splinters.

Sure, it looked like his children were caged animals at a twisted, post-apocalyptic zoo sitting in a pit meant for horrible torture, but it kept them safe. And that's what counted. Right?

" _Aaaaaaaaaah!"_

He spoke too soon.

Splinter's head snapped towards the playpen where Michelangelo sat screaming bloody murder to the heavens. Splinter immediately picked Michelangelo up, careful not to stab himself on the mismatched wooden bars, and upon a quick inspection, he noticed the tiny turtle was flailing his left hand around as if trying to distance himself from his own appendage. And upon a quick inspection of the hand…

He found a splinter.

Leave it to his youngest to find one of the few places in the rat ninja's perfectly crafted playpen that wasn't protected against splinters.

Splinter quickly ran with Michelangelo to get his first aid kit, but almost the second he left the room another cry pierced the air.

He set down his youngest and ran back to the main room where Leonardo sat crying and holding his hand out.

Okay, so maybe his play pen _wasn't_ as safe as he would have liked, but still two out of four wasn't—

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Just as Splinter went to pick up Leonardo, Raphael started crying also, holding his hand in the air just like his brother.

Splinter stared.

"E tu, Raphael?" asked Splinter dismally.

Note to self: Wooden playpen? Not safe.

Splinter picked up Raphael in his other arm and started to leave when he remembered that Donatello was still trapped in his playpen of horrors.

After a quick moment of thought, Splinter reached down and set Donatello outside the playpen on a small rug. It was hard enough carrying two flailing babies, and since Donatello had yet to learn to crawl leaving him on the rug for a moment was still a safe bet.

Without stopping to doubt his decision Splinter ran with a struggling Leonardo and Raphael towards the crib room where he had left Michelangelo screaming his head off. Oh, what a disaster this had turned out to be!

And as Splinter lamented his horrible situation, little baby Donatello stared across the room towards the small labyrinth created by the rows upon rows of coolers Splinter had set on the floor, a curious look in his eyes.

* * *

Splinter sighed with relief as he left the crib room.

On the bad side, it had taken him half an hour to get the splinters out of Michelangelo and Leonardo's fingers and almost another half-hour to calm them down. On the less bad side, it turned out Raphael didn't actually have a splinter in his finger. Apparently, he just wanted the attention.

As Splinter allowed himself to breathe for the first time that day, he thanked the Heavens that at least one of his children hadn't given him grief today. No unauthorized crawling. No splinters. No crying. Yes, out of all four of his tiny turtles, there had been one who was truly a pinnacle of safety and good behavior. None other than his little—

Splinter stopped as he saw that the rug where he had left Donatello was completely empty.

The traitor.

Splinter frantically looked around the room.

"Donatello!" he shouted. "Donatello!"

Splinter dashed about the lair checking everywhere he could think of that a baby could have gotten. Which was a wide selection considering the surprisingly open floor plan.

After a couple minutes of searching the noble rat ninja was practically pulling his whiskers out. Where could he be!

Splinter checked over by the coolers. He had already checked there twice, but he had nowhere else to look!

As he shifted the coolers around for the third time that day, he stopped dead.

There, hidden from sight behind one of the coolers, was a small, baby sized hole in the wall.

Splinter dropped to his knees in front of the hole.

No.

It couldn't be.

There was no way that his son, his sweet Donatello, had gone in there, right? No possible way that he would have wandered into what stood out as the absolute, worst possible place he could have gone, _right_?!

" _Bababababab…"_

The soft baby babble echoing from somewhere inside the hole answered his question all too clearly.

…

Yep.

That confirmed it.

Splinter's children were out to get him.

One day when they were bigger they would turn, assassinate him, and take over the Hamato clan. Not with knives or swords. Noooo, that would be too merciful for _his_ children. No, instead they would assassinate him by making him worry to death! And it would work too because they were halfway to succeeding right now!

Splinter got on his stomach and stuck his head in the hole as far as it would go. He looked around, thankful that his rat mutation gave him an extra boost of night vision, and noticed that the inside of hole was actually a large pipe that had apparently fallen to disuse.

After just a moment of searching he saw Donatello a few feet down the pipe, crawling up on his hands and knees as he got further and further away from Splinter's grasp.

"Donatello!" shouted Splinter, quickly noticing that the pipe had a rather strong echo.

Donatello turned to look at him and sat down.

"Donatellooooo." said Splinter in his most soothing daddy voice. "Come to Daddy, Donatello. Come to Daddy."

Donatello smiled.

And then promptly proceeded to crawl down a side tunnel out of sight.

"No! Donatello! Get back here this instant! Donatello!"

Splinter tried to push his way into the far too small hole as best he could, hoping perhaps his mutation came with some sort of rat bone compression ability or rat shrinking ability he had yet to discover.

Sadly, it did not.

He pulled himself out of the hole and ran along the kitchen wall, his ears perked up to hear even the slightest noise on the other side.

Faintly, ever so faintly, he could hear tiny hands and knees scooting along the pipe, but it was quickly growing fainter.

Splinter had to think fast.

He dashed through the lair, following the sound as best he could.

The sound disappeared.

Splinter dashed even faster through the lair, his ears straining. Oh, why couldn't it have been Michelangelo?! Yes, that sounded horrible, and Splinter practically smacked himself the moment he thought it, but with Michelangelo's constant baby babble he would probably have been able to track him even without mutant hearing. His quieter son, Donatello, however, was proving to be much more difficult.

Just as Splinter entered the second of the lair's two bathrooms he picked up the sound of Donatello scurrying through the pipes. The room had originally been the women's bathroom back when the lair had served as a subway relay station, but Splinter hoped to eventually convert it into a place for actually taking baths while leaving the other bathroom activities to what had once been the men's room.

Neither of the bathrooms had running water though, and though that was normally a bit of a burden at the moment Splinter was extremely grateful for it since that meant that hopefully there wouldn't be any water in the pipes to sweep little Donatello away into wherever it was this abandoned pipe lead to.

Splinter looked around, trying to find where in the bathroom the sound was coming from. It didn't take him long however to figure out that the sound wasn't in the walls anymore, but above him.

Splinter looked up at the ceiling where the sound of tiny hands and knees echoed faintly.

Splinter stood paralyzed for a moment, just listening. Truth be told now that he had found Donatello he had no idea what to do! He couldn't very well tear down the ceiling.

…Or could he.

Splinter dashed from the room, praying that Donatello would still be in the bathroom by the time he got back.

He sprinted across the lair until he got to the dojo. It was pretty sparse as far as dojos went, basically a few rugs on the floor next to the chests of ninja equipment he had smuggled in from his previous "human days" apartment, but it served its purpose all the same.

Splinter ran to one of the chests and dug around for a moment until he pulled out what he was looking for: A large, metal mace! Big enough that only the strongest warriors could wield it properly.

With mace in hand he dashed back to the bathroom and perked his ears up to listen for his child.

Silence.

" _Aaah!"_

Splinter's eye shot wide.

That was a cry! Coming from beyond the back wall of the bathroom!

What kind of cry was it? A joyful cry? A scared cry? An "I just got bitten by a poisonous spider and only have three minutes to live" cry?!

Splinter didn't care.

"Donatello!"

Splinter reeled back and SMASHED the mace against the bathroom back wall taking out a sizeable chunk of concrete. He did this again and again, his arms burning as he broke through stone and mortar, but the wall was too thick.

He quickly changed tactics.

Once again he sprinted from the bathroom, across the lair, over the turnstiles, and out into the subway tunnels.

Splinter had lived in these tunnels for eight months now. He knew exactly which tunnels would take him to the other side of the wall, and he was determined to get there before any more danger could befall his child.

After a minute of pure, Olympian caliber sprinting Splinter arrive on the other side of the wall.

And there in front of him stood a tunnel lined on every single wall with pipes.

Big pipes, small pipes, all around him pipes!

"Donatello!"

Silence.

Splinter didn't have time to wait for a reply. Immediately, he began bashing every pipe he came to, hoping beyond hope that one of them would contain his Donatello while also hoping he didn't end up smashing his own child in the process.

The trained ninja part of him said that using an ancient and honorable ninja weapon to bash sewer pipes was disrespectful, but that part was quickly drop kicked in the throat by the parent side of him that screamed "SAVE BABY AT ALL COSTS!"

For what seemed like an hour Splinter destroyed pipe after pipe, causing clean water and sewer water alike to rain down in every direction.

Eventually Splinter had to stop for breath, his arms limp noodles hanging at his sides.

Wherever his son was it wasn't here.

Splinter perked his ears up in the air, but he could hear nothing over the sound of water raining down in every direction.

Slowly, a dark hopelessness set in. What if he never found Donatello? What if his child was lost forever, doomed to wander the sewers until some dread sewer gator swallowed him up?

Splinter shook his head.

No!

He refused to give up! He would search all night for as many nights as it took until he found his son, even if he had to tear down every wall and pipe in the sewer to do it.

Splinter picked up the mace and ran as best he could back towards the lair. Perhaps Donatello had turned back before Splinter had made it to the other side of the wall. It was a slim hope, he knew, but it was all he had.

After minutes of painful, strained running through tunnels, Splinter arrived back at the lair—

And there, lying right on the rug where he had originally laid, was Donatello, completely safe and sound, joyfully sucking his fingers, oblivious to Splinter and everything else.

CLUNK!

Splinter dropped the mace to the floor, a weary joy filling every part of him.

Slowly, Splinter, covered in filth and muck, trudged across the lair to where Donatello lay on the rug.

He dropped to his knees, unable to form words or comprehend anything except that his child was safe.

Splinter sat there for a good minute, staring at his child as if he were the most precious thing in the world.

Eventually Donatello noticed Splinter staring and looked up at him with a smile. He held the hand he wasn't sucking out the Splinter, something clutched in his tiny fist.

Splinter looked down.

And there, in his son's hand, was a tiny mouse-shaped cat toy, covered in filth.

Splinter gingerly took the toy from his son's hand, unable to process how to respond.

"For me?" asked Splinter, half in awe and half in delirium.

Donatello burped before he continued sucking his fingers.

Splinter stared at the toy.

He was tired.

He was dirty.

He smelled like the inside of a compost heap.

And he was sure the pipes he destroyed were going to have massive repercussions for whatever humans lived above them.

But somehow, someway, in whatever twisted logic he was currently being influenced by, this little toy, this small gift from his child, made everything he went through all worthwhile.

" _Aaaaaaaaah!"_

A trio of cries suddenly rang out from the other room.

The traitors.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi hi Happy People, and welcome to Chapter Twelve! This is definitely the first baby chapter we've had in a while which is awesome! I mean who doesn't love seeing the little, baby Turtles being cute and causing mayhem?**

 **Thank you all so hyper much for reading, and a special Birthday shout out to my awesome Momma and my wonderful Bro Bro whose birthdays were/are within a three month time period of the posting of this chapter! LOVE YOU MOMMA AND BRO BRO!**

 **Let me know what you thought of this latest chapter, and, as always, have a hyper happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	13. It's Electric

**It's Electric**

 **Age:** _Nine years_

"Hand me those pliers, please."

"Here you are."

"Thanks."

"Mind that wire."

"I see it."

Splinter sat smiling as he watched his little Donatello work. And what a work it was.

Ever since he was little Donatello had always loved to build. In order to make their sewer home more livable Splinter had engaged in dozens and dozens of home improvement projects. Whether it was building counters for the kitchen, building bedframes for his children's bed rooms, or even the arduous task of learning how pipes work so he could outfit their home with running water. And no matter what the task, Donatello always loved to be right there lending his father a helping hand.

It had started out small. Handing Splinter a wrench here or a screw driver there. But as Donatello grew the two began to work more together. Father and son, building side by side. Not that the other children didn't love to help as well, mind you. But Leonardo viewed it more as a task to be completed than a fun time activity, Michelangelo got easily distracted in the middle of the project, and Raphael often quit whenever he found the work too boring.

The work today, however, was different. For the past couple months Donatello had been experimenting with electricity. While the other children were doing well in their schoolwork, Donatello was already working at a high school level and was eager to put his lessons on science into practice. He had started with small things like working with magnets or fixing abandoned, electric toys, all with Splinter's extremely close supervision mind you, but he quickly outgrew those small challenges and longed for something bigger. And that's when he had proposed a plan. The biggest home improvement project to date: Outfitting the lair…with electricity.

It had taken a lot of convincing on Splinter's part. For one he was a ninja. Used to living a simple life training his mind, body, and soul far outside the conventions of modern society. And for another as smart as he was Donatello was only nine and letting your nine year old work with high power electrical systems was a big parental no-no.

Still, Donatello was persistent. Not only did he write a twenty page essay on all the benefits of electricity around the house, but he even spent weeks drawing up rudimentary blueprints detailing exactly how the work could be done.

While Donatello's essay and blueprints were…interesting to say the least, what finally pushed Splinter over the edge was Donatello himself. Though Splinter was an old fashioned ninja, he knew that Donatello was a child of the modern world. Donatello's intellect was growing far faster than Splinter knew how to handle, and as much as Splinter worried about his son's safety he knew that his brilliant child would need the tools electricity provided in order to continue growing in his scientific pursuits.

And so here they were. After months of planning, preparing supplies, and working with hundreds of feet of wires, both father and son sat together as they put the final touches on all their hard work.

However, what made this time different from any other time they worked together was _how_ they were sitting.

"Could you please pass me that wire cutter?" asked Donatello, clad head to toe in a rubber outfit Splinter had personally sewn himself.

"Of course." said Splinter, handing him the tool.

"Thank you."

Donatello turned back to the breaker.

That's right.

This time Donatello was the one doing most of the work.

And Splinter was the one handing him the tools.

"How much longer is this gonna take?" asked Raphael. He, Michelangelo, and Leonardo sat nearby quietly watching. Minus the odd complaint that is.

"I just need to connect these two wires…" said Donatello as he bound two wires together with electrical tape. He replaced the front panel on the newly refurbished breaker. "Okay. Let's test it out. Daddy?"

Splinter smiled. "I think you should do the honors, Donatello."

Donatello smiled.

He flipped the switch on the breaker.

There was a faint hum before the ceiling lights flickered to life across the lair for the very first time.

Everyone stared in wonder.

"It works!" shouted Donatello.

The other children cheered! They ran up and surrounded Donatello.

"You did it, Donnie!" shouted Leonardo.

"Way to go, Egg Head." commented Raphael, slapping him on the back.

"You hardly needed Daddy's help at all!" shouted Michelangelo.

Donatello blushed as his brothers continued to shower him with praise.

Splinter beamed as he watched from nearby. He couldn't be prouder of his son. And yet, while he was overjoyed with all they had accomplished, he was just a bit...sad.

While he knew his son didn't mean it in a bad way, what Michelangelo said was true. Donatello had hardly needed his help at all. And truth be told there weren't many ways Splinter even could help him.

When it came to school Splinter often had to study just to be able to grade Donatello's math and science homework. Which was always perfect anyway. And while they had researched electrical engineering and wiring together, Donatello was the one who did most of the planning and a majority of the actual work.

Seeing your child succeed is every parent's dream, and Splinter really couldn't have been happier. But the thought that his little Donatello didn't need him anymore was…bittersweet to say the least.

But now was not the time to dwell on such things.

"Come," said Splinter joyfully. "Let us celebrate this momentous occasion! Red bean buns for everyone!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!" the children all cheered as they rushed for the kitchen.

"Thanks, Daddy." said Donatello. "I have so many plans for what to do next! We could get a stove so we could cook stuff faster. I could build a lab for science stuff. Oh! And maybe we could even get a TV set! And then…"

As Splinter listened to his son's numerous plans to improve the lair one thought still echoed across the back of his mind.

" _He doesn't need you anymore…"_

* * *

 _Plop. Plop. Plop._

The sound of tiny rain boots splashing through puddles echoed through the sewers.

Today was scavenger day, and for four little turtles it was a time of adventure and excitement.

Scavenger days were one of the few days the turtles were allowed to help Splinter scavenge for supplies. They were never allowed to actually go up to the surface to scavenge, but every day after a major rain storm Splinter would take the turtles out to the sewers to find whatever treasures the rain storm had swept down from the surface.

And whatever they found, outside of stuff needed for the household, they got to keep.

"I found a racecar!" shouted Leo as he held up a tiny, red racecar.

"No way!" shouted Raph.

"I found a box of crayons!" shouted Donnie. "It has almost all the colors!"

"How do you guys always find the best stuff?!" complained Raph.

"A ninja must have a keen eye." bragged Leo.

"Grrrr. Just wait! I'm gonna find somethin' that puts both of you to shame!"

"Bring it on!"

The three boys ran off, embroiled in their traditional competition to see who could find the best treasure.

Meanwhile Mikey was far down the tunnel, jumping excitedly in puddles.

"Splash! Take that evil water monster! You're no match for Captain Mikey! Splash!"

Mikey continued splashing, unaware as he grew farther and farther from the group.

As he conquered his most recent water monster he noticed something from the corner of his eye.

He looked to the side down a massive drainage pipe filled with mud, slime, and all sorts of nasty things.

The young turtle stared, his eyes locked on something unseen.

He quickly ran into the pipe.

Meanwhile, the other boys were locked in a dead heat competition.

"Find anything yet?" asked Donnie.

"Nope." said Leo.

"Raph?"

"Don't rush me!"

"Has anyone seen Mikey?" asked Leo.

"I'll go look for him." said Donnie. "You focus on beating Raph."

"Hey! No team ups!" shouted Raph as Donnie ran down the tunnel.

"Mikey?" called Donnie.

"In here!" shouted Mikey from nearby. "You'll never believe what I found!"

Donnie quickly jogged towards the pipe entrance.

"Mikey, you know you're not supposed to—"

Donnie GASPED.

Two things stood before Donnie.

The first was Mikey, grinning like the king of his own private birthday party.

And the second, and to Donnie the most wonderful, was none other than a broken down, mud covered, slime coated, full sized, pizza parlor style, real life animatronic bear! In other words…

"A ROBOT?!" screamed Donnie. "You found a robot?!"

"Yep." said Mikey, clearly proud of himself.

Donnie looked over the animatronic in a state of sheer wonder. To call it run down was an understatement. At one point this beauty of mechanical technology had probably sung songs and delivered tons of joy to little kids in a pristine pizza parlor on the surface (not that the turtles knew anything about pizza parlors or even pizza in general.)

However, after what had to be at least a month of sitting in the filth laden sewers, this once proud machine now sat in complete disrepair. Big hunks of the plush exterior were covered in mold. The constant abuse of being swamped and battered about by sewer water had torn some of the costume away revealing the mechanical interior beneath, and what could be seen of that was clearly trashed.

"It's beautiful!" said Donnie. "I can't wait to repair it!"

"Hey!" shouted Mikey indignantly. "It's mine! I found it."

Donnie stood and turned to Mikey in full business mode.

"I'll trade all of my crayons and coloring books." said Donnie.

"No."

"I'll give you all my dessert for a month."

"No."

"A year!"

"No!"

Donnie growled in frustration.

"What do you want?!" yelled Donnie.

"Remember when you told Daddy you wanted to build a lab?" asked Mikey.

Donnie stared. "Yeah?"

"Well, I wanna be your lab assistant."

"Why would you wanna do that? You don't even like science."

"Because. That's why."

Donnie's shoulders sagged.

"You'll just get bored."

"It's either that or no robot."

Donnie groaned.

"For how long?"

"Forever."

"What?!"

"You heard me." said Mikey. "You get the robot, and I get to be your lab assistant whenever I want for the rest of forever."

"But that's not fair!"

Mikey crossed his arms and tossed his head.

"Take it or leave it."

Donnie growled again. Curse this little brother of his!

"Fine!"

"Yeah!" shouted Mikey as he jumped excitedly in the air. "Captain Mikey wins again!"

Donnie was already regretting his decision.

"But you can't tell anyone else about this." said Donnie.

"Why not?"

"Because, I wanna fix it all by myself. It'll be a big surprise for Daddy."

Mikey smiled.

"Okay! Daddy loves surprises! Except for the time he tried to fix that water pipe and it ended up being an icky pipe."

"No one liked that surprise." said Donnie. "Now, come on. Help me drag this back home."

"Right!"

The two turtles each grabbed an arm of the robot and slowly heaved it down the mud covered tunnel.

And all the while neither Raph nor Leo noticed as they continued on their epic quest to prove who could find the best treasure.

* * *

"Hrrrrrrg!"

Mikey and Donnie grunted in effort as they dragged their mechanical load into the lair. Truth be told pulling a full sized robot was a lot for two little boys, but thankfully the mud and slime that coated the machine's plush, cloth coating was extremely helpful as they dragged it across the concrete floor.

"It hurts!" whined Mikey.

"Just a little further." encouraged Donnie.

For the next five minutes the two young turtles dragged the machine across the lair, occasionally stopping for breaks before starting up yet again.

After an arduous journey they finally managed to drag the animatronic into the storage room. It was a fairly large room where Splinter kept all the supplies that they had scavenged but had yet to find a use for.

Wood of all shapes and sizes were either stacked in piles or leaned against the wall. There were big piles of miscellaneous cloth that Splinter used whenever something needed padding, sewing, or stuffing, and the rest of the room's contents were really a giant mishmash of whatever seemed like it could one day be useful, be it building supplies, miscellaneous parts, or what have you. There was even a big storage container of random art supplies that the kids used for arts and crafts, though of course they weren't even allowed to think about touching any of it without Splinter's permission.

The two turtles sat the animatronic down with a thud, panting for breath.

Donnie looked around the room with a tired smile. "This'll be the perfect spot for my lab!"

"In the storage room?"

"Of course! All the materials are here, and I can hide the robot under the cloth pile for when I'm not here. But first thing's first. We need to clean up that big trail of mud we left or Daddy will find out what we're up to."

"Do we haaave to? My arms hurt!"

"Hey!" said Donnie. "You wanted to be my lab assistant, so start assisting!"

"Fiiiine."

Mikey rolled his eyes as the two ran off to fetch cleaning supplies, at least marginally eager to clean before their trail of grime made their ninja father suspicious.

* * *

Splinter was suspicious.

On one side of the lair, right outside the door to the storage room, sat Michelangelo innocently coloring on the floor.

And on the other side of the room, next to the dojo, stood Splinter, his eyes narrowed at his apparently well behaved child.

Splinter knew his children extremely well. He was their father after all. Michelangelo sitting down and coloring was definitely not beyond the norm.

However, the fact that he had been sitting down, alone, in the exact same spot every day for the past week and a half doing the exact same activity was definitely not normal.

Michelangelo was a child of wild energy and spontaneity. He thrived on variety. When he did his school work, if he wasn't working with his brothers, he would often shift through multiple spots across the lair to do it. Reading at the kitchen table, math on the couch, take a break, more math, some science in the dojo. One time Splinter had even found him writing an essay in the kitchen cabinet under the sink.

While it was true he was much more likely to sit still if he was doing an activity he enjoyed, such as coloring, he had been doing this for many many hours at a time each day. When Leonardo or Raphael asked him to play he had always refused in favor of his coloring, which was really starting to get on their nerves since Michelangelo was generally the one asking if he could play with them. And, the strangest thing of all, every single time Splinter tried to approach his youngest son while he was coloring he would immediately start singing and always in a very loud voice.

Normally, Splinter would have been more worried than suspicious. After all, his most social child exhibiting anti-social behavior set off all sorts of parental alarm bells.

But there was one more factor that shifted him just slightly from parental worry to suspicion.

Donatello.

While Michelangelo had been sitting outside the storage room, Donatello had been spending almost the exact same amount of time _inside_ the storage room. Donatello would usually go into the storage room early in the morning, claiming he needed a quiet place to study. Then about ten minutes later Michelangelo would take his position outside the storage room and stay there all day. They would both come for lunch, training, school, and other such things of course, but then they would go immediately back to their positions and would stay there until the end of the day.

Donatello would usually leave the storage room first. And then, almost exactly ten minutes later, Michelangelo would pack up his coloring materials and go his own way.

Their behavior was, in other words, suspicious.

Two sides of Splinter warred as he stood staring at his youngest child.

The first was his ninja parent side. To him this all seemed like a carefully devised strategy. Like Donatello was doing something behind that door and had somehow roped Michelangelo into serving as his lookout. Their timing, those ten minutes between their arrivals and departures, was just off enough to make it seem like it could be a coincidence but just precise enough to warrant suspicion.

The other was his nurturing parent side. Donatello wasn't a trouble maker. Sure, he was smart, but next to Leonardo he was the least likely of all Splinter's children to cause trouble. Maybe Donatello really was just studying, and Michelangelo was just really invested in his coloring.

Ninja. Nurture. Ninja. Nurture. Trust. Mistrust. Trust. Mistrust. What to do? What to…do?

…

Why not both?

Splinter smiled as he quickly came up with a strategy.

He walked across the room with his best dad face on.

" _The wheels on the bus go round and round! Round and round! Round and round!"_

Splinter's whiskers twitched as Michelangelo started singing the moment he got near.

Suspicious.

"Hello, Michelangelo."

"Hi, Daddy!" said his youngest son as he drew what miiiight have been a bear and what miiight have some kind of giant, chocolate monster.

Splinter sat down beside his son.

"What are you drawing?"

"It's a secret." said the small turtle with a giggle.

Splinter's whiskers twitched again.

"I see…You seem to be doing a lot of coloring lately."

"Yep."

Silence. Yet another reason to be suspicious.

The ninja side was quickly starting to take over.

"Is there any particular reason why?"

"Nope."

Grrrrr. Another one word answer. What could this child be hiding?!

"Is there something going on with you and Donatello?" asked Splinter, his eyes narrowed.

"Nah. He just spends all his time in his lab."

"His…lab?"

"Yep. That's what he calls the storage room. And I'm his lab assistant. I made him promise that I could be his lab assistant whenever I wanted for the rest of forever."

"I see." said Splinter with a smile. "And why did you do that?"

Michelangelo stopped coloring, his eyes locked on the page.

The ninja side of Splinter quickly went silent as the nurturing side rushed to the surface.

"Michelangelo?"

The tiny turtle was silent for a moment.

"Donnie's really smart." said Mikey. "He spends lots and lots of time on school work. We used to play together all the time, but ever since you and him started working on the electricity he spends more time with books than with us."

Mikey reached under his coloring book and pulled out a drawing of Donnie wearing a lab coat.

"In all my comic books scientists are people who go into their labs and never come out. So, when he said he wanted a lab I knew it meant he would do just like they do. So, that's why I made him promise to let me be his lab assistant. That way if he does go into a lab and never comes out I can come visit him whenever I want. And maybe we can play together. With science stuff."

Splinter could feel his heart melting in his chest. He just wanted to spend time with his brother! That was why Michelangelo had stationed himself outside the door!

Splinter quickly grabbed his youngest son in a warm hug.

He let go and smiled at him.

"Donatello should be proud to have such an excellent lab assistant."

Michelangelo smiled.

"Now," said Splinter. "How about I go get you a snack?"

"Can I have pineapple?!"

Splinter laughed.

"I'll see what we have."

Splinter got up and headed towards the kitchen, questioning if they still had any pineapple after his last dumpster dive.

Mikey watched him walk away before giving a knock on the storage room door.

Donatello opened the door.

"Is he gone?"

"Yep. No one gets past Captain Mikey!"

"Good. Come inside. Hurry!"

Mikey quickly got up and rushed inside the door, looking around once more before closing it behind him.

* * *

Inside the storage room was exactly the same as before.

Or so it seemed.

Donnie and Mikey quickly ran over to where some large panels of wood leaned against the wall.

They pulled the panels away revealing the animatronic, otherwise known as—

"Bear-bot!" cried Mikey, though he was quickly shushed by Donnie.

"Keep it down."

The two boys looked up at the robot with a smile. Much of the plush exterior was riddled with incisions where Donnie had been forced to temporarily remove it in order to make the necessary repairs. The slime and mud had been thoroughly scrubbed off, but the combination of the torn plush fabric and the exposed mechanical parts was more than a bit unsettling to behold.

Still, to the two little boys Bear-bot was a thing of beauty.

"Is he ready to be tested out?" asked Mikey enthusiastically.

"Is neon a noble gas?" replied Donnie with a confident smile.

Mikey giggled.

Donnie stared for a moment and then rolled his eyes as he got the joke, though he couldn't help a small smile.

"So, how do we make him work?" asked Mikey.

"All we need to do is plug him in and see what happens." explained Donnie as he picked up the electrical cord sticking out of Bear-bot.

"Ready?"

Mikey nodded with an eager grin.

Donnie plugged Bear-bot into the wall.

Mechanical whirring filled the room.

Slowly Bear-bot lifted his head as his limbs began to jerk.

"Hey, hey, hey kids!" said Bear-bot in a cheery voice.

"It works!" shouted Donnie, unable to contain himself.

"Yaaaay!" shouted Mikey.

The two jumped up and down together in excitement.

A loud, mechanical groan echoed through the room.

The boys stopped jumping and looked up at Bear-bot to see sparks shooting out of his neck.

The boys backed up in fear.

"Donniiiieee." said Mikey more than a bit scared.

"Hey, hey, hey kids!" said Bear-bot in a terrifyingly distorted voice.

BOOM!

One of Bear-bots eyes blew out of its socket.

* * *

Splinter stood in the kitchen cutting up an apple since apparently they were out of pineapple.

" _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"_

The sound of blood curdling screams shot across the lair.

"Donatello! Michelangelo!"

Splinter immediately dropped the knife and sprinted across the lair.

The first thing he saw was the abandoned coloring book on the floor.

The storage room.

Splinter threw open the door and rushed inside.

And what he saw was nothing short of a nightmare come to life.

On one side of the room were his two youngest children huddled against the wall in terror.

And on the other was some kind of horrible robot creature marching towards his children as sparks shot out of it at every angle.

Splinter immediately rushed towards the robot and struck it with a palm thrust so mighty that it flew all the way across the room and CRASHED right into the wall.

The terrifying robot twitched on the ground for just a moment.

"Hey…hey…heeeeeey…"

The machine shut down, lying still among a pile of broken wood.

Splinter turned immediately to his children.

"Are you two o—"

"Daddy!" shouted Donnie as the two boys leapt into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

Splinter had no idea what was going on. He had no idea what the robot was, why it was here, or why it seemed to be after his sons. But he did know one thing.

His sons were safe. And that's all that mattered.

* * *

Splinter sat at the kitchen table watching his youngest son play silently with his breakfast while his second youngest stared down into his bowl.

It had been almost a week since the robot incident. The two boys had immediately confessed everything they had been doing the moment Splinter got them to stop crying.

Splinter had of course grounded them for their actions, but he quickly realized that grounding them was nothing compared to the punishment they had inflicted on themselves.

The first three nights both boys had slept in his bed to ward off terrifying nightmares of mechanical monstrosities. Donatello didn't speak at all the first couple days beyond a few words and Michelangelo carried his stuffed turtle plushie with him everywhere in hopes it would protect him from any more monsters.

Splinter had lifted the grounding extremely early in hopes it might cheer the boys up, but it did little if anything to help.

Right now both boys continued their streak of traumatized behavior, and Splinter really had no idea what to do to fix it.

"Hey, Mikey," asked Leonardo. "Wanna play racecars after breakfast?"

"No thanks." said Michelangelo somberly.

Leo stared.

"How about you, Donnie?"

Donatello didn't respond.

Raphael growled.

"Will you two stop acting so weird already?!"

"Raphael!" reprimanded Splinter.

"Well, they are!"

Splinter didn't respond. He decided to change the subject.

"So, Donatello, I saw a stove at the dump the other day. Perhaps we could fix it together."

"No!" shouted Donatello. "I don't ever wanna fix anything again! All it does is make monsters!"

"Scary monsters." repeated Michelangelo as he clutched his plushie tighter to his chest.

A light bulb went off in Splinter's head. That was it! That was how they could fix this!

Splinter smiled as he walked over to Donatello. He knelt down beside his genius son.

"It is true that your experiments with the robot didn't go quite as you expected."

"It came to life and tried to eat us."

"Weeell, that's not _precisely_ what happened, but regardless. This was your first failed experiment working on your own, but think of all the other experiments that you succeeded at. You repaired your brothers' toys, you equipped the lair with electricity, and even though it didn't work as you expected you did get the robot to function…more or less."

Donnie looked up at Splinter.

"There have been many great minds throughout history, and every one of those great minds, no matter how smart, has made equally great mistakes along the way."

"Even Albert Einstein?"

"Even Albert Einstein." repeated Splinter. "As a scientist you will make many mistakes, and sometimes your experiments may not go as planned. But it is not important how many mistakes you make, but rather that you keep trying after you make them."

Splinter wrapped an arm around Donatello.

"Now, how about we give that robot one more try? This time, together?"

Slowly, a smile blossomed across Donatello's face.

Splinter turned to the side and wrapped his other arm around Michelangelo.

"And of course we'll need your number one lab assistant to assist us."

"WHAT?!" shouted Michelangelo.

* * *

"Hand me that screw, please."

"As you wish."

"Hand _me_ the glitter, please!"

Splinter laughed as he passed the glitter to Michelangelo.

In front of Splinter both boys sat working on the robot, or Bear-Bot as his youngest had so rightfully dubbed it.

Over the past couple days the three of them had been hard at work fixing up the once horrifying animatronic. Donatello was, of course, in charge of getting the machinery operational, and Splinter had placed Michelangelo in charge of making sure Bear-bot looked, not like a run-down monster, but like the fun-time, singing animal he was originally intended to be.

Both had been extremely hesitant at first given their past failure, but with Splinter there to guide and encourage them they quickly worked past their fears and embraced the project with newfound vigor.

"How long till it's ready?" complained Raphael from behind them.

Splinter smiled.

"Have you two finished setting up the stage?"

Raphael grumbled. Since Leonardo and Raphael refused to be left out of a massive family activity Splinter had assigned the two of them to set up a space where Bear-bot could perform. Leonardo had taken to the work with great enthusiasm while Raphael insisted on complaining despite the fact that he actually seemed to enjoy being part of the project.

"It's up and ready for use, sensei!" said Leonardo excitedly.

"Hold on! I ain't done painting the background!" shouted Raphael as he quickly set to work putting the finishing touches on a very well done backdrop consisting of a green meadow covered in flowers painted on a large piece of wood.

"This is what you get for slacking off." said Leo.

"Can it, you—"

"Done!" shouted Donatello.

"Me too!" shouted Michelangelo. The two high fived.

"Well done." said Splinter. "Help Raphael set up the backdrop while I get Mr. Bear-bot on his feet."

"Kay!"

Both boys ran over to help Raphael with the backdrop.

Splinter propped the robot on his feet and took a moment to look it over.

What had once been a terrifying robot now looked like a cheerful bear with smooth, patchwork fur. In order to repair the exterior Michelangelo had pulled everything brown from the cloth supply and cut patches which Splinter then used to sew up the missing chunks of Bear-bot's fur.

The robot wore a purple vest covered in glitter and various fun shapes, while a purple painted bowler hat sat atop his head, dripping with glitter just like his vest. (Michelangelo chose to be very liberal with the glitter.)

As Splinter set the robot in place Michelangelo, Leonardo, and Raphael all took their positions in the audience, eager anticipation on every face.

Splinter turned to Donatello who looked at the robot with a mix of hope and fear.

Splinter knelt down and held out the plug.

"Would you like to do the honors?" asked Splinter.

Donatello stared at the cord.

"You do it." said Donatello. "After all, we couldn't have done it without you."

Splinter laughed.

"Very well."

Donatello ran to stand behind his brothers.

Splinter plugged in the robot.

Immediately Bear-bot whirred to life.

"Hey hey hey, kids!" announced the robot in a clear, cheerful voice. "Are you ready to have some fun?"

"It works!" shouted Donatello.

"For real this time!" added Michelangelo.

"Who wants to hear a song?" asked Bear-bot.

All four children cheered.

Music rang out from the robot as he began singing a cheerful tune.

" _Welcooome to Cheezy Town. Funneest place all around. Don't juuust sit there and frown. Get uuup and come on down!..."_

As the children cheered the robot's song, Splinter stood smiling at his children with a vibrant gleam of pride shining inside his chest.

The truth was Donatello had barely needed any help at all repairing the machine, minus the odd bit of input on checking wires or double checking how something was connected. Pretty soon Splinter's mechanical help would be totally obsolete.

But that was okay. While Donatello may not need his help to build machines, he would always need a father who loved and supported him. And that was something Splinter knew he could always provide.

" _Turn thooose frowns upside down. Here theeere's fun all around! Welcooome to Chee-zy Toooown!"_

* * *

 **Author's Note: HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!** **I hope everyone is gearing up for some spooktacular fun and lots of candy!**

 **It's chapter thirteen, y'all, and what a fun chapter it was! I totally loved writing it. I actually thought about writing it a long time ago, but it wasn't until recently that all the pieces clicked together so I knew exactly what it was meant to be which is a total Blessing. YAY!**

 **Let me know what you think of this latest chapter. Thank you all so hyper much for reading, and have a HYPER HAPPY HALLOWEEN! LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	14. Snow Days

**Snow Days**

 **Age:** _Three Years_

 _Quiet laughter trickled across the snow laden landscape._

 _Yoshi stopped, the broom in his hands still for just a moment before he continued sweeping snow off the walkway in front of the family dojo, a small smile etched across his face._

 _WHAM!_

 _A snowball nailed the ninja master right in the face._

 _There was a brief pause before he continued sweeping as if nothing had happened, though the slightly larger smile on his face betrayed his true intentions._

 _With a barely suppressed giggle Shen stepped out of her hiding place around the corner of the building, traces of snow still clinging to her mittens._

 _She slowly walked over to Yoshi and stood right beside him as he swept, more and more laughter slipping through as she watched little chunks of snow fall from his hair._

" _Hello, my love." said Shen, unable to contain herself._

" _Hello, Shen." said Yoshi. "Lovely weather, is it not?"_

 _Shen nodded, suppressing yet another giggle._

" _Strangest thing." continued Yoshi. "Just a moment before you arrived the largest snowflake I had ever seen landed right on my face. At least I assume it was a snowflake, for otherwise I would have to suspect there were snow ninjas hiding behind the gazebo."_

 _Yoshi gave her a sideways look, the grin clear in his eyes._

 _That was the final straw. Shen burst out laughing, a laugh as light as the snow still clinging to Yoshi's hair, before she wrapped her arms around her husband in a sudden embrace._

 _She smiled as she caressed his cheek._

" _You could have dodged it." she stated matter-of-factly._

" _I could have." replied Yoshi as he set aside the broom. "But then I wouldn't have gotten to do this."_

 _He pushed the hair from in front of her face before the two leaned in for a frosty kiss._

* * *

Laughter rang through the air.

Splinter smiled as he watched his four turtle children run around in a small patch of snow.

It was their fourth winter. And though none of them were allowed to go to the surface Splinter had found a place where a large chunk of tunnel roof was missing allowing snow to fall down into the tunnel below. It wasn't exactly a winter wonderland, but they loved it nonetheless.

Splinter clapped his hands.

"Okay, children. Time to go home."

"Awwwwwwwwwwww." came the unanimous response.

"Do we have to?" asked Michelangelo.

"Yes, we do."

"Why?" asked Donatello.

"Because if we do not you will turn into popsicles."

"What's a popsicle?" asked Leonardo.

"It is an ice cube that tastes like fruit."

"I wanna be a popsicle!" yelled Michelangelo.

"You do?" asked Splinter, smiling. "And what kind of popsicle would you like to be?"

"A monkey popsicle!"

"A monkey popsicle?" asked Splinter laughing.

"Yes." replied the tiny turtle with a smile.

Splinter shook his head. If there was one thing he loved, it was the logic of three year olds.

"Well, how about this: We go home now, and tomorrow I teach you how to make a snowman?"

"What's a snowman?" asked Raphael.

"A snowman is someone you make out of snow."

"Can there be snow turtles?" asked Donatello.

Splinter smiled. "You can make anything you want out of snow. Now come. Let us go warm up with a nice cup of hot tea."

"I want popsicle tea!" said Michelangelo.

Splinter grabbed their hands and shook his head with a smile. Popsicle tea…

…

What would that taste like?

* * *

A small fire crackled in Splinter's homemade hibachi.

He placed the tea kettle over the fire as the children all sat around it warming their cold little hands. Though Splinter had learned a great deal about his turtle children after three years of parenting, he still wasn't one hundred percent sure what their tolerance for cold was considering their reptilian origins, so he always made sure to keep things extra warm during the winter.

"Can we have tea now?" asked Raphael.

"Not until the kettle whistles." replied Splinter.

"When will that be?"

"Hmmmmm, tell you what. I need to go to the other room for a moment. How about you watch the kettle and call me the moment it whistles. Okay?"

Raphael smiled. "Okay!"

"Good. And make sure no one touches the hibachi or the kettle."

Raphael nodded.

Splinter smiled as he got up and walked across the lair.

* * *

The door to Splinter's room slide open.

His bare feet padded softly across the carpet as he slowly made his way to the dresser next to his bed.

And more importantly, the picture on top of it.

A sad smile crossed Splinter's face as he lifted the framed picture of himself, Shen, and Miwa from the top of his dresser.

He stroked a finger along Shen's cheek.

She would have loved today. Ever since she was little she had always loved snow. Even when she was pregnant with Miwa she would still wrap herself up in a swaddle of coats and blankets and sit outside just to watch the snow fall across the city.

Splinter's eyes fell from Shen's face down to the baby held in her arms.

He wondered if Miwa would have loved snow as much as her mother. He closed his eyes and imagined what it would have been like. The three of them, walking through the snow laden forests around the Hamato family dojo. His arm linked with that of his beloved wife while his young daughter sat on his shoulders. They would have been so happy, just being together and watching as the snow fell.

"Who are they?"

Splinter opened his eyes.

He looked down to see little Michelangelo standing on his bed and looking at the photo. He had been so caught up in his own musing that he hadn't even heard the young turtle enter. Either that, or his child had somehow mastered the ninja art of stealth in the two minutes he had been in the bedroom.

Splinter sat down on the bed beside him and showed him the picture.

"This is my family from when I lived in Japan."

"What's Japan?"

"It's a place faaaar away on the other side of the world."

"Who's that?" asked the little turtle as he pointed to the man in the photo.

"That's me."

"No, it's not. This is you." said Mikey as he grabbed Splinter's furry, rat nose. Splinter laughed as he pried the tiny hand off his face.

"This is what I looked like when I lived in Japan."

"Who's that?" he asked pointing at Shen.

"That's Shen. She was my wife. And this little baby here is my daughter, Miwa."

"Are they in Japan?"

Splinter looked sadly at the picture.

"No. They are…gone."

"Why do you look sad?" asked Mikey as he stared up at his father.

"I'm sad because they are gone."

"Where'd they go?"

"They went…to a different place."

"Can they come here?"

Splinter stared as he tried to find the right words.

Suddenly, the whistle of the tea kettle echoed through the air.

"It's ready! It's ready! It's ready!" shouted Raphael from the other room.

Splinter set down the picture and picked up his youngest son.

"Come. Let us go have some tea."

"Okay." said Mikey quietly.

Splinter walked with his child in his arms as he made his way towards the kitchen.

And the entire time Michelangelo's eyes never left his father's picture.

* * *

 _A fire raged across the Hamato dojo._

 _Saki leapt through the air in slow motion, his arm drawn back to finish Yoshi with the razor sharp claw in his fist._

 _Yoshi watched in horror as Shen stepped in front of Saki's blade._

" _SHEN!"_

* * *

Splinter jerked up in bed, his breathing heavy as the images from his nightmare still burned in front of his eyes.

He quickly calmed himself, slowing his breathing with practiced skill as he worked to push the terrifying visions from his mind.

As his panting subsided into normal breathing, his ears perked up as a new sound reached his ears.

* * *

The door to Splinter's room slid open.

And it took only a moment to find the source of the sound.

There, in the middle of the dojo, sat Michelangelo, dressed sloppily in half his winter attire and sobbing on the ground.

Splinter quickly made his way over to his crying child.

He knelt down beside him.

"Michelangelo, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

The tiny turtle continued to sob. He pointed in front of him.

Splinter followed his finger to a small pile of mostly melted snow sitting on the dojo floor.

Splinter quickly put two and two together.

"Did you go outside to get snow?"

Slowly, Michelangelo nodded.

A flurry of worries sprang into Splinter's mind. The snow place was a good distance down the tunnels and the tunnels were no place for a three year old to go unsupervised.

He quickly started looking over his child for any possible injury.

"Are you hurt? Did you step on anything?"

Michelangelo's crying increased in volume.

Splinter took a deep breath. He knew rapid fire questions only made crying worse, but it was hard for him to slow down when disaster after disaster played through his mind. Taking a deep breath he sat down and placed the crying child in his lap.

"Michelangelo, calm down. Now, are you hurt?"

The crying child shook his head.

Splinter's shoulders sagged as relief washed over him.

He wiped the tears off Michelangelo's cheek.

"Good. Now, what happened?"

Michelangelo sniffed.

"I was trying to make snow people. Like the people in the picture."

Splinter's brow furrowed.

"What picture?"

"The one from Japan." explained the three year old turtle. "You said we could make anything out of snow, so I wanted to make those people because you said you missed them." Fresh tears sprung to the child's eyes. "But I didn't know how to make snow people, and then the snow went away!"

His hands tightened on Splinter's robe as he leaned into his father's chest.

"I just wanted you to be happy!"

Renewed wails filled the air as Michelangelo broke down in Splinter's arms.

Splinter sat frozen as his mind slowly put the pieces together.

His arms slowly wrapped around Michelangelo, squeezing him tightly.

A smile blossomed across Splinter's lips as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I am happy." said Splinter. "Thank you."

The two sat together in the center of the dojo, tears on both faces as each gripped tightly to the other.

* * *

"Now, roll the ball nice and tight."

"Like this?"

"Just a little bigger."

Splinter smiled as he watched his four children build their very first snow people. True, they were more blob-like than traditional snow people, but to Splinter they were works of art worthy of the Louvre.

Leonardo ran over to Splinter.

"How'd we do?"

Splinter looked at the scene.

Before him stood five snow people, four little ones for each of his children and one tall, skinny one for Splinter himself complete with tiny twigs for Splinter's whiskers.

Splinter stared at the frozen image of his family glistening under the sunlight.

"Absolutely perfect." said Splinter with a smile. And he meant it. While he still missed his old family, his new family, his new life, as unique and imperfect as it all was, was absolutely perfect.

* * *

 **Author's Note** : **MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!**

 **It's a beautiful season of Blessings, Joy, and tons of fun! And to celebrate I wanted to make sure to have a chapter up just in time for the Holidays. I hope each and every one of you have an amazing, incredible, and wonderful Christmas!**

 **Let me know what you think of this latest chapter. Thank you so hyper much for reading, and, as always, have a hyper happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	15. The Perfect Parents

**The Perfect Parents**

 **Age:** _Three Weeks_

" _You're doing everything wrong."_

This single thought rang through Splinter's head as he hid inside a dumpster. Why you ask?

Because of them.

While Splinter was busy hiding amongst trash and compost, a young couple was walking down the street pushing a twin baby stroller. The two held hands, leaning lovingly against each other as their two adorable children in matching baby jumpers slept peacefully, looking clean, well fed, and like they had not a care in the world.

Ooooooooh, how Splinter hated them. The parents, not the children.

As soon as they were out of sight Splinter slowly slipped out of the dumpster, his already dirty robes now an extra shade more dirty.

Not that he cared, mind you. He had been living in the sewers for three weeks now so he had quickly gotten used to filth, and if that weren't enough he was also going on three weeks of sleep deprivation. Combine that with the exhaustion of being a brand spanking new single dad with four crying children at home, each of whom needed an average of seven feedings a day and had to be changed every two hours, and you got a level of apathy so high that not even an invasion of pink aliens from another dimension could break through it.

Splinter stretched, his spine cracking in a most satisfying fashion before he reached back into the dumpster and grabbed his grocery bags. Scavenging was proving much more difficult than he had originally thought. Baby formula was ultra-rare to find in the dumpsters, milk in general was pretty difficult, and even the worms that he crushed up to mix with his patented turtle baby formula were occasionally hard to get to.

But now was not the time to focus on what he didn't have. He had enough to last him a couple days, and that's what counted. He slung his bags over one arm as he quickly used the other to lift up a nearby manhole cover. He'd say he was looking forward to getting home and getting a full night's sleep…

But the thought was so hilariously absurd that he could never quite get the words out.

* * *

" _Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!"_

Splinter slowly trudged through the turnstiles of his sewer home, the bags heavy on his shoulders as the sound of four crying babies rang through the air.

He quickly sat the bags down next to his coolers, and started making his preparations.

Step 1: Start a fire for heating the baby formula.

Step 2: Grab an already premade bottle to take to whoever was hungry.

Step 3: Grab at least four ratty T-shirts for anyone who needed a clean-ish diaper.

Step 4: Remind self that a true ninja must be able to go weeks without sleep if necessary.

Step 5: Actually go check on babies.

After completing steps 1 through 4 in the allotted amount of time (52 seconds if anyone was wondering), Splinter finally made it into the nursery.

Standing in the doorway Splinter glanced over his children and used his keen ninja skills of observation to determine who needed what.

Leonardo needed feeding.

Raphael needed changing.

Donatello definitely needed changing.

And Michelangelo needed both feeding and, based on past trends, probably wanted to be held for a period of time no less than the exact amount of time it would take for Splinter to develop a crick in his neck.

As Splinter donned his homemade baby sling for Michelangelo he had to ask himself: How did they do it? How did that couple he saw today do it? How did they go about looking so perfect with their perfectly clean children and their perfectly unbaggy eyes and their perfect clothes that weren't covered in dumpster sludge?

Splinter paused for a second and looked down at his slime covered exterior. In his frenzy to get to his children he had skipped a very important step.

Step 1.5: Change clothes so you don't contaminate your children with the filth of a dozen New York dumpsters.

Taking off the baby sling as quickly as possible, Splinter fled from the room to change into a new robe and wash any exposed flesh that might have come into contact with garbage. Which was most of him.

After changing robes he quickly made his way to the large pool of clean water that existed right on the edge of his "living room" and started washing his hands and face. One day he hoped to have a proper bathroom to wash up in instead of just using the conveniently located pocket of water, but for now he counted his blessings that he had a source of clean water at all.

As he scrubbed making extra sure that nothing from the dumpster clung to him he still pondered the secrets of those perfect parents.

If only Shen were here, she could probably have told him in a heartbeat. She was always so good at these things, and always seemed to know exactly what to do whenever Miwa got upset.

As Splinter dried off he wished he could do like they did in ancient Japan and just take their precious parenting secrets. After all, history was full of battles that had been won thanks to brave and cunning ninjas sneaking across enemy lines and stealing their—

Splinter stopped…

Why couldn't he?

Why couldn't he just take their perfect parenting secrets? He was a ninja after all. Granted he wouldn't be infiltrating an enemy stronghold, but if he did a little recon—

" _Aaaaaaaaaaah!"_

A fresh round of cries rang through the air reminding him that he was in the middle of something. Splinter quickly hurried off to tend to his children as a somewhat desperate plan brewed in his mind.

* * *

The moon shone down as Splinter silently crouched behind a dumpster. Not just any dumpster, mind you, but the exact same dumpster he had hidden inside just a single day earlier.

Normally if he was on the surface it was to gather supplies, but tonight was different. Tonight he was on a mission.

This mission consisted of four steps.

Step 1: Find those Perfect Parents.

Step 2: Watch them to learn their secrets.

Step 3: Apply said secrets.

Step 4: Become the ultimate dad.

Though the plan mostly made sense in his mind, there was a small part of Splinter that realized that this entire mission was a combination of desperation and extreme sleep deprivation. Still, if it meant being a better parent he was more than willing to put up with some slight awkwardness at going around and looking in people's windows.

As Splinter sat behind the dumpster slowly common sense began seeping into his brain. What was he thinking? Just because they walked by here last night didn't mean they'd do it again tonight.

Could it be that the stress was getting to him? That he had gone completely off the rails in the pursuit of some parental secret that may not even exist? That this entire thing was just some completely crazy—

Splinter stiffened as the perfect parents and their perfectly clothed twins walked down the sidewalk in front of him.

Common Sense: 0

Mad Desperation: 1

As they passed by the end of his alley Splinter quickly shot up a nearby fire escape and onto the roof of the building, his eyes never leaving the perfect looking couple.

After about thirty minutes of being a total creeper and following their every move, Splinter finally watched as they entered their apartment building.

He quickly leapt the last few remaining rooftops before jumping on the building's fire escape.

Step 1 was complete. He had found the building where these perfect parents lived. Now he just needed to find the window to their apartment and it was on to Step 2.

As Splinter scaled the building his new rat nose picked up a very familiar scent.

Baby powder.

He quickly followed his nose to the source of the smell and glanced in the window.

Inside an extremely tired looking couple worked in tandem trying to change a baby's diaper…or at least he thought that was what they were doing.

As the half-asleep looking dad removed the diaper the half-asleep looking mom started applying baby powder the box of baby wipes next to the actual baby.

The mom held out a new diaper to the dad, who grabbed it without looking and slowly proceeded to apply it to the exact same box of baby wipes.

The mom then picked up the baby wipes and the two exhausted parents slowly trudged out of the room leaving the actual baby behind.

Splinter stared dumbfounded for a good ten seconds before the parents came trudging back in and proceeded to diaper the actual baby.

Splinter glanced away from the window. He may be sleep deprived, but he had yet to reach quite that level. I mean, sure, he'd once accidentally grabbed a baby bottle instead of his morning tea and chugged a full three ounces of milk and worms before realizing it, but—

" _Aaaaaaaaaaaah!"_

The sound of a crying baby reached Splinter's keen ears.

He scaled a little further up the building before looking inside a new window.

Inside he watched as a father wearing an apron paced angrily around the room with a phone in his hand while a baby cried beside him.

"What do you mean you won't be home tonight?...I know how important the negotiations are, but it's hard here too! I have been looking after _our_ baby for three days straight with no break and I need HELP!"

Splinter cringed as he watched the poor parent have a mini-mental breakdown.

He quickly looked away to give the frazzled father some privacy, but as he thought about the poor, haggard man he had seen inside the apartment he had to admit he felt…better after seeing that he wasn't the only dad struggling to take care of his children.

Still, he had to complete his mission.

Splinter quickly moved along the fire escape peering into window after window as he search for his quarry.

He had just about given up hope when he finally saw them. The perfect pair of parents pushing the stroller into a…surprisingly messy apartment.

"Mrs. Shapero!" called the female of the two.

Splinter quirked an eyebrow as a haggard yet smiling woman made her way into the living room.

"How'd they behave?" asked Mrs. Shapero.

"Wonderfully." said the female. "How'd you enjoy your nap?"

"It was beautiful. The time you two spend babysitting is the only time I can count on a full three hours sleep."

Splinter's jaw dropped. The perfect parents…weren't parents?

It all made sense now! No wonder they looked so clean and well rested. They were baby sitters!

Mrs. Shapero picked up the two babies, holding them lovingly in each arm.

"Thanks so much for letting us watch them." said the male of the couple.

"It's great practice for when we have one of our own." said the female.

"Any time." said Mrs. Shapero. "Having a new baby is one of the most exhausting things I've ever done in my entire life."

She looked down at her children with a smile. "And I wouldn't trade it for the world."

Splinter smiled as he slipped away from the window and began his stealthy decent down the fire escape.

It was silly of him to think there was some great secret to being a perfect parent. All parents had a hard time dealing with newborns no matter how skilled they were.

As Splinter made his way back towards his algae covered home he made a new plan.

Step 1: Make it home.

Step 2: Go to the nursery.

Step 3: Take care of whichever children needed to be changed, fed, or held.

And Step 4: Cherish every moment of it.

* * *

 **Author's Note: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!**

 **Yes, I know it's a bit after New Year, but I still wanted to wish everyone the most awesome of New Years as we make our way towards the end of January. So far I've had an absolutely wonderful month and I hope you have too!**

 **Chapter 15 is here, and I super hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think of this latest chapter. Thank you so hyper much for reading, and, as always, have a Hyper Happy Day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	16. Story Time

**Story Time**

 **Age:** _5 years_

BOOOOOOOOM!

Thunder rumbled across the night sky above New York City as rain mercilessly pounded the city streets.

Down far below the streets of New York, tucked safely away in his sewer home, sat Splinter on his bed. And crowded around him, pressed firmly against all sides, were his four turtle children, clinging to his robes for dear life.

BOOOOOOOOM!

The children flinched, gripping his robes even tighter as the sound of thunder echoed through the tunnels.

It had been this way for hours.

After the storm started Michelangelo had been the very first to arrive in his room. He dove straight into Splinter's bed like seagull into the ocean, roughly jarring Splinter from what had once been a peaceful sleep and swaddling himself in Splinter's covers until it formed a protective dome. His youngest was never afraid to admit when he was afraid.

Next had come Donatello. Unlike Michelangelo he had come quietly, as if his voice had been quelled by the loud noises around him. He arrived at Splinter's doorway and clung to the doorframe as he asked to join them. Naturally, Splinter welcomed him onto the bed.

Raphael and Leonardo had come together not long after. Leonardo attempted to play it off as if he was checking on the others before asking to join them, and Raphael, never one to admit he was afraid, simply slid onto the bed without so much as a word, a stormy expression on his face as if daring anyone to ask him why he was there.

But the time for denial had long past, as now all four children clung to him with open expressions of fear.

Splinter had hoped that the storm would pass so he and the children could get some sleep. But after two hours of thunder, pounding rain, and the occasional scream from his children, he realized that he would have to find a different way to ease his children into slumber.

As he sat nestled in the covers with his children an idea slowly began to blossom in his mind.

"The thunder is scary, isn't it?" asked Splinter with a smile.

"No!" shouted Raphael, though he flinched as soon as another round of thunder exploded overhead.

"Perhaps a story would help to pass the time until the storm ends."

"I like stories!" shouted Michelangelo.

"Me too!" echoed Donatello.

"What kind of story?" asked Leonardo.

"It is called 'The Brave Rat Samurai.'" said Splinter. Immediately all eyes locked on him. Splinter smiled as he began the story.

"There was once a mighty, rat samurai who was the strongest warrior in all the land. He was so strong that when he faced his enemies they would take one look at him and flee to the hills."

"That's strong." said Leonardo.

"Yes it is. No warrior in all the land was his equal, but the rat samurai had a problem: He was terrified of thunder."

"What's 'terrified?'" asked Michelangelo.

"It's a word that means very very scared."

"Like us?" asked Donatello.

"Speak for yourself!" said Raphael, though clearly no one was convinced.

"Yes, just like you. Only more so!" continued Splinter. "The samurai was sooo scared of thunder that whenever it even looked like a storm might come he went into his house, hid under his bed, and wouldn't come out for a whooole day."

"What happened to him?" asked Leonardo.

"Well, one day he finally grew tired of his fear of thunder. So, he set out on a quest to find some way to conquer his fear. First he traveled deep, deep down into a mystic cave where he found a magic amulet that made him stronger than a hundred oxen! It made him so strong, that with its power he lifted a boulder ten times his size over his head and threw it all the way across the kingdom!"

"That sounds awesome!" exclaimed Raphael.

"Yes it was, but when the storm came and the thunder rumbled he was still afraid."

"What?!"

"How could he be afraid if he was so strong?" asked Leonardo.

"That's what he wondered. So, he continued his quest. Next, he climbed a tall, tall mountain where he found a magic pair of sandals that made him faster than a thousand tigers. They made him so fast that he dropped a pebble and ran up and down the mountain ten times before it ever touched the ground!"

"He's like a superhero!" exclaimed Michelangelo.

"Indeed." continued Splinter. "But when the storm came and the thunder rumbled he was still afraid."

"Still?!" asked Raphael.

"What happened next?" asked Donatello.

"Next, he traveled to see a mighty dragon who gave him a magic sword so powerful that it could cut a mountain right in two! He took the sword, turned to a mountain, and chopped it up into a million tiny pieces!"

"Like the time you used a sword to make fruit salad." commented Michelangelo.

Splinter laughed. "Yes, just like that."

"Was he over his fear now?" asked Leonardo.

"Yeah! Did the sword make him brave?" asked Raphael.

Splinter shook his head.

"No. When the storm came and the thunder rumbled he was still afraid."

"After all that?!" asked Raphael.

"Does he ever stop being afraid?" asked Donatello.

"You'll have to listen to the rest of the story to find out." said Splinter.

"Tell us! Tell us!" said Michelangelo.

"Pleeaaaase!" begged Leonardo.

Splinter laughed.

"Alright. Well, after the sword failed to cure the rat samurai of his fear he began the long journey back home, convinced that he would never get over his fear of thunder. But then, as he was on his way home, he stopped at a pond for lunch. And what should he find in that pond but four, little baby turtles."

"Like us!" shouted Raphael.

"Yes, just like you. The moment the rat samurai saw them his heart instantly swelled with love. He picked up the turtles, held them tight against his chest, and when the storm came and the thunder rumbled he found, much to his surprise, that he wasn't afraid anymore. His love for the turtles had filled his heart with soooo much love that there wasn't any room for fear."

The four little turtles smiled up at Splinter even as a boom of thunder rumbled overhead.

"The mighty rat samurai took the four, little turtles home and adopted them as his beloved children. And whenever the thunder would come and fear would start to wiggle its way into his heart, he would grab his children, hold them tight against his chest."

Splinter grabbed the tiny turtles and hugged them against his chest.

"And the love he had for his children would fill his heart so full of love that all his fears would disappear. And he and the children lived Happily Ever After."

The four tiny turtles yawned as they snuggled into Splinter's arms.

"That was a good story." said Michelangelo sleepily.

"I liked the part with the dragon." yawned Raphael. "The rest was good too."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. But now, it is time for sleep."

"Night night." said Donatello as he and his brothers lay down in the bed.

"Good night." said Splinter.

"I love you, Daddy." said Leonardo just before he and his brothers drifted off to sleep.

Splinter smiled as he looked down upon his children.

"And I love you, my sons."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi Hi everyone!**

 **A new chapter is here! YAAAAY! I absolutely loved writing this chapter, and I super hope you loved reading it. Let me know what you think of this latest chapter. Thank you so hyper much for reading, and, as always, have a Hyper Happy Day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	17. Blame Game

**Blame Game**

 **Age:** _Seven Years_

"Daddy! Daddy!"

"Don't listen to him!"

Splinter walked into the living room where he saw Leo sprinting towards him with an angry looking Raph hot on his tail.

Leo ducked behind Splinter, bobbing and weaving as Raph tried to reach around him and grab his slightly older brother.

"Yame!" shouted Splinter, causing both boys to stop their chaotic game of ring around the Splinter. "Now, what seems to be the problem?"

"Raph drew on Mikey while he was taking a nap!" shouted Leo.

"Did not!" shouted Raph.

Splinter pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Michelangelo!" shouted Splinter.

Splinter waited for a few moments before Michelangelo walked groggily into the room, his face and shell completely covered with black marker drawings ranging from the monocle and mustache on his face to the "Raph is cool" graffiti on his stomach.

"Is it lunch time?" asked Mikey, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes completely unaware of his newly painted shell.

"See?" asked Leo.

"Tattletale!" shouted Raph, once more trying to grab his brother.

"Enough!" shouted Splinter. He sighed as he pondered what to do.

Truth be told incidents like these had been occurring all too often. It had been going on for the past two weeks. For some unknown reason Raphael was going through a bit of a trouble making phase. It had started off small when he had hidden one of Donatello's books under his bed, but soon it escalated to things like sticking mud in Leo's toy chest or, most recently, practicing art on his little brother.

As fate would have it though, Raphael's trouble making phase also lined up exactly with Leonardo's new "tattletale" phase. While Raphael was making trouble, Leonardo had taken to reporting on every little infraction of the rules his brothers undertook. And while keeping tabs on Raphael's latest pranks was helpful, reports on Donatello not sweeping properly or Michelangelo not chewing with his mouth closed were not.

"Raphael." said Splinter. "For drawing on your brother you will have no toys for a week _and_ you will arrive an hour early to training tomorrow for extra kata practice."

"What?!" shouted Raphael, however a quick look from Splinter silenced any further objection.

"Now, go to your room."

Raph glared at Leo before stomping off angrily down the hallway.

Splinter turned to Leo.

"Leonardo, while I am thankful that you told me what your brother did, perhaps in the future you can let me know more quietly rather than yelling it down the hallway."

"Yes, Daddy." said Leo with a smile, though Splinter doubted he would in any way attempt to follow his request.

He sighed again before walking over to Mikey.

"Come along, Michelangelo. It's time for a bath."

Mikey yawned, still clearly half asleep.

"Can there be bubbles?" asked Mikey sleepily.

Splinter turned the sleepy child towards the bathroom, revealing a large drawing of a monster attacking a city across the entirety of his back.

"Oh, yes." said Splinter. "There will be bubbles."

* * *

SHINK!

Splinter's blade whipped through the air as he performed a kata in the middle of the dojo.

On the side of the dojo sat his four children all staring with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

Raphael was the least enthusiastic, clearly burnt out on kata after his early morning hour of extra training.

Donatello was at least a little more excited as he analyzed his father's quick movements.

Michelangelo was usually the most excited of any of his children to see something new, be it a kata, comic, or whatever. He sat on the sidelines in rapt enthusiasm even as the faded marker from yesterday's event continued to decorate his face and shell despite Splinter's best efforts to remove it.

But not even Michelangelo's enthusiasm could match that of Leonardo. Leo loved anything having to do with ninja training. He prided himself on being the most dedicated student of his brothers. But that wasn't why he was staring with wide eyed wonder today.

It was the sword.

The shiny, silver katana in Splinter's hands was one of Leo's favorite things in the whole world. The way it shined as it sliced through the air. The way it sparkled every time Splinter moved. To Leo the katana was the epitome of ninja awesomeness.

Oh, how he wished he could wield a real blade instead of the wooden practice swords that he and his brothers were allowed.

As Splinter finished demonstrating their newest kata for the third time in a row, he lowered the blade to his side and turned to his children.

"That is the new kata we will be learning tomorrow. Think on what I showed you today, and come in tomorrow ready to put it into practice."

"Hai, sensei!" said the children in unison.

"Good. Now go grab your school supplies and wash up for snack time. I will join you in a moment."

The children got up and walked towards the living room with Raph in the front and Leo in the rear.

Just as Leo was about to exit the dojo he watched as Splinter placed the katana in the weapon's closet. He shut the door to the closet, walked into his room at the back of the dojo, and closed the doors behind him.

Normally, this would have been just like any other day. But the thing that made this day different?

He forgot to lock the closet door.

Leo stared at the unguarded closet.

Slowly, he stepped back into the dojo.

He ran across the dojo and hid against the side of the closet furthest away from Splinter's door.

Splinter walked out of his room, strolled across the dojo, and made his way towards the living room to set up for school lessons.

This was Leo's chance. Maybe the only chance he would ever get _ever!_

He slipped around to the front of the weapons closet, his tiny heart pounding.

Leo was a good boy. And he was the best ninja out of all his brothers. Surely, Splinter wouldn't mind if he just _touched_ the katana, right?

Leo nodded, convinced by his own logic. Slowly, he opened the doors to the weapons closet revealing a giant array of super cool ninja weapons. There were nunchucks and sais and a big mace thing. But there, hanging on the side door, was the coolest of them all: the katana.

Carefully, Leo stood on his tippy toes, trying desperately to reach the handle of the katana inside the closet.

No good. He wasn't tall enough. Still, he would not be denied.

He quickly ran to the wooden practice weapons and grabbed a jo staff.

He sprinted back to the closet and, with the jo staff in hand, he used the staff to poke the katana out of its holding hooks.

Leo jumped back as the katana clattered to the dojo's carpeted floors.

He held his breath, his eyes immediately flying to the dojo entrance.

Ten seconds past. Fifteen.

He let out his held breath. He was safe.

With a look of awestruck wonder he picked up the katana. It was nearly as tall as he was. Way longer than the short, wooden bokken he and his brothers practiced with.

With careful precision, he held the blade just like he had his bokken, his small arms struggling just a little to adjust to the extra weight.

"Hyah." He whispered as he swung the blade slowly through the air.

This was so cool!

He reeled back to try it at full speed.

"Hy—"

Suddenly, Raph walked into the dojo.

"Hey, Leo! You in her—"

"Aaaah!"

Leo SCREAMED at Raph's sudden entrance in the middle of his swing.

He was so scared, in fact, that he completely forgot he was holding a sword!

With Leo's concentration gone the blade FLEW out of his hands and straight through Splinter's bedroom door.

CRASH!

"What was that?!" shouted Splinter from somewhere in the distance.

Leo and Raph looked at the pierced door and then at each other.

Slowly, a smug smile spread across Raph's face.

"Please, don't tell!" shouted Leo in a fearful whisper as he ran over to Raph.

Raph's smile grew even more smug.

"Please, don't tell!" whispered Leo more frantically as Splinter's footsteps grew ever closer.

"Leo's in trouble~" sang Raph softly like it was his favorite song in the world.

The footsteps were almost to the dojo entrance.

"You can't!"

"Now, it's your turn for extra kata practice." whispered Raph, his grin threatening to break the sides of his face.

Splinter walked through the archway.

"What happened?" asked Splinter.

Raph opened his mouth to speak.

"Raph was playing with the katana and accidently threw it through your door!" shouted Leo.

All the joy immediately drained from Raph's face.

"What?!"

Splinter glared at Raph before his eye shifted to his newly sliced door. Why was it that whenever something went wrong in the dojo it was always his room that suffered?

He marched over to his door and opened it, surveying the damage. One broken vase, as he had pretty much expected from both the sound and his past history with vases, and one katana stabbed neatly into his mattress.

He jerked the katana from his mattress, anger burning in his eyes.

"But it wasn't me!" shouted Raph.

"Enough!" said Splinter.

He marched over to the two boys with katana in hand.

"You know very well that touching any of the weapons in the weapons closet is strictly forbidden. You could have hurt yourself or your brothers! What would have happened if this had gone flying into the living room while your little brothers were playing?!"

"It really was an accident." said Leo soberly, his foot twisting anxiously against the carpet.

"While I appreciate you defending your brother," said Splinter. "What he did was wrong _and_ dangerous. Therefore, Raphael, tomorrow you will scrub this entire dojo from top to bottom _and_ you will have no play time at all for the next two weeks!"

"But that's not fair! Leo—"

"Yame! Now, go to your room!"

Raph stood with a mixture of shock, anger, and betrayal burning across his face. He turned to Leo with a furious glare, pinpricks of tears dotting the corners of his eyes before he turned and fled from the room.

Splinter let out a long sigh.

"Go join your brothers for snack time." said Splinter to Leo as the tiny turtle stood with his eyes glued to the carpet. "I will join you after I finish cleaning up this mess."

Leo nodded. He trudged towards the archway, his sullen eyes never leaving the ground.

* * *

Raphael stood with his arms crossed as Splinter laid the cleaning supplies down in front of him.

"You are not to leave the dojo until every inch is spotless. Understood?"

Raphael neglected to reply.

"Understood?" said Splinter more firmly.

Raph slowly nodded, his ire fighting him every inch of the way.

"Good."

Splinter turned and walked out the archway leaving the angry turtle to his task.

Raphael stomped over to the bucket of soapy water and grabbed the scrub brush from inside. Splinter had already taken the liberty of rolling up all the carpets in the dojo and moving them to the side of the room, so that just left Raph with scrubbing the concrete floors beneath them. Unfortunately for him the dojo had a large amount of floor space, and Raphael was a very small turtle.

He started scrubbing the floor, working out all his frustration by gridding the brush as hard as he could against the concrete.

After perhaps five minutes of scrubbing in real time and fifty thousand hours of scrubbing in Raph time, he heard a pair of footsteps walking into the dojo.

Raph turned, half expecting to see Splinter come back to make sure he was actually scrubbing.

Instead, he saw Leo standing in the doorway with his arms loaded with coloring books, crayons, and toys.

Raph glared. He stood up.

"Get out of here Leo before I scrub your face off!"

Leo ignored the insult. Instead he walked over to Raph, shoved all the play time implements right into Raph's arms, much to Raph's surprise, and grabbed the scrub brush from his hands.

As Raph stood there with arms full of fun time activities, Leo got down and started scrubbing the floors where Raph had started.

Raph watched him for a moment, unsure what to make of his brother's strange behavior.

"What are you doing?" asked Raph finally. He had hoped to come up with an insult to sling in there as well, but his confusion overwhelmed his desire to put down his treacherous brother.

"I'm scrubbing the floors. Duh."

Raph narrowed his eyes.

"Why?"

"Everyone knows I'm better at cleaning." said Leo dismissively. "You should just color or something. I'll finish the dojo."

Raph glared. A small war waged inside him. On one side was his desire to just let Leo clean the dojo floors. He didn't want to do them, and honestly it was much more fun to watch Leo do his chores than it was to do them himself.

But on the other side was his desire to not be shown up by his smug older brother. And unfortunately for both of them his rebellious nature beat his lazy nature almost every time.

"Hey!" shouted Raph. "Splinter told me to scrub the floors! Not you!"

"You'd just mess them up. Stick to your toys."

Raph growled.

He dropped the armful of toys.

"Give me that scrub brush!"

Raph hurled himself across the dojo right into Leo, knocking both his brother and the bucket of soapy water over.

The two boys wrestled across the flooded floor, crying out as they struggled for control of the cleaning implement.

"It's my chore!"

"I said go play!"

Splinter walked into the room.

"What is…"

He trailed off as he watched two of his children fighting over a cleaning implement.

He had seen a lot of things being a parent, but this…this was a new one.

He shook his head.

"Yame!"

The two boys froze.

Raph scrambled to his feet.

"Leo tried to do my chores!" shouted Raph.

"I'm better at cleaning than he is!"

"Are not!"

"Am too!"

Splinter stared. His children were fighting…over cleaning. Was it opposite day?

"Enough!" said Splinter. "Just…go to your rooms!"

"But—"

"Go!"

The two children stomped out of the room as Splinter stood still trying to process what was going on.

He turned as his children marched down the hallway.

"And no cleaning!"

* * *

Later that night Splinter stood in the kitchen boiling a cup of tea. It was almost midnight, and his children had gone to bed hours ago. Normally he would have gone to bed by now as well, but the day's events were still plaguing his mind.

He tried to sort things out step by step.

1) Raphael was supposed to clean the dojo as punishment for playing with the katana.

2) Leonardo tries to clean the dojo instead of Raphael.

3) Instead of letting Leonardo clean the dojo, Raphael fights Leonardo over the right to clean the dojo.

4) Splinter goes insane because his children make no sense.

Splinter shook his head. Whatever happened to the days when a child could just get punished and be done with it?

As Splinter walked towards the living room with his tea his keen ears picked up a strange sound.

 _Scritch. Scritch. Scritch._

He stopped, perking his ears up in the air as he tried to figure out where it was coming from. Slowly, he moved around the room until he could determine the source of the sound.

The dojo.

Splinter sighed.

Taking a small sip of his tea he slowly trudged towards the dojo entrance, almost afraid of what he would find on the other side.

He walked through the archway.

Nothing.

He walked inside, looking around for the source of the sound.

As he walked across the dojo his foot came in contact with something wet.

He looked down at a spot on the floor where water and a small pool of bubbles clung to the concrete.

His eyes narrowed.

He looked more closely at the floor noticing a small trail of water leading away from the offending spot. He followed the trail of water across the dojo like a blood hound until finally he came to a set of rolled up carpets leaning against the wall.

He pushed away the carpets revealing none other than Leonardo, holding a scrub brush in one hand and a bucket of soapy water in the other.

"Uh..Hi, Daddy." he said with a nervous smile.

Splinter was not amused.

"Is there a reason you are trying to clean the dojo in the middle of the night?"

"I thought if I started now I could get it done before morning training." he said matter-of-factly.

"That's not...I mean, why are you trying to clean the dojo?"

"So it won't be dirty."

Eeeeeeerg! Curse this child and his answers that weren't answers!

Splinter pinched the bridge of his nose. He chose his next words very carefully.

"While I…am grateful that you want to clean, it is Raphael's job to clean the dojo. Not yours."

"Raph stinks at cleaning." said Leo as he walked back over to where he had started to clean. "You should just let him play. I can clean the dojo."

Leo started scrubbing the floors.

Something was wrong. While it was true that Leo liked to clean far more than his brothers, this was excessive even for him.

"Alright." said Splinter slowly. "Perhaps instead I will have Raphael wash the dishes."

"Raph stinks at washing dishes." said Leo. "You should just let me do it."

' _Huh.'_ thought Splinter.

"You know, perhaps you are right. Maybe I'll have him come early to kata practice every day for the next two weeks."

"Kata isn't really Raph's thing." said Leo. "I could do it for him."

"Hmmmmmmm." said Splinter thoughtfully. Slowly the pieces were starting to come together. He smiled.

"Thank you, Leonardo. You have inspired me."

Leo looked up at him. "I have?"

"Yes. I have decided that cleaning and kata practice are faaar too light a punishment for Raphael."

"You have?" asked Leo miserably.

"Yes. For Raphael's punishment he is no longer allowed to be a ninja ever again."

"What?!" shouted Leo.

"As you said, he clearly has no interest in kata."

"But Raph loves being a ninja!"

"He broke the rules and for that he must be punished."

"You can't!"

"And why not?"

"Because…because it was me!" shouted Leo. "I was the one who played with the katana! I blamed Raph because I didn't want you to think I was a bad son! Please let Raph be a ninja!"

Splinter smiled as Leo clung desperately to his robes. Nooooow it all made sense.

Splinter knelt down to look Leo in the eyes.

"I am very disappointed in you Leonardo. Playing with the katana was wrong, but letting your brother take the blame was much worse."

Leo looked away.

"I tried to do his punishment for him. I just didn't want you to know I did something wrong."

"Taking your brother's punishment doesn't make it right. Tomorrow you will clean both the dojo and the entire living room. And you will apologize to Raphael first thing in the morning. Understood?"

"Yes, Daddy."

Leo sniffled as small tears started to form in his eyes. Splinter grabbed him in a hug.

"Do you think I'm a bad son?" asked Leo as he clutched Splinter's robes.

"I could never think you were a bad son no matter what you did." responded Splinter. "I will always love you. No matter what."

Leo tightened his grip on his father, his tears soaking into Splinter's robe.

A new set of footsteps entered the dojo.

Splinter and Leo turned to see Raphael standing in the doorway with a scrub brush and a bucket of soapy water.

Raphael froze, his eyes taking in the entire scene. He saw the bucket of water and scrub brush next to Leo.

His face clouded with anger.

"No fair! Daddy told me to clean the dojo! Me!"

Splinter sighed.

One weird problem down.

And one even weirder problem to go.

* * *

 _Scritch. Scritch. Scritch._

Leo smiled as he happily scrubbed the living room floors, the sound of the brush scrubbing the concrete practically music to his tiny turtle ears.

Raph watched from the side with a smug grin.

"Leo's in trouble~ Leo's in trouble~" he sang, the joy of seeing his perfect brother being punished better than all the cookies in the world…maybe.

"You're just jealous because I'm better at cleaning than you are." said Leo with a superior smile.

"Are not!" said Raph.

"Raph's bad at cleaning~ Raph's bad at cleaning~" sang Leo.

Raph growled.

"Stop singing before I pound ya!"

"Daddy!" called Leo. "Raph says he's gonna pound me!"

"Be quiet!"

"Daddy! Raph's yelling at me to be quiet!"

" _Boooooooooys!"_

* * *

 **Author's Note: HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!**

 **It's the time of year for Hope, Joy, tons of yummy chocolate, and Gratitude for all the amazing Blessings we've been given. And, as it so happens, it's also time for a new chapter of Adventures in Parenting!**

 **I have big news everyone! Adventures in Parenting has been nominated for the TMNT Universal Fanfic Competition! YAAAAAY! It's been nominated for the category of Cutest Chibi. I'm so grateful for this amazing honor and all your absolutely wonderful support! I am so Blessed to have you guys as readers, and I can't thank you enough for being the awesome people that you are. You guys ROCK OUT LOUD!**

 **Let me know what you think of this latest chapter. Thank you so hyper much, and, once again, HAPPY EASTER! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	18. Pie Day

**Pie Day**

 **Age:** _Sixteen_

Two warriors faced off in the middle of the dojo.

On one side stood Mikey, kusarigama in hand with a confident smile splayed across his face.

And on the other side stood none other than Master Splinter himself, an equally confident smile shining underneath his whiskers.

"Are you ready, my son?" asked Splinter.

Mikey raised his blade.

"Bring it on!"

Splinter smiled as he raised his hand revealing his weapon of choice: An entire carton…of blueberries.

"Hajime!"

Splinter took one step forward as he began firing the blueberries towards Mikey the exact same way he would throw a set of throwing stars.

Mikey was ready.

As the blue projectiles soared towards the orange clad ninja he quickly swung his blade as fast as he possibly could, the sharpened steel of the kusarigama slicing through the tiny targets with as much precision and accuracy as he could muster.

The onslaught continued for what felt like hours but in reality spanned only a few minutes as the two halves of each berry fell into a set of large bowls on either side of the turtle.

When the last berry was sliced Mikey stood panting in the middle of the dojo, his arms tired but a triumphant grin still spread across his face.

Splinter smiled, a warm glow of pride warming his chest. Though his youngest child was an extremely dedicated and gifted ninja, when it came to volunteering for extra training he tended to prefer skate boarding or comic books to perfecting his ninja arts. But today was different.

Today was Pie Day.

Pie Day was a tradition that his children had started when they were seven. One day in March Donatello, who was by that time studying middle school level lessons on math and science thanks to his Detective Beaker books, mentioned to his brothers that there was a mathematical term known as "Pi," the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a circle.

Leonardo and Raphael couldn't have cared less, as would be expected from a pair of seven year olds, but Michelangelo was enthralled by the concept. Not because of any love of math or numbers, but because the mathematical term pi sounded exactly like the dessert pie.

He had asked Donatello numerous questions about the number, mostly to see if there were more dessert numbers out there, and after he found out that the value of pi was 3.14, he declared that every March 14th (Or the 14th day of the 3rd month) would be known as Pie Day, a day where together he and his entire family would make and eat pies.

At first his brothers had just gone along with it for the pie, but as the years past Pie Day became an important family tradition, one that Splinter looked forward to almost as much as Michelangelo. The family would spend the whole day preparing, and that night Splinter and his children would gather together in the kitchen to make delectable Pie Day treats. And since Michelangelo was the best cook of the family, he would always lead the preparations with all the dedication and artistry of a professional chef.

"How'd I do?" asked Mikey as he stood triumphantly over the bowls of chopped blue berries.

Splinter walked over to the bowls and started looking over the berries. This berry exercise was just the latest in Michelangelo's Pie Day training. Every March Splinter had the joy of seeing his normally free spirited son take on a dedication to training that almost rivaled that of Leonardo. He would spend hours researching new recipes and culinary techniques, and once he had decided on his recipes he would train himself to be able to accomplish them with both precision and flair. And whether he was strengthening his arms to knead dough, improving his speed to whisk batter, or, as in this case, practicing his blade work for chopping ingredients, Splinter was always there to help him. A little father/son bonding time that the ninja master cherished more than all the pies in the world.

Splinter looked up from the berries.

"24 whole. 163 chopped."

Mikey pumped his fist in the air.

"Booyakasha! A new record!"

"Well done, my son." said Splinter. "Blueberries are a most difficult target to master given their small size."

"Thanks Master Splinter. I want everything to be perfect for Pie Day this year. I've got this sweet family theme planned out. A blueberry pie for Leo, a raspberry pie for Raph, a mulberry pie for Donnie, an orange meringue pie for yours truly, and for you, my latest invention: a pie filled with eight different kinds of cheese wrapped inside a mozzarella infused crust. I call it 'The Cheesanator!'"

Splinter could feel the saliva pooling in his mouth at his son's description.

"I am sure it shall be the best Pie Day yet." said Splinter. "Now come. Let us fetch your brothers."

Mikey nodded. The two exited the dojo and walked towards the living room.

Inside the living room they saw Raph, Casey, Donnie, and Leonardo scattered about the room.

"What's up, bros?" asked Mikey cheerfully. "Better grab your chef hats, cause it's pie time! Raph, you can start—"

"No can do, pie for brains." said Raph. "Casey and I are heading to a pro hockey game."

"What?" asked Mikey, the smile disappearing from his face.

"I found this dope spot that Raph and I can hide in so he can actually watch the game." said Casey. "It's gonna be sweet!"

He and Raph high fived.

Mikey stared.

"But—"

"I'm afraid I'll have to skip it as well." said Donnie as he packed some books into a book bag. "April asked me to come over to her house to help her with her homework. Me! It'll be just her, me, and six text books worth of trigonometry."

The tall turtle sighed, hearts practically dancing in his eyes as he imagined himself and the girl of his dreams alone in a mathematical paradise.

Mikey stared, his heart practically breaking before Splinter's eyes.

"My sons." started Splinter. "Perhaps—"

Mikey quickly put on a smile.

"It's okay, sensei. Leo and I can—"

"Sorry, Mikey." said Leo as he slipped his katana onto his back. "There are rumors that the Purple Dragons are having a top secret meeting at their new hideout down by the pier, so I plan to do some recon and see if I can sneak in. It's just too important to pass up."

Mikey's shoulders sagged as he watched all three of his brothers preparing to leave.

"But Pie Day…"

"Sorry, Mikey." said Donatello. "We're just too old for Pie Day."

Raph, Casey, Donnie, and Leo all headed for the turnstiles.

"Later, Mikey!" shouted Casey.

Leo turned as he walked through the turnstiles.

"We'll bake pies some other time. I promise. Have fun you two!"

As Leo jogged out into the tunnels Mikey watched in complete despair, his Pie Day plans crumbling like a bad graham cracker crust.

* * *

"Go Ducks!"

Casey and Raph screamed their cheers, adding their encouragement to the roar of over a thousand other hockey fans.

The stadium was packed on all sides as the two teams down on the ice SLAMMED against each other, vying for control of the puck.

And where were Casey and Raph in all this?

Hidden waaaaay up in the rafters of the stadium, looking down on all the action from just above the scoreboard. They were far enough away so that no one in the stadium could see them, and close enough that they had a perfect bird's eye view of all the action.

One of the Ducks SLAMMED an opposing player into the glass.

"Yeah!" shouted Raph. "Man, this is awesome!"

"I know, right?" replied Casey. "This is Bone Crusher Bronson's last game before he retires. He holds the record for most bones broken by a single player."

Casey pointed to an extremely large man skating on the rink. Just as one of the opposing players went for the puck, Bronson TACKLED them into the wall reducing the poor soul to a crumpled heap of pain and misery on the ice rink.

Raph wiped his eye with a smile.

"It's a thing of beauty."

Raph's stomach growled.

"Woah." said Casey. "Are you hungry or is there a giant Kraang worm living in your stomach?"

Raph shoved Casey playfully.

"What do you think, genius?"

"No sweat." said Casey as he pulled up a large tote bag. "I brought hot dogs, popcorn, soda pop."

Raph waved it off.

"Nah. It's weird. It's like I'm hungry, but I don't know for what."

"Well, excuse me for not bringing the escargot."

Casey bowed like a maitre d', causing Raph to smack him on the head.

A whistle blew down below.

"Intermission, bro." said Casey. "Want me to go check out the snack stand for something more suited to your refined tastes?"

"Just give me a hot dog, and shut up." said Raph.

Casey tossed him a dog.

" _Hello? Is this thing on?"_

Casey and Raph both looked below as Bone Crusher Bronson stood in the penalty box holding a microphone.

The burly man smiled as he confirmed that the mic was indeed working.

"To all yous hockey fans out there. This has been a great season. I scored some goals, I broke some bones, and best of all I kicked major butt!"

The crowd cheered.

"Thank you. Thank you. As you know this is my last game. It's been an awesome journey these past twenty years. I could never a done what I done if it weren't for you guys. But most of all, I wanted to thank my family."

He pointed to the side of the stadium where a buff woman and two kids sat holding foam fingers.

"My family means everything to me. They supported me through the good. The bad. The times I ended up in the hospital, and the times I brought home the gold. I know I ain't always been there, but now that I'm retirin' I wanna be there for them as much as possible. This game's for you guys!"

The crowd roared their approval as Bronson raised the mic to his family on the side lines.

Casey clapped like a maniac.

"Man. Isn't he great?"

He turned to see Raph staring at Bronson in silence, his hot dog slowly starting to slip off the bun and into his lap.

* * *

"No, the secant needs to be in the second half of the equation."

"Donnie."

"Now if you take this number."

"Donnie."

"And put it here."

"Donnie!"

April huffed in frustration as Donnie finally stopped rambling about the equation in her text book.

"When I asked you to come over to help me with my homework, I wanted you to _help_ me with my homework. Not do it for me."

"I know that, but if you'd just let me—"

"No!" April grabbed the pencil out of Donnie's hand. "No more pencil privileges for you."

"But April—"

"I said no! Don't make me take away your text book."

Donnie clammed up, sitting rigid in his chair as April gave him a warning glare.

The two held that pose for just a moment before they burst out laughing.

April wiped a tear from her eyes. "Uuuuh, I think it's time for a snack break. Be right back."

April got up from her chair and headed for the door.

Donnie waited until she was a good distance down the hallway before he made to grab for the pencil.

"And don't touch that pencil!"

Donnie quickly pushed away from the desk, his chair accidently tipping over in the process—

"Wah!"

-And causing the tall turtle to SLAM right onto April's bedroom floor.

He lay on the floor rubbing his head, one of April's socks plastered on his face.

April walked back in carrying two plates.

She eyed the strange scene with a smile.

"Okay there, Donnie?"

Donnie quickly popped up from the floor.

"What? Who? Me? Pfft. Perfect."

The sock slowly slid down his cheek. He quickly peeled it off and shoved it behind his back.

April laughed. She handed him a plate.

"Here."

Donnie looked at her with a wistful smile.

"Thanks, April."

He looked down at the plate.

His smile vanished.

"Pie?"

And indeed it was. There, sitting on the plate, was a single slice of strawberry pie topped with a dollop of whip cream.

"Of course." said April, digging in. "It is pi day."

Donnie's eyes shot to her.

"What?"

"You know? Pi day? March 14th?"

Donnie looked down at the pie.

"I thought only Mikey celebrated pie day?"

"Well, it's not like it's a big holiday or anything. It's just a fun day to eat pie." She swallowed a mouth full. "Now, hurry up and eat. We still have a lot of problems to go over."

April shoved another bite of pie in her mouth as Donnie's eyes remained glued to the plate.

* * *

 _Grrrrrrrrr_.

"Shhhhh."

Leo lay down on a rooftop near the pier looking intently through a pair of binoculars. He had been in this basic position for hours. So far there hadn't been any unusual movement at the new, rumored headquarters of the Purple Dragons, but that didn't mean he was ready to give up.

 _Grrrrrrrrrrrrr_.

His stomach however…

"Quiet!" Leo whispered to his stomach. "I just fed you an hour ago."

 _Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr._

"Don't make me feed you one of Mikey's jalapeno and maple syrup pizzas. Because I will!"

Silence.

Leo smiled.

He looked back through his binoculars.

 _Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr._

"Oh, come on!"

Leo got up and walked around, stretching his sore back. At least that body part wasn't giving him any trouble.

"Pie time! Pie time!"

Leo stopped mid-stretch.

He looked over the right side of the building he was sitting on and saw two little boys following after their father as he exited a nearby bakery.

"Is it blueberry?" asked one boy.

The father shook his head, a playful smile on his face.

"Chocolate?" asked the other boy.

"Nope." said the father. "I'm not letting either of you know what it is until we get home."

"As long as it's not rhubarb." said the first boy. The two brothers looked at each other.

" _Eeeeewwwwwwwww!"_

The brothers laughed at their simultaneous Eews before following after their dad.

Leo smiled wistfully after the family.

Slowly, he drew himself away from the family scene and peered back through his binoculars.

He froze.

There, in the distance, three cars were just pulling up to one of the warehouses.

Leo adjusted the focus on the binoculars as eight figures exited the cars.

"Purple Dragons." he said, noticing the tattoos on their arms.

The eight Purple Dragons marched into the building, making extra sure to close the door behind them.

It was now or never.

Leo put a hand to one of his katana, ready to sprint off and fulfill his mission.

 _Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr._

Leo glanced down at his stomach.

He looked back towards the way the brothers and their father had gone, the sound of their laughter still echoing through the air.

* * *

Back at the lair Mikey and Splinter stood at the kitchen counter kneading some dough.

Mikey sighed.

Splinter watched his youngest son listlessly work the dough. The dough itself was a mess. What should have been a firm ball was a wet paste that clung to both the counter and Mikey's hands like a slimy glob of taffy.

Splinter had seen his youngest make a pie out of algae and worms that looked good enough to be the cover photo for a culinary magazine (minus the occasional worm sticking out), but this…

As Splinter watched his son's sad excuse for cooking one thing rang across his mind.

How badly he was going to punish his sons when they got home.

Oh, he wouldn't be overt about it. Noooooo. He would punish them without them even knowing. He could see it now. Leonardo, come let me show you how to throw someone across the room. Donatello, your arms are looking weak. How about a thousand push-ups to firm them up? Raphael, your moves seem to lack focus. I think eight hours of meditation should fix that.

As Splinter plotted more schemes to punish his children his hands ground into the ball of dough, his iron grip strangling the defenseless flour as if preparing for all the horrible things he would force his sons to endure.

Only when Mikey suddenly stopped kneading his own dough did Splinter snap out of his angry trance.

He watched as his son stared sadly at the ill-formed dough.

"My son?" asked Splinter.

Mikey sighed before he gathered the glob of floury goo in his hands, trudged across the kitchen, and dumped it into the trash can.

He stood stone still in the middle of the kitchen as Splinter stared on, helpless to fix the mess.

"I hope you do better than that for my pie."

Splinter and Mikey looked up to see none other than Raphael standing in front of the turnstiles with Casey standing behind him.

"Raph?" asked Mikey. "But…what about the game?"

"Eh, the game was lame."

"Are you kidding?!" asked Casey. "Bronson was just about to go head to head with Kazowski for the puck while Reily—Oof!"

Casey clutched his stomach after a not-so-subtle blow from Raph.

Mikey smiled.

"Hey, guys."

Mikey's head turned as Donnie and April came walking up behind Raph and Casey with two large bags of groceries in hand.

"Sorry we're late." said April.

"We stopped at the store for supplies." added Donnie. "I invited April to join us for Pie Day, and I figured with the extra person we'd need extra ingredients."

"I hope it's okay." said April. "Donnie told me how this was an important family tradition, and the last thing I'd want to do is barge in on you."

Mikey beamed.

"The more the merrier."

April smiled as she and Donnie headed towards the kitchen.

"Hope you saved room for me."

Everyone turned as Leo leapt over the turnstiles.

"I thought you were off hunting Purple Dragons." commented Raph as he helped unload the groceries.

"I was, but for some reason my stomach kept growling the entire time I was on stake-out. It made stealth next to impossible, sooo I decided to come back here. Hand me those strawberries."

Raph and Donnie gave him a knowing smile as he came over to help unload the groceries.

Mikey looked at the full kitchen, a gleaming smile spread across his face and a warm glow filling his chest like a billion rainbows of awesomeness.

Splinter smiled too, the shining light of a father's pride quickly snuffing out all thoughts of punishment from the rat sensei's mind.

"Well?" asked Raph as he turned toward Mikey. "You gonna help us cook, or do I have to bake these pies myself?"

"Please, say you'll help." said Donnie. "I don't think my stomach can take a Raph original."

Everyone laughed.

Mikey grinned and quickly wiped a small tear from his eye.

"Right. Let's get baking. Donnie and April, you're on crusts."

"Yes, chef." said April with a salute.

"Leo, Master Splinter, start dicing the ingredients. Raph and Casey, you're with me on fillings. Let's move it people!"

Everyone smiled as the kitchen whirled to life, the sound of clanging pans and laughing friends creating the perfect melody for the family's most perfect Pie Day.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi Hi Everyone!**

 **A brand new chapter to start a brand new week! YAY! This chapter was sooo much fun to write. I'm a huge fan of the culinary arts, so getting to write an entire chapter centered around pies was a totally awesome treat! Out of curiosity, what are some of your favorite desserts?**

 **Let me know what you thought of this latest chapter. Thank you so hyper much for reading, and, as always, have a hyper happy day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


	19. Fort Raph

**Fort Raph**

 **Age:** _Seven Years_

"You spelled that word wrong."

" _Grrrrr."_

"And that one."

" _Grrrrrrrrrrrr."_

Raph sat on the sofa trying to do his homework. _Trying_ being the key word since a certain brainy brother of his was hovering over his shoulder and had been for an annoying amount of time.

"That word should be—"

"Stop it!" yelled Raph. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! It's my homework! Not yours!"

"I'm just trying to help." said Donnie.

"I don't need help."

Raph pointedly turned away from Donnie, hoping he would take that as his cue to get lost.

He didn't.

"That word needs an E."

"Grrrrrrrrrrr!"

Raph grabbed up his materials and marched away.

"Where are you going?"

"To do my homework somewhere without you!"

The tiny, enraged turtle stomped across the lair towards the entrance to the dojo, hoping to find some peace and quiet.

Instead he found Leo.

Raph glared as he watched Leo go through some basic kata in the middle of the dojo.

"Hi Raph."

"Hi." responded Raph curtly.

He sat down and took out his homework.

Leo smiled.

"Homework?"

"Duh."

"I already finished my homework." said Leo proudly.

"Good for you."

"I could help you if you want. Daddy says I'm the best speller next to Donnie."

"He does not!"

"Does so. He put a smiley face on my last homework. If you were a better student, maybe you would…"

Raph growled as Leo broke into a mini-lecture. He picked up his stuff and marched out of the dojo. The last thing he needed was more of Leo bragging.

He marched down the hallway and into his room, slamming the door behind him.

He flopped down on his bed. Finally! The one place in the entire lair where he knew he could be alone, away from his annoying brothers.

After a moment of relishing the sweet quiet of not having his siblings breathing down his neck, he sat up in bed and started back to work on his assignment.

His nose twitched.

"Ah…ah…choo!"

"Bless you."

"Thanks."

Raph wiped his nose to rid himself of any post sneeze—

"WAH!"

Raph jumped out of his bed, slightly frightened that an unseen voice had just said "Bless you."

He looked around the room until his eyes alighted on his bed.

He knelt down, and cautiously looked under the bed only to find-

"Mikey?!" yelled Raph.

And sure enough, there under Raph's bed was none other than his youngest brother, staring back at him with big, blue eyes.

"What are you doing under my bed?!" asked Raph.

Mikey stared for a moment.

He shrugged.

" _Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"_

Raph stomped angrily out of his room and slammed the door behind him.

"Stupid Mikey! Stupid Leo! Stupid everyone!" yelled Raph as he rampaged back towards the living room. "I just wanna be left alone!"

As he stomped angrily into the common area he immediately headed towards the couch, and jumped up onto the cushions in a huff. Everyone knew the couch was Raph's favorite place to do homework. Sure, he didn't actually like doing homework, but the fact that his brothers were keeping him from doing it made him want to do it all the more.

If only there was a way to have the couch all to himself without his stupid brothers being able to bug him.

Raph sat brooding for a long moment.

Suddenly, he had an idea.

* * *

Ten o'clock.

The hour when all good turtles were in bed.

Or so Splinter thought.

Splinter stood in the storage room grabbing his scavenging bags. It was Friday which meant it was time for his weekly trip to the surface to grab supplies. Like a normal school, Splinter gave his children the weekend off so they could rest their bodies from training and catch up on any homework they might have been behind on during the school week.

But, on a more personal level, a weekend off for them also meant a weekend off for Splinter.

Because there were no lessons on the weekends once a week Splinter was able to go on an all-night scavenger hunt to gather supplies. He could spend the whole night getting whatever they needed from across the city, and then sleep in the next day to recover. He still had to wake up to prepare meals and such for his children, but beyond that the day was his to slumber.

Splinter finished loading on his last bag and headed out through the turnstiles for his nighttime quest; the turnstiles giving a small clink as he passed through on his way out.

But unbeknownst to him, that small clink was just what one little turtle had been waiting for.

As Splinter strolled down the tunnels towards the nearest manhole cover, Raph slowly slipped out from behind a corner, a big wad of blankets in his hand.

He waited just a little while to make sure Splinter was really gone then ran across the living room right towards the couch.

He flung the blankets over the couch and then quickly ran to the storage room to grab supplies. A broom here. A piece of wood there.

After only a few minutes of work, Raph stood back and admired his handwork.

For there in front of him stood a fort. Not just any fort mind you, but Raph's fort: A mighty stronghold composed of the couch, numerous blankets, and a bunch of stuff he had salvaged from the storage room. It was big, bold, and best of all it had a big sign out front that read "No Brothers!" in bright, red crayon.

"Cool fort!" said Mikey.

"Thanks. I—Wah!"

Raph screamed at Mikey's sudden appearance behind him.

"Can I come inside?" asked Mikey.

Raph glared.

"No! It's my fort!"

"What's going on?" asked Leo as he and Donnie slowly trudged into the common area, the sleep still plain in their eyes.

"Raph built a fort!" said Mikey.

Donnie and Leo immediately perked up.

"Cool!" said Leo. "What are we playing?"

"We could play pirate." suggested Donnie.

"I wanna be the parrot!" said Mikey.

Raph growled. He quickly ran into his fort, climbed up on top of the couch, and looked down on his brothers from atop the fort walls.

"No! No pirates! This is my fort and no one else is allowed!"

"But why not?" asked Donnie.

"Yeah! Why not?" asked Mikey.

"Because I said so. That's why."

"But that's not fair!" yelled Leo.

"Too bad!"

Donnie glared.

"Well, then I'm gonna build my own fort!"

"Me too!" said Leo.

"And me three!" said Mikey.

"Good! Just leave mine alone!" yelled Raph.

The four brothers all glared at each other before Leo, Donnie, and Mikey all ran off in separate directions.

Raph glared after them. Finally, he would have the peace and quiet he deserved.

He climbed down into his fort and grabbed the notebook he had brought with him. Time to finally finish his homework.

…

But first he had to grab a candle because it was really dark in his fort and he had no idea what he was looking at.

* * *

A small, paper lantern glowed next to Raph as he sat inside his fort scribbling away at his notebook.

He finished writing one last word before closing his notebook.

Done!

At long last he had finally finished his homework. Normally their homework wasn't actually very long, a page of spelling here, some math there, but Raph had soooorta been neglecting a few of his assignments this week which meant he had a lot to catch up on.

He tossed his notebook to the ground next to him and leaned back, relaxing in the warm afterglow of a job well done.

…Yep.

Relaxing.

All alone.

In the complete and total solitude of his fort.

…

He wondered what his brothers were doing.

At the thought of his brothers he realized there was one thing he had yet to do: Go rub his finished homework in his stupid siblings' faces.

With that thought in mind he grabbed his notebook and exited the fort.

"Leo!" he yelled. "Donnie!"

Silence.

Raph furrowed his brow. Typical. The moment he wanted to gloat his brother were nowhere to be found.

Still, he would not be deterred.

He checked their rooms first to see if they had gone back to bed, but upon seeing that they weren't there he decided to check the bathrooms, which were also empty.

He walked back towards the living room, curious as to where his brothers had gone, when he spotted a small glow coming from inside the dojo.

He grinned.

He quickly ran across the living room and rounded the corner into the dojo only to find a large fort made of sheets, wooden planks, and wooden practice weapons; the glow from a paper lantern shining through the thin fabric of the sheets.

"Guys?" asked Raph tentatively.

The front fold of the fort opened revealing Leo wrapped in a towel like a robe.

"Hey, Raph." said Leo coolly.

Raph smiled as he held up his notebook.

"Hey, Leo! Check out my homework! I finished it all by myself _without_ your help. Wanna see?"

Leo jutted out his chin proudly.

"Sorry, but anyone who wants to enter the castle of Shogun Leo must first do all the basic kata totally perfect."

"What?!" shouted Raph indignantly. "But you can't even do all the basic kata perfect!"

"Can too!"

"Cannot!"

"Can too!"

"Cannot!"

"Quiet!" shouted Leo. "As Shogun of Castle Leo I banish you from the dojo! Go find someone else to look at your homework."

Raph growled.

"Fine! I will!"

He stomped out of the dojo as Leo glared at him from behind.

Raph stomped down the hallway indignant. "Shogun Leo." More like Shogun Stupid Face.

As Raph vented his anger a small growl suddenly emanated from his stomach.

He was hungry.

With his new desire for a late night snack surpassing his desire to stay angry at Leo (barely) Raph made his way into the kitchen.

Once inside however—

"Hi Raph!"

Raph groaned as he stood before a large wall consisting of blankets draped over the kitchen table and chairs. It was far bigger than Leo or Raph's fort, and unfortunately for Raph it also blocked all access to the kitchen's food supply.

High up on the kitchen table stood Mikey, waving a spoon in greeting and wearing a pot on his head.

"Welcome to Mikey-Landia, the funnest place on Earth! I'm the king. See my crown?!"

He tapped the pot with his spoon.

Raph decided to ignore the question.

"I want a snack."

"Sure!" said Mikey. "What's the password?"

"Password?"

"Duh! If you want a snack you have to say the password." Mikey looked around cautiously.

"It's Bubble Monkey." he whispered.

Raph glared.

"Bubble Monkey."

Mikey giggled.

"You don't just say the password, silly. You have to sing it!"

"What?! I ain't singing!"

"You got to sing if you want a snack." said Mikey in a singsong voice.

Raph growled.

And unfortunately his stomach growled back at him.

He sighed.

" _Bubble Monkey~!"_ he sang.

"Yay!" said Mikey. "Snack for you."

Mikey climbed down off the table, onto a chair, and behind his fortress wall.

Raph tapped his foot impatiently as he waited until a single piece of bread came flying over the wall.

He quickly grabbed it out of the air, fumbling for a moment before finally getting a firm grip.

"There you go!" said Mikey as he climbed back onto the table.

"But I wanted an apple!" whined Raph.

"Sure! All you need is the apple password. And you have to say it while doing the official Mikey-Landia dance. I'll show you. First you turn around like this…"

As Mikey proceeded to demonstrate his kingdom's national dance, Raph turned and stomped out of the kitchen. He may have wanted an apple, but he'd definitely settle for bread if it meant not having to do his brother's dumb dance.

As he marched back towards his own fort in the living room sullenly eating his bread, he spotted Donnie walking towards the storage room with a few coloring books in hand.

Raph immediately perked up.

"Hey, Donnie!" he shouted. He quickly ran over to Donnie and held out his homework.

"I finished my homework all by myself. Wanna see?"

"No thanks." said Donnie.

"What do you mean, 'No Thanks?'" asked Raph. "You love looking at my homework."

"I'm too busy working on my fort!" said Donnie excitedly. "I'm calling it Donnie City! I have so many ideas!"

"But what if I got something wrong?"

"I'm sure you did fine."

Donnie opened the door to the storage room.

"Later Raph."

He shut the door.

Raph stood staring at the door.

Leo was in his fort.

Mikey was in his fort.

Donnie was in his fort.

And Raph was all alone.

Total peace and quiet…

* * *

Silence drifted throughout the turtles' sewer home.

Leo sat in his dojo castle absent mindedly fiddling with the edge of his robe.

Mikey laid across the top of the table, rolling around an apple as he sang "Bubble Monkey" over and over in a bored fashion.

And even the president of Donnie City, once absorbed with the idea of building his metropolis, sat staring at the wall, his work complete and nothing more to do.

" _Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"_

A cry rang throughout the lair.

"Raph?" asked Mikey.

Quickly all three brothers ran from their forts to the living room only to see Raph standing in front of his partially collapsed fort and using a piece of wood to fight against…nothing.

"Back! Go away you big ugly monster."

"What are you doing?" asked Donnie.

Raph collapsed back onto his butt, breathing heavily.

"Whew! It's gone."

"What's gone?" asked Mikey.

"The monster!" shouted Raph.

"Monster?" asked Leo.

"Yeah! It was a big, giant, evil squid monster with fire breath and laser eyes!"

"It was?" asked Leo excitedly.

"Yeah! It attacked my fort. I tried to fight, but it turned invisible! It could be back any second!"

"Cool!" said Mikey.

"What should we do?" asked Donnie, also getting excited.

Raph grabbed his chin in a thoughtful pose.

"It's too strong for just one of us. If we wanna defeat the monster we have to take all our little forts and make them into one big fort! We can do it here in the living room!"

"I can grab weapons from Castle Leo." said Leo.

"I'll grab extra supplies from Donnie City." echoed Donnie.

"And I can bring snacks from Mikey-Landia!" shouted Mikey.

Raph smiled.

"Good! Now hurry! Before the monster comes back!"

"Yeah!"

Mikey, Leo, and Donnie ran off to their respective forts to grab supplies for the great ensuing battle.

And Raph just grinned, happy to have his brothers back once again.

* * *

Step, 2, 3, 4. Step, 2, 3, 4.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Splinter trudged back towards the entrance of his home, numerous bags of supplies hanging from every part of him. It had been an extremely successful night. He had gotten everything he had wanted with plenty extra.

Unfortunately, his extra supplies meant that his load was extra heavy.

As he heaved himself and all his bags through the turnstiles, he noticed a large, odd looking structure standing in the middle of his living room.

Curious, he sat down his bags, thankful to have them off his shoulders, and walked over to the structure.

From what Splinter could guess his children had created some kind of fort, though this particular fort was definitely their biggest and most complicated one to date.

Slowly, he creeped around to the front of the fort and opened the entrance flap.

He smiled.

For there, inside the fort, were all four of his children, nestled together and sound asleep with wooden practice weapons still gripped in their tiny hands.

Gently he closed the flap and went back to his bags of supplies.

He wasn't entirely sure what had gone on while he had been away, but he could tell just by looking at them that they had had an extremely active night.

Tonight, he would let them stay together in their cozy fort dreaming of all their nighttime adventures.

They could clean up this giant mess tomorrow.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi Hi Everyone, and Happy Belated Mother's Day!**

 **I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my own Momma, the bestest Momma in the world! (Yes, I totally know we all say that, BUT STILL!) How did you guys celebrate Mother's Day?**

 **Let me know what you think of this latest chapter. Thank you so hyper much for reading, and, as always, have a Hyper Happy Day! LOVE YOU GUYS~!**


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